I Want to Hold You (and that's all right)
by authorjazmyne
Summary: (HOBBS/RAYDOR) "[Andrea] and I are very close." - - Andy scoffed. "Close? The kid jokes about you dating the woman. Don't you think 'close' is underplaying what you two are?" (In which Sharon and Andrea have a rather untraditional friendship, Andy doesn't like it, Sharon doesn't want to give it up, Andrea doesn't want to get in the way, and maybe Andy's really the problem.)
1. Chapter 1

**Pairing:** Hobbs/Raydor

 **A/N:** Because I have a horrible attention span and get distracted so easily... this sorta just started writing itself when I was supposed to be working on an entirely different fic. I wanted to get this out sooner, before Sharon and Andy's relationship progressed on the show, but I also wanted to make sure this was something that would actually be finished before posting...so, here we are now.

Sharon/Andy are a thing that actually happens here, fyi. It's discussed, and he appears a few times; it's not terribly shippy, but there's definitely Sharon/Andy involved. It's more about how her relationship with Andy affects the one she has with Andrea, and vice versa. This would take place before things become serious for them - assuming they do on the show. (This is definietly a Sharon/Andrea fic despite how it starts out.)

Title taken from the song _Alright_ by Kinnie Starr.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything but a brain that obsesses over fictional characters.

1.

"It's been three weeks, Sharon. You can't honestly tell me you can't find time for one itty bitty dinner with one of your closest friends."

Sharon Raydor snorted as her eyes rolled heavenward, her smirk hidden behind her tea as she took a healthy swallow of the fragrant beverage. "You can't pull the 'it's been forever' card with me while we're having lunch together." She laughed shortly. "It negates your point."

Fernando Morales met Sharon's eye roll with one of his own, his fork stabbing into a cucumber as he shook his head. "Fifteen minutes spent in a loud, busy cafe isn't the same as you coming over for a proper meal. We haven't had a night out in _ages_. Or in this case, a night in. Besides, I have someone I want you to meet." He practically sang his last sentence, eyes alight as he spoke.

"Oh," Sharon said with interest, head tilting.

One of Morales' excited grins stretched across his lips. "His name's Anthony. We've been seeing each other for a couple months now. Met him at a friend's wedding – it was a bore. There wasn't even an open bar at the reception. Bride's dress was hideous, too, but that's not what's important right now, is it?

"Anyway. Anthony was also placed at the irrelevant, single, 'I'm just inviting you because we were once close' table, and he was the only thing that kept me entertained that night."

Sharon smiled in response to Fernando's happiness, the doctor's hands gesturing as he spoke animatedly. "So why am I just now hearing about him?" she questioned. Usually this was the kind of thing she found out about right after it happened.

"Oh, please. Like you've had any time for me recently." Sharon went to disagree, but Morales waved his fork and stopped her. "And don't even bother trying to deny it. I'm still trying to get you to come over for dinner after inviting you several times already."

A long sigh left the captain's lips as she checked the time on her phone and leaned back in her seat. "When?"

"When what?" Fernando finished the last of his salad with a final neat bite and then reached for his tall cup of untouched lemonade. He'd be bringing it back to his office, Sharon knew.

"Dinner. When were you thinking about having this dinner of yours? I'm assuming you've already picked a date."

A smirk slowly crept onto his lips as he tilted his head to the door and collected his trash, signaling he was ready to go if she was. "This Saturday, six o'clock. How's that sound?"

Sharon nodded, her schedule clear for that evening. She slid her purse onto her shoulder while standing and straightened out her blue blazer. "Doable." She picked up the two plastic bags from the table, one holding her trash, the other holding the tray of food she was going to deliver before going back to her office.

"Fantastic." Trash was thrown out and then the two made their way outside, thanking the young man who held the door open for them before entering the cafe himself. "So dinner for four? Or am I going to have to make it five?"

Sharon instantly heard the distaste that slipped into his tone at the last part and couldn't hold back neither her eye roll nor the smirk that came afterwards. "You're going to have to stop that," Sharon said, waiting at the corner to cross the street. The sun was bright, so she shielded her eyes as she looked at her friend. "I don't know why you suddenly don't like Andy..."

"Oh, honey, it's not that I don't like the lieutenant. I would just like him far away from my dinner table, that's all I'm saying."

Sharon decided to leave the topic alone. Fernando didn't treat Andy Flynn any differently since Sharon started seeing him, was always as professional with the lieutenant as he was with everyone else. But whenever her dating him came up, there was an obvious dislike for the forming relationship that he did very little to hide. Sharon wasn't bothered by it. His bluntness and honesty about his feelings were things she appreciated in a friend, even in situations like this one.

"Well, I hadn't planned on bringing him with me, if that's what you were getting at."

Taking a sip of his lemonade from his straw, he nodded. "Well, good. I'm only allowing you to bring one person with you. Five's a bit of a crowd. So I didn't think he'd be coming, anyway."

Sharon hummed, crossing the street. It was a lovely day, the sun's rays dancing along the edges of her face and warming her skin. "Andy and I aren't glued at the hip, you know. I don't need–"

"No, that would be you and Andrea," he said with a hearty chuckle.

Sharon was about to respond when her phone started ringing in her pocket, Detective Sykes' name at the top of the screen. "I've got to take this," she said, swiping her finger to answer.

"And I need to get back to work," he said, giving Sharon's arm a squeeze. "Give Andrea my love, and I'll see you both on Saturday."

Sharon nodded and offered him a smile. "Yes, Detective..."

. . .

Andrea Hobbs was pacing the length of her small office, phone clutched between her ear and shoulder. She'd been on hold for nearly fifteen minutes now and her patience was wearing thin. Her head was pounding with her usual midday headache, and her back had been acting up since she awoken at her home office chair at three o'clock earlier that morning. She was scanning some notes as she walked back and forth, needing the movement after spending much of her time being idle. Her body was used to being in action, or at least standing, so long hours of sitting made her restless when she was working.

All of that ceased to matter when a soft triple knock came against her wood door and Sharon's head carefully peaked in. Andrea offered her friend a smile and gestured her in with a head tilt, holding up a finger to silently tell her she'd be right with her. Sharon quietly told her to take her time and placed a bag down on Andrea's messy desk.

Andrea checked her watch, huffed, and then hung up the phone. There was a delicious aroma filling her office and she hadn't eaten anything since the half of a bagel she had before her meeting with Judge Tompkins 8:30 that morning.

When she turned back around, Sharon was neatening up a small section of Andrea's desk and placing the food out for her. Andrea laughed quietly and crossed the room. "You brought lunch _and_ you're cleaning up after me?" She dropped her notes down on the desk and reached over to a container of grilled chicken, mixed vegetables, and white rice and picked up some broccoli with her fingers.

Sharon lifted her head and gave Andrea one of her dazzling smiles. "Your desk was practically begging for it."

Andrea hummed around her broccoli as her brow lifted, a comment on the tip of her tongue that she chose to keep to herself. Instead, she dragged one of the seats over to her own and then sat down, allowing Sharon the more-comfortable option of her leather office chair. After Sharon sat, and her fingers quickly unbuttoned the single button keeping her blazer closed over her dress, Andrea smiled at her friend.

"Did you already eat?" she asked, using her fork this time to spear a piece of chicken and pick it up with some of the rice.

Sharon nodded, turning the chair towards Andrea. Their legs brushed before Sharon got comfortable. She rested her elbow on the desk and cradled her head, eyes raking over Andrea and then settling on her face. "I had a short lunch with Morales before coming here. He wanted to see if I could come over for dinner this Saturday. He wants to introduce me to a man he's been dating."

Andrea hummed as she chewed, incredibly grateful for the lunch Sharon had bought her because she was definitely in need of some proper food. She hadn't been sure when or what she would be doing for lunch, but somehow Sharon had managed to know exactly what she was craving without Andrea knowing herself.

"Anthony, right? I think he mentioned him a few weeks ago while he and I were at the gym together. Professor at UCLA, I think."

"Professor? So definitely not his usual type," Sharon said with a warm laugh, and Andrea smiled at her.

"If you mean not stupidly young, then no, not what he has been going for lately. Which is good." Andrea pushed her mixed vegetables around with her fork as she spoke. "I think it's a sign that maybe he's ready for something serious again."

Sharon agreed. "Dinner's going to be Saturday at six. I don't know if he's already asked you or not..."

Andrea chuckled as she reached for her water. "Since when does Morales invite both of us anywhere?! He always assumes we'll take care of it for him." She rolled her eyes, taking a few swallows of the refreshing liquid as she looked at Sharon. "He's not the only one, though, so I guess I can't be too annoyed with him."

"At least he's not as bad as Barbara," Sharon said with a little laugh, running her fingers through her hair.

"'Well I just thought that you two would bring each other as your plus one so there was no need to give you separate invitations'," Andrea drawled, making Sharon's laughter grow. Andrea smiled through the harsh fluttering in her belly at the throaty sound, her eyes not leaving Sharon in fear of missing even a second of the breathtaking sight in front of her. "I mean, she wasn't wrong, but at least give us the option to actually decide if we want to bring someone else with us, you know."

"We're a package deal, and I guess all of our friends have accepted that. You want one, you get the other as well."

"Well, we're one hell of a package," Andrea said with a wink, tapping her leg against Sharon's.

Sharon hummed throatily, smirk on her lips as she tilted her head and ran her eyes over Andrea slowly. "That we are," she agreed.

Andrea fought off a shiver. She should be used to the way Sharon looked at her, the way her friend's eyes traveled along her body as if she was seeing something new each time and needed to take her time to carefully inspect it. But she wasn't – and the way she warmed on the inside from the look made her feel as if she never really would get used to it.

She cleared her throat and pushed her hand through her hair. "You want me to pick you up from the apartment? Or will you be heading over there from somewhere else?"

Sharon shook her head, checking the time. "I'll be home. I'm not working Saturday. Rusty and I have plans together, but they're in the morning."

"I'll be there at five-fifteen, then." Andrea closed up her food, half of it eaten. She'd save the rest for later since she was expecting it to be a long day. "And you're still coming over tomorrow, right?"

Every month they spent a Friday night together, usually the second, sometimes the third or fourth if they were unavailable the week before, watching old movies and drinking wine. They made pizza together and then ate it in front of Andrea's television. This month they were supposed to be watching _Casablanca_ , and Andrea had made sure to pick up a few bottles of Sharon's favorite Sauvignon Blanc on her way home the other day. They'd been doing this for at least five years now, and it was certainly one of the things she looked forward to most when she needed to push herself through a tough week.

"Absolutely. Buzz has been helping Rusty with another one of his side projects. He asked if he could stay over since it was going to be late by the time they were able to start working, and I agreed. So I was actually thinking we could, if you wanted to, make this Friday more like the ones we used to have before - - you know."

Andrea's heart forgot how to beat properly for a moment or two and skipped a few beats. Andrea arched her brow. "Like before?" she questioned carefully, slowly. "Before..."

Sharon ducked her head, licking her lips. She smiled, although it was partially hidden since she was not meeting Andrea's eyes. "I'd like to stay over if that's okay with you."

"Of course it is," Andrea said immediately, no hesitation, without even thinking about her answer. "You know you're always welcomed at my house, any time, however long you like."

Sharon hummed and slowly lifted her gaze. There was something in her eyes, a bit of disbelief, but she didn't voice whatever she was thinking.

Andrea frowned, wondering if this was another Andy thing. Things had certainly changed between them since Sharon started dating Andy, but it wasn't much, not enough to warrant the amount of uncertainty that Sharon seemed to have from time to time when trying to figure out where they stood. Andrea had told her – and she would again if Sharon ever needed to hear it – nothing between them needed to change unless that was what she wanted. Things, of course, had changed since the summer: they no longer slept over at each other's homes; Andrea was careful with her affection towards Sharon when around Andy because he seemed to have a problem with it; and even though their flirting had always been innocent enough, that mostly stopped as well. But for the most part, nothing had really changed. At least not for Andrea.

"I should get going," Sharon said as she stood reluctantly, looking at the time. "And you need to get back to work so you get home at a decent hour."

Andrea stood as well, moving the chair back around to the other side of the table as Sharon fixed her blazer and then scooped up her bag. Andrea walked her to the door quietly, their shoulders brushing. When Sharon reached for the door knob, Andrea stopped her, wrapping a hand around her slender wrist. She ran her thumb up in a single stroke, feeling Sharon's sigh before hearing it, the soft breath breezing across her cheek.

They embraced naturally, Sharon's arms winding around Andrea's middle once she released her friend's wrist. Andrea smiled and pulled Sharon closer, hair the scent of dark spices and sweetness tickling her nose. The next sigh to fill their little bubble was her own, her lungs filling with the scent and warmth of Sharon, holding on to it, letting it caress her in the most intimate of ways, and then she softly let it out.

"Thank you for lunch, and for stopping by," she whispered, holding on for a few seconds longer. Sharon hummed against her, and the vibration that formed in her chest could be felt in Andrea's own. It moved from one body to the next, and then back again as Andrea heard herself release a pleased sound.

Sharon seemed as unwilling to part as Andrea, her hands gripping Andrea's blouse tightly as her nose rubbed the side of Andrea's neck. It caused a pleasant warmth to bloom in Andrea's chest, lower in her stomach, and she brought one of her hands up to gently stroke the back of Sharon's head. Of course, they both knew they had to get back to work and couldn't stand like that indefinitely. So after another few seconds, they pulled away from each other.

Sharon whispered an apology, brushing her hands down the front of her blazer and then sticking them into her pockets. Andrea rolled her eyes slightly and let her fingers work through Sharon's hair again, this time fixing it in the front and then letting the backs of her fingers caress Sharon's cheek.

"I needed that. Don't apologize for hugging me."

Sharon smiled at Andrea, a softness to her eyes that Andrea found made her want to pull Sharon in for another hug. " _I_ needed that. It's been a difficult week for the both of us, I think, and I've..."

"Yeah," Andrea said, nodding in agreement to what Sharon hadn't said. They used to seek comfort from each other when they were feeling emotionally drained or stressed more often than they had been lately, but Andrea understood that it was still something Sharon needed from her because it was something she needed as well.

Sharon cleared her throat and nodded once. "I'll talk to you later tonight."

Andrea nodded, opening the door for Sharon. "I'll text you."

"Don't forget," Sharon said over her shoulder as she walked away.

. . .

"And don't forget you can call me if you need me," Sharon said to Rusty as he and Buzz packed up to go Friday evening.

Buzz laughed quietly, and Rusty huffed while slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I'm going to be with Buzz, Sharon. Buzz. What could possibly go so wrong that we won't be able to handle it?"

Sharon eyed the two of them, knowing Rusty would be fine with Buzz. She was actually quite glad to hear he had sought Buzz's help all on his own and was showing more and more independence each day. That didn't stop the worrier in her from, well, doing what it did best.

"And aren't you supposed to be having a date night with DDA Hobbs?" he asked with a smirk he didn't even bother trying to hide.

Sharon's eyes widened a fraction before she got control of her reaction and narrowed them instead. "Movie night," she corrected, ignoring Buzz's uncomfortable shuffling.

"Ah, so that's still what you two are calling those. Yeah. Have fun with that. I'll be fine."

Sharon hated how his comment made her stomach twist uncomfortably. She was sure she'd be blushing if she wasn't fighting the reaction with everything she was. She shot him a warning look, and his smirk slid off his face within seconds. It didn't bother her when he made comments like that when it was just the two of them, or even when Andrea was around, because she and Andrea knew what they were and what they weren't. But at work, when others were around, she preferred he not joke about things like that.

"Sorry," he said while pulling at the strap of his bag. "But seriously, don't worry about me tonight. Enjoy your time with Andrea and we'll meet for breakfast like we planned. Okay?"

Sharon gave his shoulder a long squeeze, nodding at him. "I'll always worry about you, you know that." He rolled his eyes a little, but he smiled and nodded as well. "But I'll drop this and let you get going. You two have a good night," she said, looking over to Buzz, who was waiting out of the way but still close by.

"You too, Captain," he said with a warm smile. "Ready, Rusty?"

Rusty waited for Sharon to give him a nod and then left. "Yeah. Let's go."

Sharon watched them leave and then started making her way to her office. Most of her detectives were already gone, Flynn and Provenza the only ones left behind. Sharon arched her brow when she looked at the gray-haired lieutenant, and he held up a form with a deep frown. She smiled sympathetically and turned to Andy, not surprised to see him already looking at her as he leaned against the edge of the desk.

"I remember a time when you were ready to get out of this building as soon as your work was done," she said as she eyed his empty desk.

"Must have been before I had a reason to stay after hours," he said with a hopeful grin. "I was thinking we could grab a bite to eat. What do you say? You in the mood for that vegetarian spot by your building?"

Sharon's smile faltered. "Oh, Andy, I have plans tonight."

He huffed out a breath and nodded, hands stuffed into his pants pockets. "I know. Date night with Hobbs. I heard, but I thought you might want to do this instead."

Sharon's eyes narrowed. If he had heard, then why had he asked her out for dinner? His tone, the one he always used when referring to Andrea nowadays when it wasn't about work, made her skin tingle uncomfortably. She almost didn't even notice that he had called her movie night with Andrea a date just as Rusty had. When he said it, there was no teasing, only jealous bitterness.

She sighed. "It's a movie night, not a date night," she told him tiredly, as she had just told Rusty. "And I told you last time that it's something we do every month, so why do you seem surprised that that's what I planned on doing tonight?"

"Rusty's gone for the night. I just thought it would be nice for us to spend some alone time together." His brow furrowed as he looked at Sharon, and Sharon sighed again.

Sharon looked around them and then tilted her head towards her office. He followed her into the room and then closed the door. Once they were alone, Sharon took her seat and then waved her hand to one of the chairs on the other side of the desk. He hovered at the door with his hands buried deep in his pockets, but after a few seconds of Sharon waiting patiently, he let his shoulders droop and took a seat.

"Andy," she said very carefully once he was settled, "is there something bothering you? Things have been... _off..._ these past few weeks. Is everything all right?"

Andy left Sharon's eyes. He appeared to be looking far off into the distance, a coldness to his features that she was not used to. "You and _Andrea_..."

Sharon stopped herself from reacting to the way venom seeped into his voice when he said her friend's name. He sighed after he said it, and Sharon could tell he hadn't meant for it to come out like that.

"What about her and me?" Sharon asked in a neutral tone. It was getting late, the streets already darkening behind her. She was tired, physically and emotionally, and was hoping this conversation would continue on a lighter tone than similar ones had in the past.

They'd more or less talked about this topic before, and it never went well - just like she and Andrea had spoken about her dating Andy, and she and Morales had discussed her relationship with both Andrea and Andy. Since Sharon started seeing Andy romantically three months ago, there had been several small conversations and comments about both of those (very different) relationships.

"Are you unhappy with me?" Andy asked instead of answering her question. He sounded unsure of himself, hesitant. Sharon wasn't sure he even wanted her to answer the question. He looked hurt, like she had already rejected him.

Sharon sighed and placed her hand palm up on the desk, offering it to him. She looked at him with kind eyes until he placed his own in hers, allowed her to wrap her slender fingers around his strong hand.

"You don't have to lie to me, Sharon. If you're having second thoughts, or..."

Sharon covered their joint hands with her second. "I'm not having second thoughts about us, Andy. I've enjoyed our time together, and I would like to continue doing so."

His loud breath was heavy in the air, his relief palpable. "Okay. Well, that's, uh... That's good to hear."

Sharon allowed a tiny smile to appear on her lips as she nodded and squeezed his hand. "However, I hope you know that that doesn't change the fact that Andrea and I do have - -" her eyebrows knitted together as she looked away and searched for the appropriate words. "She and I are very close."

Andy scoffed, and Sharon raised her brow and looked at him. "Close? The kid jokes about you dating the woman. Don't you think ' _close'_ is underplaying what you two are?"

Sharon could feel her heart start beating a little faster, her stomach twisting uncomfortably. She started to carefully pull her hands away from Andy, unable to give him the reassurance he needed when she was worried her hands would start trembling.

Andy sighed and scratched at the back of his neck, frowning. "Look, Sharon, I'm not asking you to stop spending time with Hobbs–"

"Excuse me?" Sharon's voice startled even her as the words left her mouth, icy and deadly. Andy jumped slightly in his seat across the desk.

"Whoa!" Andy held up his hands defensively and gave her what Sharon was sure Andy had meant to be a smile to calm her after hearing her reaction to him – unintentionally, she was hoping – hitting a nerve. "That's _not_ what I'm asking."

"Well, good, because I can assure you that that's not an option on the table, Andy." Sharon's tone was still harsh, her words careful and precise, but she didn't apologize for it.

"I would never think I have any say in who you choose to spend your time with," Andy said slowly, almost apologetically, perhaps even a little confused. His brow furrowed.

And Sharon's thumb rubbed over the ring finger of her left hand as she replied, voice tougher than steel, "Well you certainly don't, so I'm glad we're on the same page."

"All I'm-"

Sharon interrupted him with a shake of her head as one of her hands was held up to quiet him. She was starting to feel uncomfortable, and angry, and she no longer wished to discuss this topic with Andy anymore.

"This really isn't the time nor place for this conversation, Andy." She looked around the office and then shook her head again. "We can continue this at another time, somewhere more private – but not here where we work."

Andy looked like he was going to protest for a second, his jaw tight, but then he nodded defeatedly and stood from his chair. "You're right. This isn't the place for this. We agreed to keep our professional and romantic relationships as separate as they could be, so I'm sorry."

Sharon forced a smile to her lips. "I'm the one who asked to speak to you. You were only answering a question I asked you in the first place. It's my fault."

Andy hovered at the door before nodding his head once. "Want me to walk you out?"

Sharon shook her head, looking into Andy's apologetic eyes. Her smile came naturally this time, just a small one. "Thank you, but that won't be necessary."

"All right. Night, Sharon."

 _to be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** This chapter was supposed to explain their current relationship and history as well as cover the entire night… But somehow it ended up being nearly 8k words, so here's the first half and chapter 3 will be up in a few days.

2.

Andrea's kitchen smelled like sugar and cinnamon, the sweet aroma wafting out into the rest of the house as Andrea pulled out a pan of homemade cinnamon rolls from the oven. She quickly placed them on the island, where they could cool some before she added the icing to them. She peeled off her black oven mitts and stacked them beside her baked goods, smiling proudly to herself as she gave her desserts another look. She shut the oven gently and crossed over to the fridge to take out the ingredients for the pizzas, a jazz playlist playing in the background.

She was so wonderfully lost in the peaceful environment she had created in her kitchen that she nearly jumped out of her skin when her eyes landed on an amused brunette watching her from just outside the kitchen. Thankfully her hands were empty, the bowl of diced chicken just making it to the countertop before she noticed Sharon. A warm flush rushed up her neck, her breath catching in her chest.

"I used my key," Sharon said as she held up the key ring on one of her curved fingers. "I rang the bell first, but," she said with a smile as she glanced over to the opened laptop, _In the Mood_ by Glenn Miller happily spilling out of its speakers, "you must not have been able to hear it."

"So you stood there watching me instead," Andrea said as she shook her head. She played over the last minute or two. She'd been dancing with the music as she often did while in the kitchen, humming along, and she could only imagine how ridiculous she looked while doing it with her hands full of ceramic bowls.

Sharon smiled lightly, but even though it looked genuine, there was a dimness to her eyes that made Andrea instantly worry. "What can I say? I enjoy a free show," Sharon said with a soft laugh as she entered the kitchen.

Andrea smiled back at her, but she moved to turn down the music some as she leaned against the counter. Sharon took a seat on one of the stools, her feet bare with rose polish on her toes. She was still wearing her pantsuit sans jacket, but her hair was clipped back like she sometimes put it when she got home after a long day. Sharon only raised one of her perfectly-plucked eyebrows as Andrea slowly took in her friend's demeanor, allowing Andrea to look at Sharon without the brunette questioning her.

When she was finished, moments later, she frowned and moved over to the island where the cinnamon rolls were. Andrea could tell something was wrong with Sharon, but she didn't ask her about it. A lot of the time Sharon preferred a distraction until she was ready to discuss what was bothering her. So Andrea reached for the bowl of icing she'd made and asked, "Want one?"

Sharon spun around to face her, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled her head in her hand and looked at Andrea. "No, thank you. Not right now."

Andrea nodded, spooning out the gooey icing and letting it drip down onto the rolls. Andrea glanced up once or twice to see Sharon silently watching her, as she normally would, and smiled at her friend. Soon they would get started on their pizzas, but for a few minutes Andrea wanted to give Sharon a chance to relax and clear her mind of whatever had upset her.

"Wine's in the fridge," she said after a few moments, sucking icing off her thumb and bringing the emptied bowl over to the sink.

Sharon hummed and got up from the stool. "Would you like me to pour you a glass as well?"

"Do you even need to ask?"

Sharon hummed again and retrieved two glasses before searching the fridge for the wine, a soft sound leaving her throat once she located it. "Ooh. Excellent choice."

"Don't tell me you seriously expect anything less from me." A low rumble formed in Andrea's chest, her eyes flicking over to Sharon as she grinned at the brunette. "You know I know what you like, Sharon."

A smirk played on her lips as she glanced over her shoulder quickly, a little more brightness in her eyes than there had been in them before. "Yes, you most definitely do. And for that, I am eternally grateful."

. . .

Sharon knew it was only a matter of time before Andrea asked her what was wrong with her. She'd seen the worried looks Andrea kept throwing her way while they were in the kitchen, had felt the lingering hands on the small of her back and arms every now and then as they cooked. Andrea had waited patiently for her to bring it up herself, but Sharon had purposely been avoiding talking about what was bothering her because she wanted to enjoy the night with Andrea. They didn't have enough time alone anymore, and she didn't want to ruin the night with a conversation that might not end pleasantly.

"You know, this usually works better if I know what's wrong so I can figure out what you need to make you feel better," Andrea said lightly, laughing into her wine glass to make it sound as if she wasn't as worried as Sharon knew she was.

 _Casablanca_ had been white noise for a long while now, her attention clearly not on the flat screen in front of them. Her head had been resting on Andrea's shoulder, her legs curled underneath her, but her eyes were focused on where her knee touched Andrea's thigh and Andrea's hand rested. She'd been thinking – she'd been doing a lot of that since her drive to Andrea's house.

She covered Andrea's hand and rolled small circles over delicate skin. The side of her hand, from the tip of her thumb to the curve where it turned into a slender wrist, was remarkably sensitive. Sharon watched a long finger twitch and smiled, spirals like tight coils on creamy flesh. Andrea put her wine down on the side table with a soft click and then draped her arm over Sharon's shoulder, slowly stroking a blouse-covered upper arm before letting the weight of her limb settle atop Sharon. She pulled her in deeper to the warmth that grew hotter between their bodies, and Sharon sighed contently and let her lashes flutter, her eyes closing.

In moments like this she could understand why Andy felt the way he did about her relationship with Andrea. She and Andrea were tremendously _comfortable_ around one another. They fell into step with each other, leaned into touches as if knowing when they were coming. Sharon's guard was always down with her, no walls or fences for protection. Andrea had been let in long ago and not even once had Sharon wanted her to leave. She had given Andrea access to parts of herself that she normally kept hidden away. Andrea was so often an exception to many rules Sharon put in place, and Sharon knew Andy was aware of that. Andy knew Sharon had not let anyone in far enough to find out what could mend her soul when she felt beyond repair, only Andrea.

She understood how Andy could be intimidated by what she shared with Andrea. Sharon liked what she had with Andy; he made her happy, obviously cared for her, and sometimes he was challenging in a way that made her blood boil in her veins but didn't anger her. But there was no use comparing any of that with what Andrea did for her – it would always come up short. She and Andrea communicated on a different level, quite often without needing to say anything at all. She'd witness his reaction to the way Andrea calmed her by only holding her gaze from across the room, noticed after she had nodded to Andrea and let out a long breath and gave her a soft smile the way Andy tensed, jaw tight. He couldn't do that. Nobody could, only Andrea.

What Sharon didn't understand, however, was why Andy couldn't understand that her relationship with Andrea did not need to have any impact on the one she had with Andy.

Andrea had been a major part of her life for a little more than ten years, her best friend, her support, her confidant, the one person she could always count on to be there when she needed someone. She and Andy had only been seeing each other romantically for a few months, friendly enough to consider themselves real friends for less than two years. It was unreasonable of him to expect that they could have the same connection that Andrea and she had built over the course of a decade. The complete, unwavering trust they had didn't come easily, and Sharon already found it difficult enough to trust people when her heart was involved. She'd been hurt too badly in the past, her trust taken advantage of too many times by Jack for her to freely hand it out to just anyone.

The hand on her arm started to gently rub, fingers stroking restlessly. Sharon turned her head into the side of Andrea's neck and let her nose brush warm skin, a familiar desire to get closer, so much closer, zipping through her the way fire did when meeting gasoline.

"Are we going to talk?" Andrea asked quietly, her voice cracking slightly. Sharon had moved in closer, tempted by the mixture of intoxicating scents that clung to Andrea's skin. She nuzzled and made a noise in her throat.

Sharon didn't want to talk. Sharon didn't even want to think anymore. She'd been doing a lot of that the last 24 hours, and honestly, Sharon was feeling exhausted from it. She wanted to bury herself in the warmth that Andrea always carried with her, fill her lungs with the scent of her skin, of her hair, revel in the sound Andrea made when Sharon breathed in and hummed. Sharon wanted to forget about the day she had and the thoughts that had taken over her brain. She just wanted to _be_ with Andrea.

"Not right now."

"Okay," Andrea said carefully, her fingers pausing on Sharon's arm.

Sharon could practically hear her mentally counting down from five. After that, Andrea would try again. It was a routine Sharon was rather familiar with. She smiled against Andrea's neck, counting along with her.

 _Five._

 _Four._

 _Three._

 _Two._

 _One._

"How about we move somewhere more comfortable first? Hmm? Then will you talk to me about whatever it is that's upsetting you so badly that you didn't even finish your second glass of wine? Must be pretty serious for that to happen," Andrea said, her teasing smile audible at the end, but her concern still heavy.

"More comfortable," Sharon repeated, her voice low as she moved so she could look at Andrea in the dark room. _Casablanca_ was still playing, and the light from the television casted shadows on the blonde's makeup-less face. "Is this how you plan on getting me into bed tonight, Andrea?" she said with a small, playful smirk. "Under the guise of moving somewhere more comfortable?"

Andrea rolled her eyes and poked Sharon's side with her fingers. "I'm planning on having a heart to heart with you, nothing else." Sharon hummed and laughed in her throat. Andrea licked her lips, biting back a grin as she glanced at Sharon out of the corner of her eye. "And of course I wouldn't say no to more of this," she said, squeezing Sharon's hip and holding her tight to make it clear what she meant.

Sharon hummed and laid her head back down on Andrea's shoulder, exhaling quietly. "You don't play fair, Andrea Hobbs. You know that's an offer I wouldn't turn down."

Andrea leaned her head against the top of Sharon's head as she said: "That's why I offered it. I want to make sure you're okay, and if giving up half of my _huge_ bed and suffering through holding you is the way to do it..." Andrea shrugged, her body shaking a little with the laughter Sharon could tell she was holding in.

Sharon swatted Andrea's thigh and rolled her eyes, a smile twitching at her lips. "It may have been a while, but don't think I don't remember how much you enjoy having me in your bed."

Andrea hummed and sneaked her hand beneath Sharon's shirt. Sharon shivered instantly, a pulse of familiar warmth accompanying Andrea's touch. It was just for a few seconds, Andrea's fingers dancing across her stomach, up towards her ribs, and then back down as Sharon bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from releasing the low moan that she could feel trying to escape. Then, slowly, so very slowly that it felt like Andrea was considering sliding her hand back up instead of down, those smooth, warm fingers slipped away and Andrea brushed her shirt back into place.

Sharon had meant to stay quiet, unsure if Andrea wanted her to comment on the touch or not, but she heard the words escaping her mouth in a raspy whisper before she could stop them.

"I've missed the way that feels - the way you feel."

(Sharon wasn't sure she would have stopped them, anyway. It was the truth, and honesty was one of the things both she and Andrea thought were important in their friendship.)

. . .

Andrea closed her eyes and breathed in through her nose, feeling a rush of heat shoot up her neck and to her face. Sharon's voice took on that same raspy quality when she was aroused, and it was times like this that she wished she didn't know that. Andrea's heart beat at an abnormal pace, harsh thumps that she could feel against her chest.

Sharon stilled, and then after a second, she shifted, her legs untucking and stretching out in front of her. "I shouldn't have said that," she said with a frown, pulling away completely.

Andrea reached out and took Sharon's hand into her own, keeping her from standing when she was about to get up, wrapping around Sharon's flexing fingers. "No, please don't go."

Sharon didn't meet her eyes. She looked straight ahead to the television that played the movie they were supposed to be watching but hadn't paid much attention to. Andrea slowly let go off her arm and turned around, back now to the arm of the sofa so she was facing Sharon. Sharon still wouldn't look at her, but she did relax back into the seat.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Andrea smiled sadly. "Oh, honey, you didn't. You didn't, I swear. It was just... _Unexpected._ " It shouldn't have been, not after everything they'd shared.

Sharon's brow lifted, her hands flexing in her lap. Andrea watched the movement of the other woman's fingers until they relaxed. "Unexpected," Sharon repeated in that careful tone of hers.

Andrea worked her hand through her hair and contemplated finishing off her wine, the glass right behind her, but quickly decided against it. It wouldn't settle the nerves in her stomach, not when they were mixed with the subtle tingling of arousal.

They were both quiet for a few minutes, motionless. Andrea was mentally chiding herself for giving into the urge she had to feel Sharon's skin. It had been her friend's comment about Andrea enjoying having Sharon in her bed that turned what was usually a controllable desire into one she felt unable to resist. Andrea regretted giving in almost as soon as she had done so. With that touch, she had broken a rule she'd given herself a few months back: no touching beneath clothes.

Regret had never been the reaction she received when touching Sharon in the past. She had never needed to worry about whether or not it was all right to do so, if it was wrong. It was another one of the things that had changed since Sharon started seeing Andy romantically. There was now someone else to think about, a third person in the equation who complicated what had been rather simple before. Now, Andrea worried about boundaries that had never existed before; she worried that she'd cross a line by doing something that Sharon had once been more than comfortable with.

Andrea respected the relationship Sharon had with Andy. Respecting that relationship meant not doing anything to jeopardize it.

Andrea had dated two women in the beginning of her friendship with Sharon, one for five months when she and Sharon were just starting to get close, and the other a year later for a shorter period of time. Neither relationship had ended well, and she had gone years without dating until she met a woman who she'd thought it could have worked out with. It didn't. After a while it became very clear to Andrea that she couldn't have both a serious relationship with another woman and have the kind that was developing between her and Sharon. She had committed herself to Sharon in a way not many people understood, and if she ever found herself needing to pick between Sharon and someone else, the choice would always be Sharon.

It was simpler when Sharon hadn't dated, when she hadn't wanted to. Morales said she didn't need to date anyone because she was already dating Andrea - they'd both laughed about it at the time, but later there had been a long discussion about their feelings for each other. Andrea admitted to both her love for the woman and her attraction that had most likely been obvious - she'd never thought to hide it - and while Sharon shared those same feelings for her, there had been the understanding that acknowledging what they felt did not change anything. And Andrea hadn't seen why anything needed to change, had been happy with the way things were between them.

The problem was everybody else's need to throw a label on what she and Sharon were. Neither of them had needed it. They were more than friends; they were also less than lovers, but somehow something _more._ Andrea had joked about them being in a sexless marriage, chuckling over drinks one night after finishing dinner. She hadn't meant anything by it, but it had hit a nerve. That was the night Andrea first got a real look at what the end of Sharon's marriage with Jack was like before the separation, and also when they first slept in the same bed together. The words 'sexless' and 'marriage' were never spoken in the same sentence again when referring to the two of them, but it was still as close to adequately describing their relationship as Andrea had ever gotten.

They didn't have sex, but they held each other, cuddled, and from time to time they indulged in intimate caresses that never went anywhere. Andrea had gotten the feeling that it had been a long time since Sharon had simply been held by someone, and Andrea had missed the feeling of a warm body pressed against her. It didn't surprise her how easily Sharon had sank into her embrace that first night. However, she hadn't expected how often they would find themselves in each other's beds after that. Andrea learned a lot about Sharon when they were alone in bed. They talked for hours until they fell asleep. It wasn't uncommon for a hand to absently caress underneath a shirt, or fingers to play along the curve of a spine, the dip of a waist, sometimes more, touches that got their blood rushing. It was always natural - they were comfortable with each other, and it showed most when they were alone at night.

They also didn't kiss. _Well_ , they didn't kiss often. In the beginning they had never done it. The first time Andrea kissed Sharon it was the same year she'd taken Rusty in, a tender stroke of lips that only lasted a handful of seconds and was meant to calm her when she was full of worry. The first time Sharon had initiated a kiss between them had been the night Jack left the envelope inside her apartment and disappeared after worming his way into Rusty's life. Andrea had spent the night with her, listening to Sharon's frustrations, her anger, and then sadness that had morphed into more frustration. The kiss was a thank you, soft and hesitant, her lips barely brushing Andrea's own while she intertwined their fingers.

Kisses on the mouth were rare and usually chaste.

But, Sharon kissed Andrea on the neck when they cuddled, and sometimes when they hugged.

Andrea had kissed Sharon's back many times while giving her massages.

They both kissed the other more often at night - it was their private time together, where it was just them, and Andrea thought it felt right that way.

They never kissed in front of other people.

Until Sharon started dating Andy, Andrea never questioned what she was allowed to do and what was off-limits. As complex as their relationship might have seemed to people on the outside, it was rather simple. If they enjoyed doing something together, they did it. If it made them happy, they did it. But now that Sharon was no longer single, Andrea knew it wasn't that uncomplicated. She had to consider if Sharon was okay with her doing certain things while she was seeing someone. She had to consider that maybe, while Sharon had been comfortable with her displaying her love for the other woman however she saw fit in the past, she no longer felt that it was appropriate.

. . .

Sharon broke the silence after a few minutes, clearing her throat. "Should I go?" She sounded uncertain, despite her effort to keep her voice steady as she spoke.

Andrea looked up from the spot on Sharon's lap that she had been focused on. "I would like it if you stayed," Andrea said with a small smile. "I meant what I said. You didn't make me uncomfortable, Sharon. Unless I've made this too awkward for you, I really do want you here tonight."

Sharon nodded. "Not at all." She dropped her hand down on Andrea's knee and squeezed, thumb brushing over a bone, smiling at her. "I meant what I said as well," she whispered. She wouldn't elaborate on what she meant, but she didn't think it was necessary that she did.

Andrea covered her hand and let her small smile blossom into a brighter, bigger one that made Sharon's breath catch in her throat. "How about we stop pretending like we're watching this movie now and move to the bedroom, then?"

Sharon laughed, the tension that had formed in her body loosening as she nodded. "Good idea."

 _to be continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

to the guest reviewer who mentioned their relationship sounding like an asexual one: I wanted to reply to you because I found it funny that you said that. When I first started writing this, like when I wasn't really sure what I was going to be doing with the small idea that popped into my head, I was kind of going for something like that. But not exactly. There's this term I can't think of that actually explains the relationship they have in this fic a lot better than I probably did. And then, well, I find comfort in what I'm decent at, which will always be exploring sexual desires, so of course that was slipped in. But the idea was that they have a stronger bond than either of them would find with another, even though they are just friends at this point. (Which is why Andrea stopped dating. She knew that Sharon would always come first.) There's a definite sexual attraction, but it's such a small detail. They're aware of it, sort of give in to it a little at times, but mostly it's not something that matters to them that much. Their relationship is one that has always been about support and love and connection... Anyway, I just thought that was interesting that you said that.

Now on to the fic...

3.

Andrea scratched her fingers over Sharon's scalp and then let the silky strands of hair slip between her fingers as she combed through the thick waves. Sharon's breaths came out in quiet puffs against Andrea's chest, the weight of her head on the woman's breast, above her steadily beating heart. Little noises left Sharon's throat occasionally, her lashes fluttering. Andrea smiled lightly down at Sharon, propped up by two pillows. Sharon's face was soft and calm in the shadows created by the lamp which had been put on its lowest setting, jaw relaxed and lips slightly parted, creases and laugh lines and marks of aging not covered by makeup.

Andrea let her fingertip trace the fine lines at the edge of Sharon's eye, then caressed smooth skin with a single finger as she went down to the ones around Sharon's mouth. She counted in her head as she followed the marks happiness had left on Sharon, remembered pictures of her with Emily and Ricky when they were young and imagined all the smiles they had seen blossom on their mother's face. Sharon lit up with brightness that could rival the sun's beams on the sunniest summer day when her children were around.

Andrea felt Sharon's lips turning upward, and one of the crevices close to her cheek deepened. Andrea traced it with her forefinger, a small, deep semi-circle.

"You're doing it again," Sharon drawled, her voice tired but wonderfully relaxed.

Andrea hummed and moved her fingers back to Sharon's hair. It was graying at the temples, had been for a long time now. Sharon never let it come in too much without taking a trip to the salon to cover it up, but Andrea loved the gray hairs and what they represented. As she scratched her fingers at Sharon's temple, Sharon made a noise caught between a laugh and a purr, a full smile stretching her pinkish lips.

"Andrea." It was little more than a breath, a light sound that tickled the blonde's skin as it floated in the air and then fell down over her.

"I love that I've been able to witness these changes," she told Sharon. She'd said it before; so often they found themselves like this, Sharon's head resting on Andrea while she took in the signs of Sharon's aging. "One day the skin here is smooth and just like everywhere else," she said while stroking Sharon's cheek with her thumb, "then I notice how much time has passed, and suddenly there's proof of the happiness in your life, the stress when you're worried, and just - - evidence of how much life there is in you." Andrea smiled. "I love that I'm able to witness that," she told her again.

Sharon, who was tucked into the left side of Andrea's body, opened her eyes and lifted her head so it was leveled with Andrea's. She studied Andrea's face, looked into her eyes, and was silent for long moments. In return, Andrea stayed perfectly still save for the hand that was languidly caressing Sharon's side through the warm fabric of the camisole she wore. She could smell the minty scent of Sharon's breath as the other woman's exhalations lightly brushed her lips, feel the even beats of her heart where their bodies touched. Andrea could lay quietly while being observed by Sharon for as long as Sharon liked, because it meant she could do the same, she could have silent, undisturbed moments of just looking at Sharon. Looking at Sharon and _seeing_ her.

Sharon had yet to tell her what had been on her mind earlier, but from the softness of features now, Andrea could tell it was no longer bothering her. They had been in bed for quite some time, tonight one of their quieter nights, and Sharon had melted into her body almost instantly. Andrea brought a hand to Sharon's face and cupped her cheek, thumb carefully moving over her cheekbone, and watched as Sharon's entire face opened up for her, eyes transparent and letting Andrea in. Moments like this she was stuck between wanting to kiss her and whisper repeatedly how much she loved Sharon. Her heart felt heavy with emotion, emotions that were thick and syrupy and moved through her body so slowly that they coated everything they touched - it was love, the kind that consumed you and never really stopped, the kind that lasted lifetimes but never truly weakened.

Andrea said nothing, though. When she opened her mouth to speak, she remembered the way someone else would one day be saying those words to her and she didn't want to make it difficult for Sharon by reminding Sharon how strong her feelings were. She smiled, though, full and bright, and Sharon smiled with her, as if she understood exactly what Andrea wanted to say.

And she didn't kiss her.

But Sharon ducked her head and nuzzled Andrea's neck and breathed out softly before inhaling long and deep. It felt like a kiss, warm and gentle; her belly fluttered, as it always did when Sharon did that. The way Sharon buried herself into the crook of her neck was a sign of trust; she felt safe there, and Andrea wanted Sharon to always have that with her. She cupped the back of Sharon's head and let her fingers curl into her hair, and Sharon hummed against her.

. . .

It had taken Andrea a while to fall asleep. It normally did. Once Sharon was sure that moving would not wake Andrea from her slumber, she reached over and turned off the lamp that Andrea had insisted keeping on because she wanted to see Sharon. She settled back against Andrea's body, her back cushioned by Andrea's front like they had somehow ended up while moving around the bed, both restless and refusing to give up the comfort that came with having the other close – even if it meant needing to reposition themselves a dozen times so they were both satisfied.

She pulled the warm cotton sheets tighter around them, up close to her nose, and then closed her eyes. They smelled familiar, like detergent and Andrea – fresh, crisp, and a little sweet – and that smell was the scent of home. She felt a pang in her chest and a stinging in her eyes; she breathed in slowly, her hand searching for Andrea's behind her, and exhaled as she pulled her friend's arm around her. She clasped Andrea's hand tightly and held it against her chest, over her heavily thumping heart, reminding herself that Andrea was right there - reminding herself that she still had her home.

She'd been sleeping terribly the last few months, for a lot longer than that. For a while it had been because of Phillip Stroh, her concern for her son's life keeping her on high-alert. But she could no longer blame her lack of proper sleep on the fear she had felt. While she wouldn't stop worrying about Rusty's safety, she had been working on keeping it at a manageable level; they weren't going to let Stroh ruin their lives.

At night she felt cold, like she was being submerged in tubs of ice; and after a while that chill turned into a numb feeling. Through summer nights she had occasional bouts of uncontrollable shivering and had wrapped herself up in blankets that did nothing to rid her of the icy feeling. Her body had always been horrible at holding on to its heat, but it was only at night that it felt that extreme.

Sharon squeezed Andrea's hand in her own and scooted back a little. She felt warm in Andrea's embrace, safe in her arms, protected – she couldn't remember ever feeling that with anyone else, had never felt it was something she needed, knew she could take care of herself. _But_ , it felt good to know that if she did need someone else's protection, Andrea was beside her.

Sharon knew that what had been keeping her awake lately was not merely a drop in her body's temperature, knew enough about herself to figure out what had truly been bothering her. She had not needed thicker blankets nor warmer clothes. She did not simply feel cold. The last few months she had felt lonely. Her body had been desperate for a heat that she no longer felt she had the right to ask for, the very heat that was now warming her. She'd missed Andrea, and she'd missed having Andrea's arms wrapped around her, strong and safe and loving.

Rusty had noticed Andrea's absence around the condo and had, blunt in a way that reminded Sharon of Andrea – a lot of the things Andrea and Rusty did reminded her of the other –, told her she would sleep better if she just invited Andrea over because pretending like she was okay wasn't doing her any good. He was right. Of course he was right. Rusty's ability to read people was a bit uncanny, especially when she thought she was pretty good at concealing her stress; it was one of the traits Sharon appreciated most about her son, though.

Rusty was one of few people who knew the extent of her relationship with Andrea. She had never hidden how close they were from him, but they'd also never spoken about it until around the time he had come out to her. She wanted to be as honest with him as he had been with her, wanted Rusty to know that he could be open and talk to her about anything and she would in return be truthful with him. Of all the times she had tried to explain what Andrea was to her, it had never been as simple as it was with Rusty. She suspected that it was because he'd seen first-hand the kind of support they gave each other, had spent time getting to know Andrea outside of her role as a DDA, and he'd gotten to know Sharon well enough to be able to tell that she was a lot closer to Andrea than she was most people.

Andrea didn't sleep over as much as she used to before Rusty started living with her. But once Sharon was sure Rusty was comfortable with having her there, Andrea had started spending the occasional night at the apartment. She and Rusty cooked together and had inside jokes that Sharon didn't understand, and Rusty sarcastically called her mom for a whole week when Andrea was helping him get ready for an exam and was frustrating him with all her flashcards and mandatory study sessions.

Sharon missed that, too. She missed the three of them having breakfast together, Andrea only mumbling responses into her coffee and Rusty rolling his eyes extra hard at her as he poured her a fresh cup when the first one was gone. She missed the way he would look at them like he understood something about them that even they didn't and then would say something that would make Andrea laugh. She missed Andrea's laugh filling her home.

Late at night when she couldn't sleep, Sharon thought about how things had been before they started changing. Andrea said nothing had to change, but she had felt her friend pulling away from her little by little. She knew Andrea was only giving her space to figure out what she felt for Andy, but Sharon didn't want the space. She understood why it was necessary for Andrea, though. She also understood why Andrea thought it was what she wanted.

But what Sharon wanted was to have Andrea, her warmth and love and friendship and support, and not have things be different than they were before.

This wasn't the first time there had been a romantic relationship with another person to consider – Andrea had dated in the past – but this was the first time it felt like the relationship was straining things in her friendship with Andrea. That was another thing Sharon thought she understood. Andrea had admitted that she couldn't imagine herself being in anything permanent, nothing too serious. In the end, Andrea felt too strongly about their friendship, and the women she had dated were never okay with how close Andrea and Sharon were. Sharon thought that perhaps Andrea didn't feel the need to put space between them because she had already decided that it wasn't something she was going to give up for another relationship. She had rather remain single, and had been for a long while. But Andrea didn't know how Sharon felt about Andy – lately, Sharon didn't know either – and didn't want to be the reason Sharon didn't follow her heart.

It had only been a few days ago that Sharon started questioning what that meant for them. In the back of her mind she had always known things would change eventually – once she and Andy were serious, which was why they weren't. It wasn't until she spent the night thinking about how much it felt like everything was already different between them that she actually questioned how much more would change. And what was she willing to give up?

Sharon huffed and brought Andrea's hand up to her mouth and touched her lips to hard knuckles, feeling herself slowly begin to drift off.

Not this, she thought, kissing Andrea's hand. She would not give up any of what she had with Andrea.

. . .

"Jesus," Andrea hissed when it felt like an icicle had been dragged across her bare calf. "Your feet are freezing."

Sharon's rumbling laughter vibrated against Andrea, her mouth near Andrea's breast when she spoke. "Warm me up, then. I woke up and found myself on the other side of the bed, alone, and you over here with all the covers."

Andrea peeked one eye open, surprised that it was still completely dark in the bedroom. She thought she had slept longer than she apparently had. She rubbed her eyes clean while simultaneously pulling the bedding higher on them so they were both properly covered. Andrea laughed when she looked down at Sharon, only the top of her head visible with her laying so far down.

"Can you breathe properly like that?" she murmured sleepily, lazily stroking her fingers through Sharon's hair underneath the cover, planning on going back to sleep.

"Mhmm," Sharon hummed, sliding her hand underneath Andrea's tank top. She shivered and hissed through her teeth. "Is that all right?"

Andrea licked her lips and took a careful breath before she nodded her head. "Yeah," she whispered. "Your fingers are cold, though."

Sharon skated her fingers up to Andrea's ribs. Goose bumps raised on sensitive skin; muscles rippled beneath. "Most of me is cold," Sharon replied a few seconds later, as if she hadn't processed what Andrea had said because she was too distracted.

"Only most?" she asked with a laugh that sounded too forced, like she was trying too hard to stay focused on their nonsensical conversation. They were just saying words to fill the silence, anyway. She knew that. She didn't know why she felt like she needed to pretend like her skin didn't feel like it was on fire from Sharon's fingers touching her, especially when Sharon could certainly hear how fast her heart was starting to beat.

"Most," Sharon repeated in a whisper, shifting just a few inches, their legs tangling together, Andrea's thigh between Sharon's. Sharon moved her hand away to safer territory, pulling back out of Andrea's shirt and resting on her arm instead.

Andrea dug her teeth into her lip to stifle a groan. Sharon rolled her hips and Andrea could _feel_ exactly where she wasn't cold, could _feel_ buckets-worth of heat spilling from between Sharon's legs. Damp heat, Andrea thought as she shamelessly rocked back into Sharon. She must have been _so wet_.

Sharon groaned in her throat and slowly lifted her head and straightened up so they were better aligned. Andrea's eyes were still closed, so she hadn't known what to expect. But she wasn't surprised when Sharon's lip brushed her ear, their heads sharing the same pillow. The touch was light and, maybe, accidental, the result of Sharon wanting to be close to Andrea.

"I haven't woken up this..."

"Turned on," Andrea supplied raspily, feeling the heat that seeped through layers of fabric and burned her thigh.

"Yes," Sharon breathed into Andrea's ear, squeezing around Andrea and then letting out a shaky breath. Andrea shuddered. "I haven't been turned on like this in a long time."

Andrea didn't ask what had caused it.

Andrea didn't breathe.

Andrea didn't move.

Andrea didn't think.

Didn't think about a thing –

except for how hot Sharon felt against her.

All of the oxygen was slipping out of the room, through the cracks in the windows and underneath the door. The room spun and tilted like some type of ride at an amusement park – Andrea had never liked amusement parks, had gotten sick one too many times to be a fan. Heat wrapped its slivering tentacles all around her, tight like springs wound up too much, and made her feel like she was going to be burnt alive.

"Andrea," Sharon said into her ear, legs squeezing around Andrea's thigh again. "I want you to touch me."

Andrea's breath got caught in her throat and she nearly choked on it. "You–"

Sharon took Andrea's hand and brought it to her stomach, Andrea's fingertips at the waistband of her silk shorts. "Please. I need you." Sharon rolled her hips and moved her head down to the crook of Andrea's neck, kissing her, mouth opened. "Please. Touch me, Andrea."

Then, suddenly, without a warning, Sharon's heat was gone, all of it, and Andrea felt herself shiver harshly as she sucked in a loud breath.

Three things happened at once: Andrea woke up from her dream; she realized that it was, in fact, a dream; and she discovered that while she had been dreaming about getting to touch Sharon, her hand was shoved between her own thighs.

"Fuck," she mumbled into her pillow, her arm under her body as she laid on her stomach.

"Go back to sleep," she heard in her right ear, raspy and familiar and too damn close when her body was so _aware_ of everything.

And then Andrea's brain caught up with the rest of her and she remembered where her hand was and who was in bed with her and what she had presumably been doing in her sleep and what she was definitely doing in her dream, and oh my god, how long had Sharon been awake?

"Fuck," she mumbled again, discreetly slipping her hand away from where she was pulsing heavily and she could feel so much heat. Had she been touching herself when dream-Sharon had pressed against her? Was the heat she had felt really her own?

Sharon groaned and moved to lay her head on Andrea's shoulder blade. She slipped her hand underneath the back of Andrea's shirt and let her hand glide all the way up until her fingers were on the side of her breast, just resting there. "Go back to sleep," Sharon said again, whispering it this time.

Andrea tried – for maybe twenty seconds, at the most. But her heart was pounding and she wasn't sure if she was embarrassed or worried or just really, really turned on. Except she definitely knew she was the last one, even if it wasn't the reason her heart felt like it was hammering its way out of her body.

"Shhhh," Sharon soothed, and then her hand started to slowly stroke. "Relax. Your heart's beating at an unnatural rate."

"Well your hand's on my breast, Sharon. What do you expect?" she said before she could stop herself, and then, if possible, her heart beat picked up and a flood of heat violently swept through.

Sharon hummed, fingers no longer taking wide strokes from Andrea's rib cage to her armpit. No, Sharon was definitely moving more deliberately now, lightly stroking the side of Andrea's breast. It was such a gentle touch, feather-light, following the curve of the squashed flesh that Andrea laid on.

Andrea squirmed beneath Sharon and tried not to think about how wet she already was from her dream. She could handle a little light touching most days, even enjoyed it. But she was pulsing with want and _aching_ and Sharon's fingers felt so, so, so good on her skin.

"Are you sleeping yet?" Sharon asked after a while, fingers slowly coming to a stop.

Andrea shook her head, grip tight on her pillow. Her chest burned from holding her breath, her thighs from squeezing them tight, and her hips from the effort it took to keep them still.

Sharon hummed again and slid her hand from underneath Andrea's tank top, letting her palm drag down her back, and then over the curve of her hip before she pulled away completely. Andrea whimpered into her pillow, unable to hold in the sound. Sharon's fingers brushed hair away from her face, but Andrea kept her eyes closed, not wanting to see whatever look Sharon was giving her. While they'd never had sex, they'd definitely taken pleasure in getting the other aroused occasionally, so this wasn't her first time being turned on around Sharon. This was, however, the worst it had ever been. They usually stopped before things got too heated.

"Is there anything you want me to do?" Sharon asked after a few quiet moments, her voice a little uncertain, her fingers stroking through Andrea's hair. "I mean..." She cleared her throat. "Do you, uh..."

Andrea smiled at her, hearing the nervousness in Sharon's voice and instantly feeling her heart beat slow down some. She slowly opened her eyes, bringing one of her hands to her face to wipe away anything that might be on it. With the sun still down, the room was filled with a gray lighting that spilled through the curtains. Sharon was right next to her, her eyes on Andrea's face, questioning, patient, curious.

Andrea licked her lips and brushed the backs of her fingers across Sharon's cheek, her neck, and then traced her jawbone with a slowly gliding thumb. When Sharon hummed, Andrea felt it low in her belly. She licked her lips again and dropped her eyes to Sharon's mouth. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted to do a lot of things to her in that moment. Want burned in her body, twisted around inside of her like a dangerous tornado.

"Just lay with me," she whispered, despite the way her body heated at the thought of feeling Sharon's skin pressed to her naked flesh. "I want to hold you."

Sharon raised her brow and rubbed her face against Andrea's hand. "Is that all you want?" she whispered back, her breath heavier than normal, voice thick with _something._

Andrea shook her head and pulled her hand away, rolling over on her side. "It's not," she said needlessly. Sharon wouldn't have asked if she couldn't already tell on her own. "If only my desires were that simple," she said with a small eye roll but also a tiny smile as she patted the space beside her.

Sharon let Andrea guide her so they were positioned how they were before Andrea had fallen asleep the first time.

"I want more than I can have," Andrea murmured into Sharon's hair, nose twitching as she moved close so she could kiss Sharon's shoulder.

Sharon sighed and reached around for Andrea's hand, and once she had it, she squeezed it tightly "So do I," Sharon admitted so quietly that Andrea almost didn't hear it. It sounded like both a confession and a realization.

Andrea kissed Sharon's shoulder again, their joint hands resting on Sharon's stomach. She wanted to ask when what they had had stopped being enough for Sharon – but she was worried about the answer she would get. She wanted to ask what else Sharon wanted – but she was sure she had a better idea of that than Sharon did herself lately. She wanted to ask if Sharon thought Andy could give her what she wanted – but then she remembered that they were moving at a snail's pace and Sharon no longer looked at him like she was certain about where they were heading.

Instead, Andrea waited until she thought Sharon was sleeping to brush her lips across Sharon's shoulder again. "You can have all of me," she whispered against her warming skin. "All of me."

 _to be continued..._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Quick thank you to all of you who reviewed! Your excitement about the fic gets me excited about sharing more of it. I hope y'all continue to enjoy the story as it continues :)

Formatting on this website is an annoyance, so periods separate stanzas in the poetry included in this chapter.

4.

Sharon awoke at a leisurely pace Saturday morning. She yawned into a cupped hand and then stretched her arm out in search of something solid and warm to cling to. Her brain was still fuzzy from sleep, so it took her a long moment to realize that when she scooted over and burrowed into something comfortable and plush that it was Andrea her body had gravitated towards. At that realization, Sharon snuggled closer and wrapped her arm around Andrea's middle. She could feel the even beats of a heart beneath her ear, and for a while she listened to it and the soft sounds Andrea made in her sleep while allowing herself to slowly reach full wakefulness.

Sharon was a woman of habit. Regardless of the time she'd gone to sleep the night before, her internal clock woke her around 6:15 most mornings; she stretched for five minutes after using the bathroom and washing her face; she ran the same trail for a few miles on her mornings off, and went through the same routine of getting ready for work all the other days. Normally there was no lingering in bed; once she was awake, she was up. However, she had never willingly left Andrea alone in bed as soon as she awoke when there was nothing that needed her immediate attention. With Andrea, Sharon lingered.

For the first time in a long while, Sharon woke up feeling well-rested. There was a pleasant lightness to her body as she moved from Andrea's chest and propped herself up, cradling her head with her fingers slipped into her unruly hair. She had simultaneously hoped for this feeling and wished her sleep would be no better than it had been recently. Sleeping well with Andrea by her side would only mean knowing for sure what was wrong with her when she went back to sleeping on her own every night.

When she asked Andrea if she could spend the night, a small part of Sharon had thought her request would be denied. It was impossible not to notice the last time they'd shared a bed had also been the night Sharon told Andrea about Andy asking her out on a date. Andrea had stayed late into the night a few times recently, but she always insisted on driving home afterwards. It was because of that that Sharon had gone back and forth on her decision to ask about staying last night. Sharon was certain Andrea was making a conscious decision not to sleep with her and would turn her down.

So she almost hadn't asked. But not only had she believed she would finally have a good night's sleep if Andrea allowed her to stay, she'd missed their closeness and wanted a sense of normalcy after everything had been feeling a little off lately. Even with part of her expecting to be rejected, Sharon had a strong feeling that Andrea also missed the way things were before.

Laying on her back beside Sharon, Andrea continued to sleep, undisturbed by the woman watching her. She snored lightly, and Sharon found that it was something she had actually missed. It wasn't loud enough to keep her awake when she was trying to fall asleep, but it was enough to remind Sharon of Andrea's presence in the middle of the night. Now, it made the corner of her mouth lift as Andrea expelled the low rumbling sound. She closed her eyes and laid her head down next to Andrea's, slowly synchronizing their breathing. She didn't know when the next time she would feel so wonderfully at peace like she had been these past hours she'd spent at Andrea's house, so she would relish it while it lasted.

Before she left later in the morning, Sharon wanted to talk to Andrea about the two of them. She had originally thought that last night would be a good time to bring up how she felt about the changes in their friendship, but her thoughts of Andy had gotten in the way of that. She'd been deeply bothered the night before by a few things, and she had known no good would come from any conversation they would have had. Sharon had needed to sort through her conflicting emotions before she could talk to Andrea. She wanted to make sense of how she felt, especially after the conversation that took place in her office with Andy, so that she and Andrea could have an honest, open discussion.

Andrea had given her time to think last night, allowed her silence and didn't push anymore to get her to speak once they were in bed. Sharon appreciated that. Andrea's calming presence and soothing touch had helped clear her mind, and Sharon hadn't given Andy too much thought after Andrea started massaging her scalp. She didn't think of Andy much at all when she was with Andrea, Sharon realized. (The same could not be said about Andrea when she was with Andy, she knew, and for constantly thinking about her while with him Sharon often felt bad.)

After clearing her head, Andy only crossed her mind when Sharon was working through decisions she knew she needed to make about where their relationship was heading. The way she saw it, there were two main roads they could go down. Either Andy accepted the role Andrea played in her life and they continued seeing each other romantically, or they put an end to things and salvaged their friendship before they ruined it.

Sharon knew they would need to talk about her relationship with Andrea. It was obviously creating friction between her and Andy, and the only way to put an end to it would be to discuss the issue. There was a lot to take in, she knew that, but it was certainly what needed to be done. She wanted to know how Andy felt, and she wanted him to see that what he had to say mattered to her. But at the same time, Sharon needed Andy to understand how much Andrea meant to her and what that really meant. If he could not accept that there were certain things she had grown accustomed to and would not give up, then she could not hold that against him. She would simply make the only other decision there was to be made. She and Andy would stop dating.

She had developed feelings for this man, enough to give a relationship with him a chance despite having doubts about doing so. They enjoyed each other's company and Sharon thought that Andy could possibly be someone she could grow to love. He'd found his way into her heart without her noticing it, through friendly dinners and outings together, and there was definitely _something_ there. Sharon was careful when it came to relationships and opening herself up, but she had been doing so with Andy. And while she did not regret any of it, Sharon knew if it came down to it, making the decision between a possibility with Andy and a love and connection that already existed with Andrea, there would be no hesitation when she chose Andrea.

Losing Andrea was not an option, but going back to just being Andy's friend, or even less than that, was.

...

Andrea clung to whatever small amount of sleep still remained within her reach. Her eyes stayed shut to block out the sunlight she knew had already started to fill the bedroom, not yet ready to join the rest of the world. She knew it was too early to be awake, no matter what the actual time was. She rolled over in the large bed and reached her arm out, blindly searching for Sharon's body to pull the other woman closer. Her lavender scent was in the air, in the bed sheets, and Andrea had missed waking up to it. She wanted to emerge herself in it. With her brain not yet properly functioning, and her body still not fully awake, it took her a few moments to understand why, when she swept her hand back and forth across the opposite side of the bed, her fingertips glided against cool sheets and not smooth flesh.

Deep lines grooved Andrea's face. She forced one eyelid open and roughly pushed aside the pillow that kept her from being able to see. Just as she thought, Andrea found that she was alone in the bed, no Sharon with her sleep-tousled brown hair spread out, no warm body to hold tight. That displeased the blonde greatly, and alone in the bedroom, she did not muffle her groan as she kicked at the bedding until it was no longer covering her. If there was anything Andrea hated more than waking up early on a Saturday morning, and a quick check of the time showed it wasn't even seven, it was waking up and not being able to bury her face in the crook of Sharon's neck and breathe in the scent of her sleep warm skin after spending the night with her. She'd gone so long without having it, without waking up with Sharon, that it honestly saddened her not having Sharon beside her when she knew she had been there not too long ago.

Her feet dropped heavily onto the floor when she sat up, one of her hands rubbing at her eyes as the other straightened out the tank top that had ridden up while she slept. She stretched, shoulders rolling back and forth, spine curving, and then arms reaching heavenward just before she grumpily stood, a slight pout on her lips.

The pout didn't stay on Andrea's lips long. She'd walked out towards the front of the house and ended up at the kitchen bar that overlooked the open living room with its wide windows that let the sun spill into the house. Sharon had pulled back the curtains and was now in the kitchen, her back to Andrea as she leaned against the counter in front of the coffee machine. She was still wearing the midnight blue camisole and shorts pajama set she'd slept in, and although she had brushed her hair, Sharon's thick mane was a far cry from the perfection it usually was. Sharon still looked as though she belonged in bed – _in bed with me_ , the blonde mused as she leaned against the bar and weaved her fingers through her own hair to at least guide it back so it all lay in the same direction.

Andrea hadn't been spotted yet, so she silently watched Sharon. It had been a while since she'd seen Sharon in her kitchen in the morning. She didn't know how she had forgotten how much pleasure she got from little things like seeing Sharon in her nightwear around the house. Sharon rubbed her foot over the rounded curve of her calf muscle and then stretched her arms out in a wide 'Y', her top riding up a couple of inches and exposing skin. In the grand scheme of things, there was nothing of real significance happening at that moment, nothing that warranted the attention and focus Andrea was exhibiting as her eyes followed each movement Sharon made. But she felt compelled to take it all in. She had found something satisfying about Sharon being comfortable in her house from the first time she noticed Sharon moving around as though she was at home at Andrea's place. She also liked moments like these, where Sharon was natural and unguarded.

"When I'm finished in here, I expect to find you in bed where I left you. I can't bring you coffee in bed if you're out here sneaking glimpses of me," Sharon said. Her voice was soft and amused, taking on that airy quality that Andrea knew meant she was in good spirits. She hadn't turned around to look at Andrea, so Sharon must have seen her when she first came in and decided to continue on with her tasks.

It was nearly impossible to be grumpy when Sharon was in a good mood _and_ there was a promise for coffee in the very near future. So Andrea let a small smile appear on her full lips as she lingered for a second or two longer, and then she made her way back to the bedroom. Before getting back in bed, she went into the bathroom to freshen up a little.

When she returned to her bed, it was with her hair tied up in a loose ponytail and her face feeling clean. She leaned her back against the upholstered headboard and pillows and grabbed the book on her nightstand. For as long as she could remember, Andrea had kept a book near her bed. Growing up her mother used to come in at night after getting home from work and would pull the old armchair that had belonged to Andrea's grandmother over to her bed. When she was really young, her mom had read while in bed with her, and when Andrea was learning to read, she'd read out loud to her mother. They continued this until her mother had passed away when Andrea was in her early teens, but her mother's love for literature had been passed on to Andrea, and Andrea still tried to read a little every day.

Today was a poetry day. She'd been rereading a lot of her favorite poets lately, rediscovering poems that she loved. With the smell of coffee floating in from the kitchen, and the subtle scent of lavender that Sharon left behind, Andrea's body relaxed into the pillows piled up behind her. The morning sun peeked through the small opening between the curtains and a golden glow sliced through the soft-gray shadowy room. Flipping through the pages of poetry, Andrea smiled and thought that it was a good morning. And then she heard Sharon's footsteps on the wood floor and felt her smile grow. _No, this is a perfect morning_ , she thought.

Sharon placed one mug down on her side of the bed and then walked around to put the other one down on Andrea's, the rich scent of coffee billowing out along with the steam. "Neruda?" Sharon questioned as she climbed into bed next to Andrea, _over Andrea_ , taking the spot Andrea made for the woman against her side when she raised her arm.

Andrea nodded with a small smile, displaying the front cover of ' _100 Love Sonnets'_ to Sharon. When Sharon was settled comfortably beside her, her head leaning against Andrea's shoulder as she curled into her side, she turned her head and smiled against the top of Sharon's head while breathing in. She'd warned herself about letting herself fall into this easy coziness. She knew that it would only make it more difficult to continue putting space between them when this moment ended and Sharon's relationship with Andy once again became something Andrea needed to consider more than she currently was. But warning oneself and actually stopping were not the same thing, and Sharon had given no signs that she wanted Andrea to give her space. If anything, Sharon appeared to be just as hungry for the affection they gave each other as Andrea was – and Andrea felt starved.

Sharon hummed in her throat and turned to press a quick kiss to Andrea's jaw. "Did you sleep well?"

Andrea hummed as well, "Mhmm," placing her book on her lap and carefully reaching over for her coffee. "Exceptionally well." She held the large mug close to her lips and let the steam warm her skin as the strong aroma filled her nose, her taste buds already buzzing excitedly. She took a careful sip at first, wary of the temperature, and then a deeper one. "Oh, that's good," she sighed as her eyelids fell shut and the delicious taste coated her tongue and slid down her throat. She drank some more and hummed against the rim of the large mug. "Now _that_ is definitely worth being up this early for."

Sharon laughed quietly. "It's a good thing I was already aware coffee is better appreciated than my company in the morning, or I just might be offended."

Andrea took another long drink from her mug and then placed it back on the nightstand, licking her lips. "You shouldn't be. Yours is the only company I would gladly accept when I rather be sleeping."

"That's because I know to bring you coffee," Sharon said with an audible smile. "So it's really the coffee that you want, not me."

Andrea chuckled and squeezed Sharon's hip. "Yes, definitely the coffee."

Sharon tilted her head and nipped Andrea's jaw, enough to create a small sting but hardly enough for it to actually hurt. Andrea felt a warm rush travel up her spine as she licked her lips. Sharon was always a little playful in the morning if she woke up in a good mood, and Andrea's body seemed to recognize how good of mood Sharon appeared to be in instantly.

"You're not supposed to agree with me."

"I only agreed because what you said is obviously not true. I got out of bed to look for you this morning," she said with a pointed finger poking Sharon, her tone suggesting the importance of the act.

"Ah, yes. You got out of bed and watched me make you _coffee_ ," Sharon said. "You're doing a wonderful job at proving your point, sweetheart. Keep it up."

Andrea rolled her eyes. "I got out of bed because I wanted to be near you and you weren't there," she said with a slight frown, reaching for her coffee.

Sharon lifted her head and looked at Andrea, her eyes soft as they studied Andrea's face. Sharon looked as though she was about to say something. There was a slight smile twitching at the corner of her mouth, and she was focused completely on Andrea. But then she pulled away to get her own coffee and left Andrea wondering what was going on in her head.

They let a few minutes of silence sit between them as they drank their coffees. Sharon once again looked deep in thought, but this time she stared into the light brown liquid in her mug like it held answers to all the questions Andrea could see on her friend's face but could not interpret.

Andrea put her mug down and brought her hand to Sharon's hair. She tucked it behind her ear and let her thumb trace Sharon's earlobe. When that did not gain the woman's immediate attention, Andrea twisted her lips together and breathed out quietly through her nose, dropping her hand. She leaned her head back against the headboard and continued to sit in silence, watching Sharon. She wasn't sure what exactly had caused the sudden change in Sharon's mood, but she was hoping it wasn't irreversible.

Another minute or two went by before Sharon put her mug on the nightstand and repositioned herself so she was laying with her head on Andrea's lap, looking towards her stomach. "I wanted to talk to you about something before I left," she said after taking and letting out a deep breath.

"Am I going to need more coffee for this?" she asked with a smile, hoping to make Sharon's pursed lips relax and form a smile of their own. She managed half of what she wished to accomplish; there was no smile, but Sharon did visibly relax. "What's on your mind?"

Sharon flicked her eyes up as she answered. "Us."

It was as vague as Sharon could have been, but Andrea had a feeling she was watching her for a reaction to see how to best continue. Andrea only hummed in her throat. She wasn't worried. With Sharon there were always signs that at least hinted at what to expect. Andrea knew that Sharon wouldn't have laid her head down on her lap if Sharon was about to say something she thought Andrea wouldn't want to hear. Sharon tended to guard herself – even with Andrea, although she didn't think it was a conscious decision most of the time – when she knew conversations weren't going to go well.

Andrea urged Sharon to continue with a small head nod. She took one of Sharon's hands into her own when she noticed her picking at the bottom of her camisole and ran her thumb over the woman's knuckles. Her other hand went to Sharon's hair and began stroking the silky strands, weaving through them and rolling the pads of her fingers over Sharon's scalp.

Sharon's eyelids drooped and a low throaty sound pushed passed Sharon's lips before she started to speak. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about us – you – and I thought it best to talk to you about these things instead of continuing to keep my feelings on the matter to myself."

"Okay," Andrea responded slowly, not sure where this was going but giving Sharon her full attention. "Talk to me."

Sharon licked her lips and pursed them again, but this time there was a thoughtful expression on her face. "Hmm. Well, I wanted to make sure we were on the same page with a few things. For instance, I've noticed you've been less..." Sharon paused; her brow furrowed. "Last night I told you that I missed having you touch me," she said as a small but noticeable flush of color splashed her cheeks, "and, I know you said it didn't, but I felt like what I said made you uncomfortable."

Andrea slid her fingers over Sharon's hairline and down to her temple, stroking in circles as she spoke. "I didn't freeze up on you because I was uncomfortable," Andrea said, her own eyes falling shut as her fingers worked across Sharon's skin and through her hair, alternating between the two. "I meant what I said about it being unexpected. Yeah, we've both been open about things of that nature in the past, especially me, but with recent changes in our lives–"

"Andy," Sharon stated.

Andrea nodded, although it was not a question and she had a feeling Sharon wasn't looking at her anyway. "Even if you were to miss it, I didn't expect that you would tell me. You know?"

Sharon hummed a long _hmmm._ "Would you have rather I hadn't said anything? In the future, I can–"

"No, no, no," Andrea interrupted hastily. "I don't want you to start censoring yourself with me, Sharon. Not expecting wasn't meant to be synonymous with not wanting."

"All right," Sharon responded, squeezing Andrea's hand. "So can we talk about that?"

"About me touching you?" Andrea asked, pretending to be scandalized by the very idea of the subject.

When Sharon laughed slightly, Andrea smiled and opened her eyes. Sharon was already looking at her. "I would have worded it differently, but yes."

"Of course you would have," Andrea said while rolling her eyes and grinning affectionately at the woman whose cheeks were still tinted with a light flush. The slight blush looked good on her, and Andrea considered a few things she could say to make it linger longer. But instead, Andrea chose to answer the question she hadn't responded to. "What about it would you like to talk about?"

Sharon's brow lifted, and then her eyes narrowed. "Well. Uh."

"I haven't been less physical with you because it's not something I also want, if you were worried about that," Andrea shared when Sharon continued to look at her like she wasn't sure where to start.

Sharon gave her a tiny smile. "No, I think I know _why_ you've put this distance between us. I just don't think you know that it's not something I wanted to happen. Correct me if I'm wrong," Sharon said, sitting up so she could look directly at Andrea, removing her head from her lap but leaving her hand in Andrea's. "You want to give me space to see where my relationship with Andy is going. You, being you, always considering how I'm affected by your actions, thought that it would be best if you weren't complicating things for me and Andy."

"You know, one day it's going to become really annoying that you know me so well." Andrea chuckled as she leaned her head back against the headboard and looked toward the ceiling.

Sharon hummed. Andrea shut her eyes and took a measured breath, uncertain about whether she truly wanted to say what she knew was about to come out of her mouth. She swallowed the hurt that suddenly flooded her system.

"Andy's the first person that you've wanted to date for as long as I've known you, Sharon," Andrea said slowly, her voice softer than it had been. She forced herself not to go back to the night when Sharon had told her about Andy asking her out for dinner, refused to remember all the questions that she had wanted to ask but kept to herself because she was worried the answers would hurt her too much. She refused to question ' _why him?'_ , and more importantly, ' _why not me?'_. "He must have done something right in order to get the privilege," she continued with a laugh that was a little more bitter than she intended. "So I don't want to get in the way of that. If there's a chance that this could be something meaningful for you, you deserve to be able to explore that.

"And Andy's not my biggest fan lately, as I'm sure you've noticed. Not that I blame him. When he sees us together, I think he's reminded of what he doesn't have with you – what he wants to have with you and doesn't. I understand what it's like to be in that position. The easy fix to the problem was me giving you a little space to see where things could go."

Sharon quietly took in Andrea's words, looking down at their joint hands. Andrea's stomach felt heavy; her mouth and throat were dry, and her heart thumped harshly in her chest. Sharon's free hand trembled and she clenched her fist. When she went to hide it beneath her thigh, Andrea reached forward and took it instead, soothingly rolling her thumb in circles over the back of Sharon's hand until it relaxed and the brunette sighed.

"What is it?"

Sharon took a careful breath and lifted her gaze, a sad look in her eyes. "What about you?"

"Hmm? What about me?"

"Is this something you need as well? I understand what you've said about doing this so that Andy and I have a better chance, and I appreciate you wanting to do that for me. It truly does mean a lot to me that you always try to do what's best for me. But, Andrea, I want to know if this is something you need as well. Because if it's not–"

"It is," Andrea interrupted, no longer able to look at Sharon because she wasn't being completely honest. She wasn't being honest and Sharon's eyes were glassy, and everything suddenly felt like too much. It was true that she needed this, but not for herself. She needed it for Sharon.

She could tell where the conversation was heading, and her heart was racing as her brain finished what Sharon was going to say. Sharon was going to tell her she didn't need to worry about getting in the way of her relationship with Andy, but Andrea knew that wasn't true. She knew that it wasn't true because she knew better than anyone how Andy felt. Andy had something Andrea wanted as well, something she'd been fine with not having until someone else did. Andrea knew that while Sharon may be all right with certain things, Andy wasn't, and Andrea didn't want to be the reason Sharon's relationship with him failed. Sharon was happy with Andy, and Andrea wanted that happiness for her. If a decrease in their physical interactions was the price she had to pay for putting Sharon's feelings before her own, she was okay with doing that.

"All right," Sharon whispered and pulled her hands from Andrea's.

"Sharon–"

Sharon shook her head and gave Andrea's thigh a double pat. "Let's table this conversation for now, please."

Andrea's chest tightened as she nodded and turned her head to look at Sharon, who was avoiding her eyes as she took slow breaths. "Whatever you want." Sharon snorted and laughed mirthlessly. Andrea hated the sound, hated herself because she knew she'd upset Sharon when all she wanted to do was make things easier for her.

"The only thing I want right now is to enjoy the rest of the time I have here before I need to leave to meet Rusty," Sharon said, blowing out a long breath and nodding as if she'd just made a decision. "This has been a really good morning, and I enjoyed spending last night with you. So I don't want the rest of our time together to be ruined."

Andrea nodded, reaching forward to pull Sharon's arm from around her waist. "Look at me."

"Andrea, I'm fine," Sharon said with a halfhearted smile when she lifted her head up.

She wasn't fine, Andrea knew, but she didn't comment on that.

"I want you to be happy, Sharon. More than anything, I want to know that you have things and people in your life that bring a smile to your face. That's all I want."

Sharon moved back into the side of Andrea's body like she had been before, not leaning all the way until Andrea pulled her closer. Sharon sank into Andrea's body once she seemed to be sure that it was okay. Her head leaned against Andrea's shoulder as she breathed out contently. "You're wrong, you know?"

"What about?" Andrea asked as she picked up her poetry book.

"About Andy being the first person I've wanted to date." Sharon lowered her voice, as if she wasn't sure if she should continue but wanted to anyway. "Andy was just the only person to ask me out on a date after I felt like I was in a place where dating was something I was ready for. But he definitely wasn't the only person I've thought about dating. I thought you should know that."

Andrea closed her eyes for a brief moment and pulled in a much-needed mouthful of air after feeling like all the air in her body had just been knocked out. What Sharon said reminded her of something she had said the night she'd told her about Andy's dinner invitation. _"I'm considering, but I'm not sure if I'll say yes. It's not out of a lack of interest in a romantic relationship, because I do believe I'm in a place in my life where that's something I want. I just don't want to say yes to Andy when there's another option on the table that I'm more interested in. It wouldn't be fair to him, and if I'm right about there being another option, I would want to go out on a date with the other person."_

Andrea wondered if maybe Sharon had been giving her a sign that she was interested in having more than a friendship with her. Could she have been? She'd been nervous that night, but Andrea had thought it was because it had been a long time since she'd been in the position where someone was asking her out. But maybe that wasn't what had her nervous...

Sharon gave Andrea's thigh a squeeze. "Are you okay?"

Andrea offered Sharon a small smile as she nodded and focused on the book in her hands, slackening her grip when she noticed she was squeezing it. "Yes," she whispered. She cleared her throat. "I think so."

"Too much honest conversation before 8 o'clock and your second coffee?"

Andrea chuckled, glad Sharon knew how to lighten the mood when she needed it most. "Just a little."

Sharon hummed. "Will you read a poem to me, then?" Sharon asked softly.

"Of course. Anything in particular?" she asked opening the book up to a random page.

"I'll let you decide. Surprise me."

Andrea flipped through the pages until she found the one she was looking for, and then she cleared her throat and began:

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

.

I love you as the plant that never blooms

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way

.

than this: where _I_ does not exist, nor _you_ ,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

Andrea let the last two stanzas of the poem float out from somewhere deep inside her chest, the words seeming to spill from her own heart instead of the page before her. She felt them as though they were a part of her, tasted them like a familiar wine, breathed out the emotions that intertwined with the lines as though it was the air from her very lungs. _I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where._ It was not Pablo Neruda whose love was filling the serene, private bubble they laid together in but Andrea's, Andrea's unremitting love for Sharon.

The poem as a whole was one Andrea loved dearly, but the last three lines in particular resonated with her. She repeated them in her head as she shifted her eyes to look at Sharon. Sharon had closed her eyes and a small smile was on her lips, her face relaxing, all signs of the sadness that had been etched into her face gone.

"Another one," she requested softly, and Andrea searched for another.

"I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.

Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.

Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day

I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

.

I hunger for your sleek laugh..."

 _to be continued..._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** One more chapter and then we'll get our favorite ladies interacting with other people again. I wanted to give you guys a little more of their history, and perhaps a better understanding of Sharon's feelings for Andrea. Also more insight on how Sharon's been feeling about her relationship with Andy... because Sharon's got a decision to make, and it isn't one that can be made overnight. Hope y'all enjoy it! And thanks so much for your continued interest in this story. :)

5.

The wind had been vicious the night Andrea told Sharon that she was done dating. Sharon hadn't thought she heard her properly at first. They'd been walking towards the car from the museum they'd spent hours looking around when Andrea had finally started filling Sharon in on what had been on her mind that she had not wanted to think about when she asked Sharon if she would like to spend the day with her. The air had whipped around them, loud and harsh, and Sharon had needed to hold Andrea's arm and pull Andrea close to her so she could make out the words being said to her.

 _"She said it's unnatural to feel so strongly for a friend."_ Andrea had been angry when Sharon arrived at her house that morning, but she had not wanted to talk about it at the time. Sharon had taken her friend out for breakfast, and then they spent the day walking through a park they frequented. They had a late lunch and then went to a museum that was close by, doing anything to keep Andrea from having to think about what had made her so upset that morning. _"Unnatural, like there's something wrong with loving someone."_

Sharon found herself remembering bits and pieces of that night quite often lately. Getting dressed in Andrea's bathroom, Sharon frowned at her reflection and tried to clear the thoughts from her mind. She had spent her entire shower worrying about how her next conversation with Andy would go, knowing that she would have to be as open as she possibly could about the role Andrea played in her life. Andrea had told Sharon that she would no longer be dating because each person she had dated while being Sharon's friend had thought they were too close, and Sharon couldn't help but compare Andrea's exes to Andy.

Andy felt the same way, she knew, and he didn't even know _how_ close the two of them really were. They were closest when others weren't around to witness it, connected in ways that could not be seen by the naked eye, so there was no way for him to have known without Andrea or herself telling him. So she had to wonder how he would feel after their conversation. Would having this conversation only make things worse, or was the only way Andy would be able to understand was if Sharon laid everything out on the table for him?

Sharon straightened out her gray cotton shirt and buttoned her jeans, sighing to herself.

 _"If I ever look at another woman like I might be interested, I'm counting on you to remind me that I don't want to go through this again. I have the career I want, a great family that I love, even though they are about as dysfunctional as it gets, and there are plenty of animals out there to adopt if I ever get lonely."_

 _"And you have me,"_ Sharon remembered saying to Andrea, the words leaving her mouth so very carefully but carrying so much meaning. Andrea's eyes had been positively glowing, her smile the most beautiful thing Sharon had ever seen. _"Yes. And I have you."_

When she told Andrea she had her, she meant it. Andrea had been an incredible friend to her, and she had no intention of leaving Andrea's life. That was nearly five years ago; Sharon felt that if she were to say those same words to Andrea now, they wouldn't hold the same meaning. Their connection was certainly stronger now than it had been at that time, and they'd experienced more of life together. Sharon had given a great deal of herself to Andrea over the course of their friendship, but she still caught herself wondering if Andrea fully understood how big of a deal that was for Sharon.

Andrea had understood why Sharon had chosen not to date – the marriage she had still legally been in, the issues Jack had caused in her life that she wanted to rid herself of, and a few smaller reasons – but understanding how much it meant to Sharon to trust someone as much as she trusted Andrea wasn't as simple. On some levels, of course, Andrea knew how difficult Sharon found opening herself up to be. She'd spoken to Andrea about Jack's dishonesty when he was struggling with his addictions and she had been trying to help him get through the rough times, told her how he'd left her feeling used and taken advantage of countless of times. Sharon had been hurt badly during their marriage, and Andrea had known that from early on in their friendship. So, yes, Andrea knew Sharon did not trust easily, but Sharon didn't think Andrea knew that she hadn't even trusted Jack the way she trusted Andrea after their ten years of friendship.

Andrea gave more freely than Sharon had in the beginning, but she never pried or pushed for more from Sharon. It was because she didn't do those things that Sharon had slowly let Andrea in. She had undressed her soul for Andrea and felt comfortable doing so. Andrea had always held up each layer Sharon removed as an offering for Sharon to take back and put back on if she needed to, as if to say that there was no rush and she could reveal however little she wanted. That had made Sharon feel safe with Andrea. One day it had gotten to the point where she was bare and wanted nothing more than for Andrea's eyes to be on her. She wanted to be seen by her, wanted Andrea to _know_ her, to learn everything there was to learn.

To be naked and unafraid of letting someone see the scars that marked your soul was the ultimate level of trust, and that was Sharon's way of giving herself to Andrea.

 _"You can have all of me,"_ Andrea's voice whispered in her mind, words she had heard the night before as she laid in Andrea's arms, and Sharon wondered not for the first time since last night if Andrea really meant that. All of her. What did all of her include, she wondered, because Sharon already felt as though Andrea had been given all of _her_ and didn't want to assume she knew what else Andrea would give to Sharon.

Sharon rubbed her temples and felt her stomach twisting uncomfortably, knotting like rope, and she knew she needed to stop her mind from going down the well-traveled road it knew so well. The more she thought about Andrea, the harder it was to remember that she wanted things to work out with Andy. A nasty wave of guilt rushed through her. Andy's face appeared in her mind, his adoring eyes and boyish yet handsome grin, and Sharon's heart tightened in her chest. She shouldn't need to remind herself that she wanted to be with Andy. Sharon knew that wasn't how it should be. But there she was thinking about Andrea and filling her mind with hopes she had given up on three months ago.

Sharon spent a lot of time feeling guilty for things she wanted and her actions lately. It weighed her down that morning and made her body feel tired despite having spent the night sleeping marvelously. She knew there were things she needed to work through, feelings that were buried deeper than she was willing to visit right now. She was confident that if she sat down and looked at her innermost thoughts and deepest emotions that she would find a way to shrug off the guilt that tried consuming her. But Sharon also knew she wasn't ready to confront what was waiting there for her, not yet, not again. After all, it was hidden there for a reason.

. . .

Andrea was in the kitchen, eating a cinnamon roll when Sharon came looking for her. "Want?" she asked, holding up the bitten icing-covered roll as she leaned over the bar. Sharon's nose scrunched up in that way that made Andrea want to lean forward and kiss the small wrinkles at the bridge of Sharon's nose. She licked the sweetness from the inside of her cheek and quickly pushed away that urge, though.

"Not unless it comes with a magic pill that keeps me from needing to visit the gym to work off all the sugar I would be putting into my body," Sharon responded from the other end of the bar.

Andrea rolled her eyes and took a large bite from her cinnamon roll, moaning around it dramatically.

Sharon licked her lips and shook her head, unamused. "Would you like me to leave you alone with that?"

Andrea laughed after swallowing. She sucked her thumb clean and let her eyes travel over Sharon's body. Why she was even a little concerned about visits to the gym was beyond Andrea. Sharon had an incredible figure, and in jeans that clung to the shapely curve of her ass and showed off her lean thighs, Andrea had a hard time looking away from it. That, however, seemed to amuse Sharon.

"So which one of us is going to inform your cinnamon roll that it now has competition?" Sharon asked as she crossed the distance that separated the two of them, knocking her shoulder into Andrea's. When Andrea hummed, confused, Sharon laughed softly and licked her lips. Her voice lowered as she spoke, a little husky. "Well, it's just that you were starting to look at me like you wanted to _eat me_ , Andrea."

Andrea knew her cheeks were tinted red, could feel the heat crawling up her neck. But she did not look away from Sharon, instead choosing to let her eyes slowly move over the other woman as she licked her lips. She hummed in her throat and let her eyes linger on a few of her favorite places on Sharon's body before looking into the woman's eyes, green eyes that flashed with something that moved too quickly for Andrea to identify before the other woman was raising her brow and trying to hold back a smirk.

She was ready to say something about how she bet Sharon would be an even tastier morning treat or something else that would make Sharon blush so she wasn't the only one doing so, but she lost her nerve when she saw Sharon's eyes drop down to her mouth and Sharon's tongue sneak out to dampen her lips. She was reminded that she was playing with fire, and she was already hot enough.

She cleared her throat and pushed her nearly-finished cinnamon roll to Sharon, giving her hip a squeeze as she walked around her. "It's two bites. Your body has nothing to worry about, trust me," she said, and then she left Sharon alone in the kitchen.

. . .

Sharon waited in the kitchen for close to five minutes before she let out a small breath and decided to go find out what had just happened that she clearly missed since she didn't understand why Andrea had left. Something had gone wrong in the matter of seconds, and Sharon wasn't sure what it was. She would be leaving soon, and she didn't want to leave with them not being all right.

She didn't think it was what she had said that had caused Andrea to disappear like she had. No, that couldn't have been it. Andrea had responded to Sharon calling her out for the way she was looking at her by continuing to let her eyes rove over Sharon's body. Sharon had even noticed a slight change in Andrea's breathing as she did so, a more noticeable rise and fall of her chest while she traced Sharon's hips with her eyes as though she could feel the flesh beneath the clothes and wanted to paint it with words of not-so-hidden desires.

It wasn't as if this was the first time Andrea had checked her out and Sharon teased her about it. Andrea enjoyed looking at her body, this Sharon had known for years. It had never been an issue before, but she had to wonder if perhaps that was just another thing that would be added to the list of changes between them. Perhaps she should have wanted that, if only for Andy's sake, but she didn't. If Andrea wanted to check her out, Sharon didn't want her to stop herself from doing so. Besides, Sharon liked the way it felt to have Andrea's eyes on her.

 _(Andy. Andy. Andy. Andy. You're dating Andy.)_

Sharon found Andrea in her home office, neatening a bookshelf. And if Sharon hadn't known something was wrong before, she would certainly know now. "Need a hand?" Sharon asked from the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb and smiling softly at her friend. She wouldn't enter the room, not yet.

Andrea flicked her eyes up from the large bookcase and shook her head in the negative. "I was putting a book up and then noticed it's been a while since I straightened these out," she said as she slid a book into place and it hit the wood with a _thunk_. "I didn't mean to take so long."

Sharon hummed, simply watching Andrea as she dusted her hands off and stood up from the floor. Andrea tucked her hair behind her ear and looked around the office, at the desk against the opposite wall, the file cabinets with photographs on their sides, the rug Sharon helped her pick out a few years ago. She looked everywhere but at Sharon.

Sharon knew it was up to her to say something. They'd been hitting too many walls in the last 24-hours. They'd always been comfortable with each other, able to discuss almost anything, so this wasn't something Sharon was used to. However, she could tell that something was clearly going on inside of Andrea's head and it didn't appear to be something she was going to share with Sharon on her own. Sharon would just broach the topic instead. She would find out why Andrea had left the kitchen so suddenly.

But before Sharon had figured out what she should say, Andrea broke her silence. Her question, however, came as a shock to Sharon and didn't seem to have anything to do with her abrupt departure from the kitchen.

"Why didn't we ever talk about it, when you decided that you wanted to see other pe- - when you decided you would consider dating someone? That feels like something we would have spoken about, but I didn't find out about it until you were telling me Lieutenant Flynn asked you out."

Andrea rested against the edge of her desk with her legs stretched out, ankles crossed, and Sharon found a sudden interest in the blonde's feet as she tried to calm the sudden rush of her heartbeat. Andrea sounded curious and uncertain, but there was a small amount of hurt she knew Andrea was trying to keep hidden in her tone. Sharon picked it up, of course, but she wasn't sure how to respond to the question and make whatever doubt or pain Andrea was feeling disappear at the same time. Her arm wrapped around her middle and she straightened up against the doorjamb, her fingers curling into her side.

Sharon carefully brought her eyes up to meet Andrea's patient ones. "I don't think there was any specific moment before that conversation that I realized that it was something I wanted," Sharon answered honestly, slowly, trying to remember exactly when she knew that she felt ready for everything that came with dating. She'd considered dating before then, but considering it and being ready were not the same thing. "I'd been more than happy with the way things were in my life, honestly."

A small smile graced Andrea's full lips, but it only lasted for a mere second before Andrea frowned at something and ran her fingers through her hair, pulling out the elastic that kept it back. "But it wasn't enough."

Sharon's stomach churned. That sounded a whole lot like 'I wasn't enough', and Sharon hated thinking that Andrea actually believed that. "Andrea."

Andrea shook her head and gave Sharon a smile that was clearly forced. "I didn't mean for that to sound like an accusation. I'm just trying to figure everything out."

"Everything?" Sharon questioned slowly.

Andrea made an odd hand gesture as she said, "You and Andy. You and me." Andrea nibbled on her bottom lip and looked away for a second, and then she sighed. "That's why I've been in here so long. I started thinking and, well, I have more questions than I do answers right now."

Sharon hmmed and looked around the office before entering it, not going all the way over to the desk but taking a seat on the armchair that Andrea liked to use to read in when she was in this room. "Maybe I can give you the answers you're looking for."

Andrea turned so she was facing Sharon, eyeing her for several heartbeats before speaking. "When did it stop being enough?" she asked, hesitant, her eyes full of something Sharon saw very little of so was unable to easily put a name to. "When did you realize you wanted more than what you and I had, more than what I could give you?" It sounded like something she'd been battling with for a lot longer than she had been in this room.

Sharon's heart ached as Andrea looked at her, waiting for an answer that Sharon didn't think she could give. Andrea's friendship meant the world to her, and that had never stopped being enough. It was more than enough, it was the most important relationship in her life when she excluded her children from the equation. But she also understood why Andrea might have felt like Sharon didn't look at it that way. And, in a way, Andrea was right. Not about what they had not being enough, but about her wanting more. But she had wanted more from Andrea. It wasn't about someone else giving her something Andrea wasn't, it was about wanting more from Andrea. But that was something she couldn't have, and she had accepted it and was grateful to have Andrea in her life in the ways she did.

"Sharon?" Andrea questioned softly.

"Sorry," she replied, trying for a smile but not feeling her lips form it. She shook her thoughts out of her head and straightened up in the seat, slipping her hands underneath her thighs when she noticed she'd been twisting them together. "Uhm. I- -" Sharon dampened her lips and chose her words carefully. "Do you remember the night you told me you didn't think you would be entering another romantic relationship again?"

When Andrea nodded, slightly confused expression on her face, Sharon continued.

"That was also the first time you told me that you would always put me first. I don't know if you knew at the time how much that meant to me, or how true it would come to be, but from that day, not only did you always make me a priority, but I also knew that I would do the same. So, when did what we have stop being enough? It never did. I might have made the choice to date Andy, but that had nothing to do with us, or you, not being enough."

Andrea took a moment and then nodded her head slowly, seeming to accept what Sharon had said. "You know, I always knew there was a possibility that there was someone out there who would do something right to make you consider dating again. But..." Andrea shook her head as a quiet chuckle left her mouth. "I wasn't expecting it would be Andy Flynn."

 _It wasn't_ , Sharon thought with a sad smile.

 _"What are you doing?" Sharon asked through her laughter as Andrea left her on the sidewalk and started hurrying across the street as the seconds counted down before the light would change._

 _"I'll be right back," she shouted, jogging away and disappearing into the crowd of people on the other side of the street._

 _Sharon pulled her bottom lip into her mouth to help control the wide smile that had taken over her face. She moved out of the way of people passing by and stood close to the diner they'd just exited, waiting for Andrea to return to her. As she waited, Sharon checked her email and text messages, busying herself with her phone._

 _Vibrant pinks and reds and soft whites met her eyes a few minutes later, a bouquet of flowers, calla lilies and roses, being held in front of her. "Back," Andrea said, breathing a little rushed, but it was nothing compared to the quick beating of Sharon's heart as she looked over her phone and to the flowers and the woman holding them. "Hope you didn't miss me too much. These are for you."_

 _"You..." Sharon swallowed. "You bought me flowers?"_

 _Andrea looked at the flowers, at Sharon, and then back at the flowers as she said, "It looks like I did. They're your favorite, too."_

 _"They are," Sharon said breathlessly as her smile slipped back on to her face, her eyes holding Andrea's. "What did– Why..."_

 _Andrea took Sharon's phone from her hand and pushed the flowers into it instead. "No reason. I noticed the florist while we were eating, and I thought you might like them."_

 _"Flowers for no reason," Sharon said slowly._

 _"Flowers to make you smile."_

"But Andy makes you happy," Andrea said, pulling Sharon away from her thoughts. It sounded strangely like a reminder, like the same reminders Sharon gave herself sometimes.

"You keep bringing up my happiness as if I was unhappy before I started dating Andy."

Andrea only hummed and pushed herself up from the desk, walking over to the window to look out to the backyard.

Sharon got up as well, needing to make something clear to Andrea because she was feeling less and less certain Andrea already knew what she had to say. She stood behind the blonde and let her chin rest on Andrea's strong shoulder, looking out the window with her until Sharon felt Andrea relax against her body. Andrea reached behind her and took Sharon's hand into her own, her warm palm sliding over the back of Sharon's hand. She gave it a long squeeze, holding it tightly and then wrapping Sharon's arm around her.

"You brought so much happiness into my life, Andrea," she said softly, speaking close to her ear. "You reminded me how much fun life could be after I had let myself forget. You came into my life at a time when everything I knew was changing, the kids were both out of the house most of the year, and there was an...emptiness that I didn't know I wanted to be filled until you had already done so. I don't want you to ever forget that it was you who made me laugh and smile all those times I felt like it would have just been easier to bury myself in work to avoid going through certain things in life.

"It was never about grand gestures with you. You were _there_ for me when I needed you, and you did small things every day that made me extremely happy. _You_ make me happy, Andrea." She turned her head and let her lips brush behind Andrea's ear carefully, gently. "I am happier than I've ever been with anyone else when I'm with you."

Andrea exhaled a shaky breath and slid her fingers between Sharon's. "Stay with me a little longer, just like this," she requested, leaning back into Sharon and letting her hold some of her weight.

Sharon wrapped her other arm around Andrea and held her close.

"I'm happiest with you as well, and when I know that you're happy."

Sharon leaned her head against Andrea's and smiled. "I'm happy right here," she whispered.

"So am I."

. . .

Andrea walked into her bedroom once Sharon was gone. The bed was unmade, the sheets rumpled and the pillows scattered across the top. She felt a familiar tug in her chest as she climbed into the bed and pulled one of the pillows to her face. _Lavender._ She breathed in and closed her eyes, letting the smell of Sharon fill her body as she clung to the pillow and the feeling of being surrounded by Sharon.

She wondered if she would be given any more chances to hold Sharon like she had the night before. She knew she shouldn't, but she hoped for more nights of being able to feel Sharon's body pressed against her own as they slept peacefully. If she couldn't have that ever again, she hoped that the burning want she felt would die down soon, or else she would soon be burnt to a crisp.

 _to be continued..._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** It's hard seeing Morales as anything other than Morales, so I tend to switch between his last and first name because it still feels weird actually _knowing_ his first name.

6.

"And I'm thinking about dropping out of school and joining the circus."

Sharon's eyebrows shot up quickly, the spoon in her hand slipping and clinking loudly against her bowl of oatmeal. Across the restaurant table from her, Rusty laughed as he brought his coffee to his mouth.

"You're thinking of doing _what?"_

"So you're still in there after all," he said with a little upturn to his lip, and then he drank from his coffee and studied her while doing so.

Sharon used her napkin to wipe up the small mess of oatmeal on the table and then pushed the white dishes away from her and brought her tea closer, her hand wrapping around the heated ceramic. "I'm sorry," she said with a heavy sigh. "I've been distracted, haven't I? Please, continue telling me about your discoveries."

Rusty smiled at her and shook his head. "That was basically everything. I mean," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "I'm still trying to figure out what the story I want to tell is at this point. I just thought– I thought you'd be interested in what research I'd already done."

"Oh, I am. Of course," she said with a quick nod and an easy smile. "Thank you for sharing with me. I see you're already making great progress. And I must say, how much you've learned these past few months is reflective in your work. You're making very professional choices, going about certain things in a different way than you would have a few months ago. That's very good, Rusty."

Rusty hid his mouth behind his mug, but Sharon could still see the way he smiled at the small praise. He wasn't the best at accepting compliments, so Sharon tried not to bury him in them like she knew she sometimes could with her children. She was just so proud of him. She loved seeing how much he could accomplish when he put his heart into what he was doing, loved his dedication and focus. Whether it was work for one of his journalism courses or for something that he worked on on his own, Sharon could always tell he was serious about his work and getting answers. She couldn't help letting him know every now and then how proud she was, nor could she stop herself from reminding him how talented he was.

Rusty cleared his throat and put his coffee down, and Sharon let her beaming smile relax into a smaller one. He leaned forward, arms on the table. "Well now that that's out of the way," he said with a dramatic breath, "we should talk about you."

Amusement twinkled in Sharon's eyes as she looked at her son. "We should?"

"Well, yeah." Rusty spoke slowly. "There's gotta be something new going on that you want to talk about. Like..." He shrugged his shoulders again, and if she couldn't tell he was holding back a familiar half-smile, she would think he had very little interest in what he was saying, in the conversation he was trying to initiate. But Sharon could see through his faked neutrality. "Maybe a movie night that went really well. Or I-I don't know. Maybe something else. You would know better than me."

Sharon shook her head as she laughed, leaning back in her chair with her arms loosely crossed. "Since when are you so interested in my personal life?"

Rusty seemed to actually think it over, his eyes moving around the restaurant and his brow furrowing before he looked back at her. "I don't know. I guess I've just noticed some things lately that make me wonder..."

"Wonder," Sharon repeated carefully, questioning with only a tilt to her head.

"Like, how you were lost in thought when I got here and looked like you were in a really good mood, even before you saw me. Which means it must have been about whatever you were thinking about, right?! And, and how you haven't said a thing about Flynn recently even though you're dating him now – which hasn't really been going anywhere from the looks of it. But the other night you brought up Andrea five times, five, when we were talking about Christmas plans for this year - and that conversation was less than ten minutes long.

"And she used to come over, like, all the time, but now she doesn't. And last night you got to spend time with her, and now you're looking happier than you have been lately. There's a connection there. So it's only natural that I wonder how things are going for you, don't you think? Isn't this what families do? Talk about their lives and stuff."

Sharon's stomach twisted into tight knots as she cleared her throat and smoothed her hands down her thighs. The uncertainty that filled Rusty's voice when he questioned about "normal behaviors" of families caused a pang of sadness deep in Sharon's chest. She could see that he had concerns about not acting the proper way in familial situations, was still unaccustomed to certain things, and she wanted to stop him from worrying. She wanted to pull him into a hug and tell him that the only thing he needed to worry about was being himself.

She smiled at him, placing her hand on the arm that rested on the table. She gave it a long squeeze over the soft material of his navy cardigan and nodded her head. "If that's what you want, yes, of course."

"It is," Rusty said simply, and then lifted his brow as if to tell her that he was waiting for her to respond to what he had brought up.

There was just so much that had been said, though, that Sharon was not sure what she was meant to respond to. One thing did stick out to her, however, and she chose to comment on that particular topic.

"You know that you can spend time with Andrea on your own, right? I know she comes over less often than she used to, but that in no way has to impact the relationship between the two of you."

Rusty looked confused for a moment. "I know that. Andrea and I went to the movies together two weeks ago to see–"

"You did?" Sharon inquired in a surprised tone. Why hadn't they invited her, she wondered, feeling a little left out. She was just telling Rusty how he could spend time with Andrea by himself, but there she was feeling like she missed out on something when he did just that.

Rusty shrugged his shoulders a little while saying, "Yeah. You got called in for a case, and I knew she'd been wanting to see the movie. I did too, so we went together and had lunch. No big deal."

"Oh."

Rusty had a way of smiling that made it seem like he knew everyone's secrets, and whenever he smiled at Sharon like that, part of her thought that he just might. "That was why she came over for dinner the following night. She thought a 'family dinner' would make up for us not bringing you with us."

"Oh," Sharon repeated from earlier, this time the single syllable stretching out into a long breath.

"Mmhmm." Rusty watched her over the rim of his coffee and waited for Sharon to meet his eyes before putting his mug down. "But we're not talking about me. It's, like, _all_ anyone ever wants to talk about."

"No, we're discussing..."

"Your good mood."

Sharon hummed, looking down into her tea. "Andrea and I did enjoy ourselves last night, yes. I left her house this morning in a much better mood than I had been in when I arrived there."

"Do I even want to know what that means?" he asked, sounding both grossed out and amused.

Sharon did her best not to pale at the insinuation he was making and chose to lift her eyes to glare at him instead, not too deathly, just enough to let him know she didn't want to hear any joking or teasing about her and Andrea's relationship at the moment. Thankfully, Rusty knew when to back off when warned and didn't say anything else on the matter.

"Everyone needs a little downtime, even you. _Especially_ you."

It amazed her how sincere he could be, and surprised her sometimes how aware he was of some things. She hummed and smiled at him, nodding her head in agreement.

"So," he dragged out, "you spent the night with Andrea and now you're in a better mood than I've seen you in in months. Are you seeing the connection yet?" he asked in a way that only Rusty could make sound impatient, hopeful, and curious at the same time.

Sharon felt that same tingling down her spine that she felt whenever Rusty would give her and Andrea _that look_ when they were doing something he considered "stupidly domestic", that look of smug superiority, the one that said he knew something they didn't.

The connection. Of course she saw it. There was no denying that she was generally in a better mood when around Andrea, just like coming home to her son put her in a good mood after a difficult case. Family was important to her, and spending time with those she considered family worked wonders for her state of mind. But Sharon had a feeling that wasn't exactly what Rusty was getting at.

So Sharon simply replied, "Perhaps," and considered what else he could have meant.

. . .

"I thought you and Sharon would be arriving together," Fernando said as he shut his front door after letting Andrea in, closing out the autumn night air.

"Don't sound so disappointed to see me."

He gave her an exaggerated eye roll while taking the pan that held the blueberry crumble she was handing over to him. He peeked under the cover, nodded his approval, and then let a brilliant grin take over his face. "I'm glad you could make it, Andrea. Better?" he asked with a wink, to which Andrea responded with a simple nod of her head. "I'm also glad at least one of you made it on time."

Andrea looked around the empty bungalow as she removed her lightweight jacket. "She had an emergency she needed to take care of. We spoke on the phone less than twenty minutes ago and she was stuck in traffic, but I'm sure she'll be here soon. Where's Anthony?"

"You should have passed him on your way in. He was moving things from his truck to my garage. Easels and paint, I don't know."

"Is he moving in already?" Andrea joked, only a little worried that that might actually be the reason why Fernando's boyfriend was storing things in his garage. She straightened out her sleeveless cranberry blouse with a smooth sweep of her hand.

They walked past the living room and into the large, open eat-in kitchen that smelled heavenly as Morales let out a floaty chuckle. "Heavens no. We're having a get together in a couple of weeks with a few friends, and we're just getting things in order." He picked up an apron that had been tossed over a chair and put it on, tying it behind him as he moved through the kitchen. "He's testing out a new model for a private class he teaches once a week, and he thought this would be a fun way to do it."

Andrea listened and added in small comments here and there as he went on, talking about Anthony and art and how fabulous he was. Andrea had very little interest in art history, which Anthony taught, but she had always loved visual arts. She found herself more intrigued when Fernando told her about the private classes he had in his studio across town – Anthony was also a painter, and that was the focus of his private classes – but her attention was really being given to the food Fernando was preparing.

"What are you cooking? And please tell me you're going to teach me how to make it," she had said, interrupting him as her stomach rumbled hungrily from the delicious aroma.

Fernando had moved past her and to the stove, laughing. "Paella de marisco," he said with flourish, grinning, "seafood paella."

"It smells great!" After sampling the rice and seafood dish, Andrea could only groan and give him a double thumbs up, her taste buds flooded with the mouthwatering flavors. "I'll give you any recipe you want from the box if you teach me how to make that."

"Hmm. Tempting. I'll think about it."

The box mentioned was her stash of recipes that she rarely ever shared with anyone, her specialties and dishes she had perfected from experimenting with recipes that were only mediocre when she discovered them. He'd been after a few of them for years now, but this was the first time he had something she wanted badly enough to offer a trade. She preferred to learn from other cooks if the dish was completely unfamiliar to her, and this was something she'd much rather he first teach her before she went at it on her own.

Andrea was getting wine glasses for Fernando when he started talking about Anthony staying over for the weekends, and the glass in her hand nearly fell down to the floor as she spun around to look at him with shocked eyes. "You are moving him in," she accused. "Slowly, yeah, but I know how you operate. I've seen this before. You're moving him in with you."

He shushed her, swatting her arm with the dish towel as he leaned against the counter. "Would you stop yelling?! And don't even give me that judging look," he said with a pointed finger and serious eyes that made her relax her face. "At least I'm dating the person who I invite to sleep in my bed. You've been having sleepovers with the woman _you're in love with_ for years without making the relationship you're so obviously in official, but you don't see me judging you. In fact, I am one of your biggest supporters."

"Oh, no, no, no." Andrea rolled her eyes. "We are _not_ going there. This is about you and the faster-than-light speed you move with men."

"Please, it's been four months and we've spent two weekends together. I remember a certain poet staying at your apartment for an entire week after you two had only known each other for half the amount of time Anthony and I have been in a relationship."

"First of all, I was in my twenties. Secondly, _I_ don't have a terrible track record with the people I date turning out to be moochers." Andrea lowered her voice a bit at the end to soften the blow. "I don't want to see you hurt, that's all."

"You don't need to worry about that. Anthony is nothing like Chris," he said, dismissing the conversation with a wave of his hand. There would be no talk about exes.

"So when do I get to meet Mr. Fantastic, anyway?"

Then, as if he'd been waiting for the question to be asked, Anthony came walking into the open kitchen through the side door. "There you are," Fernando said as he crossed over to the door and kissed the cheek of the tall man who was entering the room.

Andrea looked at the couple, leaning against the corner of the L-shaped counter with her hands wrapped around the edge. Anthony waved his hand in greeting and gave Andrea a winning smile that went all the way up to his warm brown eyes and crinkled his otherwise smooth-looking tan skin.

"You must be Andrea," he said with a familiar accent that sounded as though it had weakened from years of living in California.

"And you must be Anthony," she said with a smile, reaching out a hand to shake his when he came over to her. Instead, she was pulled into a friendly hug that surprised her. Her surprise did not stop her from easily reciprocating the embrace. She had her large family to thank for how quickly she moved to return the hug, having grown up with huggers who had often pulled her into sudden hugs. He smelt how she imagined an art supply closet smelt, like paint and minerals and something sharp, but there was a woodsy scent beneath that she enjoyed. "From Boston, if I'm picking up the very faint accent correctly."

He chuckled deeply as they separated, nodding his head. "Woburn, actually. But very good."

"I lived there for five or six years back in the nineties before I came out here – in Boston, I mean." There was a commotion coming from over Anthony's shoulder, and Andrea looked past him to see Sharon had come in through the side door, carrying two cloth totes holding bottles of wine. She felt herself smiling as she watched, head tilting to the side.

"Here, let me help you with that," Anthony said as he left Andrea and went to give Sharon a hand.

"Oh," Sharon said with a small jump as he hefted the bags from her hands and guided her fully into the kitchen at the same time. "Oh, wow. Thank you."

"Sharon," Fernando said as he, just as Anthony had done, albeit less careful with his hand placement than Anthony was as he blindly pushed, guided Sharon all the way in from the small entryway off to the side of the kitchen, "this is Anthony. Anthony, Sharon."

"We met outside," Sharon said, giving Anthony a thankful smile as he put the wine in the fridge.

"I would have waited if I'd known you were bringing things in."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I had to take a quick phone call, anyway. I do appreciate the help, though," she said meaningfully, giving both Fernando and Andrea pointed looks.

"I'm handling food," he responded as an excuse, making Sharon turn to look at her with a challenging brow lift.

Andrea pushed herself away from the counter and smiled. "Anthony beat me to it."

Sharon rolled her eyes and started unbuttoning her jacket. "Of course he did. He didn't have to move very fast to beat you somewhere you had no intention of ever reaching." She nodded her head as she walked out to the living room, and Andrea followed one step behind her. "How long have you been here?"

"Not long," Andrea answered, pulling Sharon's jacket from her hand to hang it on the coat rack for her. "A little over ten minutes. I hit a little traffic on my way as well." Sharon hummed. "So is everything all right? Rusty okay?"

"Oh," Sharon said, running her fingers through her hair as she checked it in the mirror, "yes. The car needed to stay at the shop overnight, though, so I had to drive him home and his plans for the night are most likely going to fall through now. I had considered letting him borrow my car, but..."

"I would have still picked you up if you wanted to leave your car with him."

Sharon smiled at Andrea in the mirror and then opened her purse and pulled out her lipstick, holding Andrea's eyes as she spoke. "I know you would have, which is exactly why I told you I would drive. I didn't know when we would be finished, and I didn't want to make you wait for me indefinitely. Then we would have both shown up late."

Andrea decided to just let the topic drop as she reached forward and fixed a few strands of Sharon's hair in the back that she had missed, combing through her thick hair and righting the loose curls. "And everything's okay with…everything else?" When Sharon raised her brow, applying a fresh coat of lipstick to her lips, Andrea tilted her head towards the kitchen. "Phone call. You looked a little frazzled when you came in. Just making sure everything's all right."

"Oh, that was just Andy."

"Oh, o-kay." Andrea backed away from Sharon and waited for her to finish up.

Sharon capped her lipstick and then spun around, putting the items she had removed from her purse up as she eyed Andrea. "He wanted to see when I would be available to talk." Sharon volunteered the information as though Andrea needed to know it – or perhaps like Sharon needed her to be aware of the reason for the call, as if the person Sharon was dating needed a reason to be calling her. "I told him now wasn't a good time. I suggested we speak in person, anyway, as I would like to discuss a few things with him as well."

"The look in your eyes suggests it's not going to be a pleasant conversation..."

Sharon scrunched up her face a little as she looked off into the distance. "The outcome of the conversation is dependent on how Andy reacts to what I have to say. Whether or not the conversation itself goes well isn't something I can predict, but I do hope he'll keep an open mind when we do get a chance to–"

"I did not invite the two of you here to have private conversations in my foyer," Fernando shouted from the kitchen, interrupting Sharon.

They shared an eye roll and a head shake. "We were on our way back in there," Andrea said, guiding them towards the kitchen with her hand on Sharon's back.

"You were doing no such thing," he said when they walked in, giving them judging looks while Anthony bumped his hip into Fernando's and whispered something she could not make out. It made the shorter man smile wickedly, his eyes fixing on Sharon's mouth.

Andrea turned to look too, brows knitted.

Sharon looked from one of her friends to the other. "Is there a reason you're both staring at me?"

Anthony rolled his eyes and walked over to Sharon, placing his hand on her shoulder and shaking his head. "Let's go sit down before he starts making wild assumptions – and be thankful you were too far away to hear the monologue I just had to endure."

"They're not so wild when she comes back in here with recently applied lipstick," Fernando mumbled under his breath as he went to the fridge.

Andrea watched Sharon's eyes widen and laughed a little to herself, following her and Anthony to the table. "You're too invested in our relationship, Morales."

"Stop leaving the room together all the time to be alone and maybe I'd lose interest."

. . .

Sharon was drinking from her wine when Anthony stopped the story he'd been telling about one of his classes earlier in the week and bobbed his pointed forefinger from her to Andrea while squinting slightly. "Okay, so what's the story here?"

"The story?" Andrea questioned back.

"Yeah. There's a story, I can tell from a mile away. You're too..."

"Too what?" Sharon asked, her guard going up a little as she straightened her spine. Anthony had been friendly and funny, and knew how to keep people entertained throughout the night, but she felt her skin prickle at the unfinished statement.

Andrea covered Sharon's hand with her own on top of the table and leaned a couple inches forward. "Too what?" Andrea echoed, more patient than Sharon realized she had sounded when she asked.

Morales looked down at Andrea's hand on hers and then shook his head. "He didn't mean anything bad, did you Anthony?"

"Oh, of course not. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't," Andrea said immediately.

Fernando gave her a disbelieving look and glanced down to their hands again, and Sharon untucked her thumb and brushed it against Andrea's palm. Sharon understood what he was silently saying, for she was familiar with Andrea's gestures and also recognized the protective way she moved closer to Anthony as if blocking his comments from going directly to her. It was something she didn't think Andrea was aware of herself most times, just one of her natural instincts when she felt something was upsetting Sharon and she wanted to communicate that she wasn't in it alone.

"I think what Anthony wants to know is how we became friends, Andrea, that's all," she said in a soft voice.

"Yeah, that's all. You obviously care very deeply for each other. I was only wondering how it all began."

Andrea leaned back and let a small smile touch her lips. She reached for her wine and glanced in Sharon's direction, raising her brow in question. Sharon nodded to answer the silent question, smiling as well, letting her know she was fine.

"Well, you're right about there being a story there."

Sharon already knew what to expect before Andrea said anything, knowing exactly what Andrea would say.

"I undressed her the first day we met, and she's found me irresistible since then," Andrea said with a proud grin and a twinkle in her eyes as she sipped her wine.

Sharon laughed into her hand. Fernando, also familiar with the story, laughed as well. Anthony, on the other hand, looked intrigued and confused.

"And this is exactly why people always question what is actually going on between the two of you," Fernando said.

"Let them." Andrea licked her lips and returned her glass to the table.

"So she _didn't_ undress you, or...?" Anthony asked, still completely confused. He looked from one woman to the other and ran his hand over his dark hair. "I'm clearly missing something here."

Sharon smiled kindly at him. "You are – the entire story. She enjoys making sure I never forget that that is honestly how we met, especially when other people are around. I'm quite sure she doesn't think she gets enough opportunities to tell people about it, and I'm a little embarrassed to say that it's actually something she considers an accomplishment."

"Uhm, please tell me you don't seriously believe I wouldn't think meeting a sexy woman who wants me to undress her within the first two minutes of meeting her a small accomplishment. I'm not going to write home about it, but I'm definitely going to give myself a pat on the back when nobody's looking."

Sharon rolled her eyes affectionately, giving Andrea a squeeze underneath the table.

"It's not nearly as interesting as she makes it seem," Sharon said to Anthony. "We met in the courthouse – how long's it been now? Eleven years ago, we met in the courthouse restroom. I needed to change and hadn't had time to go home, so I was doing so in the bathroom."

"She had forgotten to lock the door," Andrea added in, looking down at the hand on her lap as she spoke. Sharon went to pull it away when she noticed she hadn't moved it, but Andrea covered it with her own and let it linger.

"Andrea forgot to _knock_ on the door."

"I was in a rush that morning, too," she reminded Sharon.

"Some rush you were in. You stared at me for almost a minute before you even moved from the doorway," Sharon teased. She'd blushed profusely when this happened, but she could now tell the story without doing so.

"She was putting on her stockings. Forgive my brain for momentarily shutting down. I was more shocked than anything."

"You're still sticking with that lie?" Sharon said, squeezing Andrea's thigh as she leaned over, a little closer to her.

"You're still going to deny you didn't find me irresistible since the day we met?" Andrea challenged, leaning in as well, grinning at her.

"Well," Sharon said slowly, licking her lips as her eyes dropped down to Andrea's for a brief moment.

Fernando cleared his throat across the table and they both jumped in their seats. "You were saying."

Sharon felt heat crawl up the back of her neck and flush her cheeks. "My zipper had been stuck, and I had been struggling with it just before she walked in on me."

"So naturally," Andrea said with a smile, "she asked the stranger who had just been checking her out if they could unzip her dress."

"You were flustered and blushing almost as hard as I was. I was certain you wouldn't cause me any harm."

"I was not!"

"Oh, sweetheart, you most certainly were."

"I was not," she said to Anthony.

"She was," Sharon said with a smirk.

Morales got up and grabbed the empty wine bottle. "I'm going to need another glass of wine if I have to sit through the two of you being so... _cute,_ " he said with a wrinkled brow.

"I think it's great," Anthony said, leaning forward. "So that's how it all started?"

"Well, that's how we met. I left immediately after and went to a different restroom. We bumped into each other again that day, though, maybe two or three hours later. She was in front of me on line in a coffee shop. I bought her coffee."

"And then flirted with me."

"Don't make me sound so terrible. We had a conversation that involved _some_ flirting."

"And a lot of Andrea being extremely obvious when checking me out, again."

Andrea looked at Sharon as she laughed. "Is that all you really remember?"

It wasn't, no. She remembered how the previous twenty-four hours had given her a horrible headache and Andrea had made her smile and laugh more in those ten minutes they spent together than she had the entire week. But, Sharon simply smirked as she looked back at Andrea. "If you insist on always pointing out that you helped me undress the first day we met, I will always bring up how much you flirted with me."

"She used to be a huge flirt," Fernando said as he came out with a fresh, uncorked bottle of wine and started topping off glasses.

"Used to be?" Sharon took her glass and brought it to her mouth, laughing against the rim as she took a small sip.

"Yes, used to be. Who do I flirt with?" Sharon raised her brow as if to ask Andrea if she was seriously asking her that. "You don't count."

Sharon laughed. "I think I've learned you're more of a tease, anyway," she said under her breath, but it was loud enough for Andrea to hear it.

" _I'm_ the tease?" she questioned, turning to look at Sharon while running her fingernail over the back of Sharon's hand and sending little waves of electricity across her skin.

Sharon licked her lips and looked down at her hand on Andrea's thigh. "I-I..." Andrea had been the one that kept her from moving her hand, and it wasn't as though she was touching Andrea anywhere inappropriate.

Andrea continued on with the story as though nothing was wrong, though, so Sharon only swallowed and drank more wine.

"By the end of the day, we'd bumped into each other a handful of times. I used, what I can admit now, was a stupid line about fate making us meet up so many times. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she ever wanted to meet on purpose."

"I never called."

"Wait," Anthony said, interrupting them. "You mean, you endured what I'm going to assume was probably terrible flirting each time you saw each other. You even sound like you might have enjoyed it. But she gave you her number and you never called her?"

"Oh, we don't have time for that story," Andrea said with a laugh.

"She was convinced she was straight," Fernando said, trying to pretend he was more focused on his wine than the conversation.

"Was?" Anthony asked with a curious expression on his face that made Sharon smile.

"It was not that I was convinced I was straight. I had never been attracted to a woman before."

"She also didn't date them, or anyone. I found that out two weeks later when I saw her again at the courthouse."

"I bought her coffee as an apology when I noticed she was there, and she accepted my apology when I told her why I hadn't called. The short version, that is."

"She told me she was flattered but uninterested."

"I wasn't that direct."

"But I heard you loud and clear. I wasn't her type."

"As in a man."

"So..." Anthony stretched out.

Fernando sighed. "Must you two always drag this story out?! Sharon was very straight – until she wasn't and she was then very gay for Andrea. No, that did not change that she didn't date. Don't ask, you don't want to be more confused than you already are. Just accept it. They never dated, but Andrea said she could be a good friend if Sharon wanted that. They met for coffee multiple times a week until it started becoming lunches and dinners, and now here we are, nearly eleven years later. Do you see how quickly I got through that?"

"I'm not gay," Sharon pointed out. "I'm bisexual."

"And our friendship was more than coffee and lunches."

"Jesus Christ. You two are impossible to satisfy."

Andrea and Sharon shared a look and then smirked as they lifted their wine glasses and silently drank from them.

 _to be continued…_


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This is a short chapter. It was supposed to go with chapter 6, but that one got too long.

7.

"Come on, you can do better than that!" Fernando shouted, sitting on the edge of the couch with his brow deeply furrowed. "What's that even supposed to be? Give me something else."

Sharon chuckled quietly into Andrea's arm, but Andrea let her laughter fill the living room as she counted the last few seconds off in her head with her phone. When the beep sounded, Anthony dropped the dry erase marker down on the coffee table and sighed heavily.

"Sylvester Stallone!" He pointed to the last pictures he'd drawn on the board. "Those are rocks. Rocks. Rocky. Rocky Balboa. Ring a bell?!"

"And I was supposed to get Sylvester Stallone from a bunch of circles?"

"Rocks! They were rocks," Anthony growled, flopping down beside Morales and shaking his head with disbelief.

"Yeah, Morales, those were obviously rocks," Andrea said through another fit of laughter. She'd been doing a lot of that the past hour. He and Anthony might have made a good couple, but they were terrible at being teammates.

"Oh, hush up."

Sharon lifted her head from Andrea's shoulder and swatted her arm lightly, holding in the laughter that Andrea could still feel vibrating in Sharon's chest. "Be nice."

Andrea sobered up quickly and reached for the notepad where they were keeping score. "All right, you scored two points for your final round, which puts you one ahead of us. So... Sharon and I only need two to win the game." She nodded, knowing they could definitely win. "You ready?" she asked the woman beside her.

Sharon nodded and untucked her legs from beneath her and let her feet fall down to the rug. "I'm drawing and you're guessing?"

"Yes, ma'am," Andrea answered, stretching her arms back and rolling her neck, getting ready.

"No verbal clues, no gesturing, and none of that hinting with your eyes things you two like to do," Morales warned with a pointed finger.

She took his grouchiness to mean he already knew he'd lost, and she couldn't help but grin a little in satisfaction. They were both extremely competitive, and neither of them liked losing. Andrea had grown up in a house full of males who always wanted to one-up the other, and Andrea's need to best them all had turned into a lifelong need to be the best at everything she did. Growing up: top of class, best schools, fastest sprinter on her track and field team. Now: game night champion! She and Sharon were dynamite together, and Andrea could not ask for a better teammate.

"Okay, pick your topic," Anthony said, mixing up the folded Post-it notes in the colorful glass bowl.

Sharon reached in and took out a blue square, and after receiving the nod from Anthony, she unfolded it. A smile slowly grew on her face as she lifted her eyes from the paper and looked at Andrea. "Literature. We've got this," she said confidently.

"Great," Fernando mumbled as he fell back against the sofa.

Anthony gave the other man a quick look, patted his thigh, and then rolled up the sleeves of his deep green shirt. "Ready?" When both she and Sharon answered that they were, he set the timer to start counting down. "You've got ninety seconds, starting... Now!"

Sharon uncapped the marker and glanced at the folded paper once more. Written on the Post-it note was a topic and six different choices for them to pick from. The goal of the game was to get as many as they could done, each of them worth one point. Andrea and Sharon had filled one bowl for Fernando and Anthony to pick from, and they guys had filled the other for them. She was actually surprised to see 'Literature' as one of the topics after having the game full of topics that she was less familiar with, but it only made her feel more confident.

Sharon started drawing on the board with her red dry erase marker, and Andrea watched silently at first. She didn't throw out useless answers when she knew it distracted Sharon, and she could always think better when she took in the drawing without focusing too hard on the goal but instead on exactly what was being drawn. It would all come to her if she was patient and trusted her partner.

Circles – no, eyes – a small nose, whiskers... Maybe a cat. A plus sign. A stick figure.

Sharon glanced over her shoulder, brow lifting.

"Cat and..." Sharon started adding details to the cat, making it– "Not a cat, a mouse." Sharon grinned and tapped the plus sign. "Mouse– Mouse and uhm...uhm..." Andrea tapped her fingers against her thigh, her blood rushing in her ears. "A person. Uh... Oh! Of Mice and Men," she shouted with excitement.

Sharon nodded quickly, already working on the next drawing.

"Little Women," Andrea guessed right away after Sharon drew three stick figures with skirts and arrows that pointed to the smaller ones. "You're doing great. Give me another."

Sharon hummed as she drew, a low sound that helped keep Andrea focused and relaxed. Andrea watched Sharon's hand move across the board in fast strokes and smooth lines. She listened to Sharon hum, and she didn't let the excited buzzing in her head distract her.

She made several guesses that all turned out to be incorrect, but then Sharon drew music notes next to the crude drawing of the caged bird and the answer came together. "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," she called out just before the timer went off.

Sharon spun around and clapped her hands, and Andrea jumped up from her seat. "And _that_ is how you win! It's all about great teamwork," she said, pulling Sharon to her so she could hug her from the side. "Maybe you should try being kinder to Anthony when he's trying his best."

Fernando rolled his eyes and chucked a pillow at her. "Don't you have a home to get to?"

Andrea, who had caught the pillow before it could reach her, threw it back at him. "Yeah, I do, but not until you tell me I'm the champion of game night and stop looking at me like I just stomped on all your dreams by beating you."

He laughed a dramatic, sarcastic laugh. "Do you want me to set up the guest room for you, or is the sofa good enough? Because _that_ won't be happening."

It was Andrea's whose eyes rolled this time. "You almost suck all the fun out of beating you. Almost."

"Are they always like this?" Anthony asked, starting to clean up the coffee table.

"Almost-childishly competitive?" He nodded. Sharon laughed, eyeing both Andrea and Fernando. "Sadly, yes. The only way to avoid it is by putting them on the same team. I don't give up my partner that easily, though. I prefer winning with her."

"Next time we'll have to invite more people over so we can have larger teams, then," he said, and Andrea heard Sharon agree.

. . .

Sharon's hands were deep in her jacket pocket as she and Andrea walked to her car. It was late in the night and the air was cool against her face. Fernando and Anthony had already headed back inside the bungalow after seeing them to the front door and telling them to get home safely, leaving the two of them alone in the dark night. Sharon had parked a few cars away from the house, and Andrea was around the corner because there hadn't been any closer available spots when she arrived. Sharon had offered to drive her around the corner so she wouldn't have to walk alone in the dark, so they both climbed into Sharon's car when they reached it.

When the doors were shut and Sharon settled into her seat, she turned to look at Andrea. "So what did you think about Anthony?"

"I liked him," Andrea said with a genuine smile. "I was a little worried before I met him. Fernando seems to be ready to move things along – they're already spending weekends together and planning for things months in advance. Before I met Anthony, I admit I was worried this would turn out to be a repeat of the disaster his relationship with Chris was. But, it doesn't seem that way."

Sharon hummed and started her car. "From what I could tell, I think Anthony's just as serious as Morales is. He doesn't' strike me as the kind of man who would give false hope to someone to gain something out of the situation."

Andrea agreed. "You two got along well, too. I don't have to worry about being replaced anytime soon, do I?"

Sharon bit back her first response as her stomach twisted into uncomfortable knots that made her look away. Andrea was irreplaceable, in every possible way, but she decided not to say that. She'd gone the entire night after dinner without thinking about Andy and their relationship, but he popped into her head as soon as Andrea brought up being replaced. He wouldn't replace Andrea either, she knew, and then frowned at herself for even forming the thought.

Andrea brushed her hand over Sharon's, her knuckles rolling over the back of Sharon's hand as it rested on the gear shift. Sharon loosened her grip and smiled, slowly looking over to the woman who made her skin feel alive with just one touch. Worry flecked her greyish-blue eyes, but she smiled a slow and beautiful smile that made Sharon's heart skitter. She could get lost in that smile, in the curves of Andrea's lips and the emotions that played across her face. She _had_ gotten lost in it many times, and sitting there in her car, with the light of the full moon shining through her windshield to caress the edges of Andrea's face, Sharon felt herself doing so for what she knew would not be the last time.

In the beginning, Sharon had been certain it was just a matter of getting used to the changes in her life as she started dating Andy. Transitioning, she had explained to herself, was not the easiest thing to deal with. One could not simply go switching everything in their life when their life, and themselves, were so intricately intertwined with another.

She had accepted that Andrea was content with their relationship staying as it had been for the past decade, and she had told herself that it was okay to see what there could be between her and Andy. She had loved Andrea for years as her friend, and she would continue doing so. But as more time passed by, the changes she was expected to get used to started becoming changes she didn't want to happen. It was not a matter of getting used to new things, it was trying to find a way to keep what she had grown to love while allowing more into her life.

Andrea slipped her fingers into the spaces between Sharon's, into the places that had become their home, and curled them into Sharon's palm. Warmth spread through her chest, her stomach, her entire body, and she knew that nothing would ever feel as right as this did, nor as perfect. She cared about Andy a lot, but a part of Sharon knew she wouldn't have anything remotely close to this with him. The connection she felt to Andrea was like nothing else she had experienced, and she knew she would never feel it with another. While that saddened her at times, because she _did_ want things to work out with Andy, as they sat in the car, their hands together in a simple sign of everything they were, it made her smile with gratitude for the other woman. She may never have such a strong, meaningful bond with anyone else, but she had it with her. She had it with Andrea.

 _She had Andrea._

Sharon cleared her throat and looked away from Andrea's smiling lips, bringing her eyes to their hands instead. She didn't say anything, but she hummed and covered their hands with her left one, holding Andrea's between her own. There was nothing to be said that she hadn't already told Andrea countless times in the past, and for a moment, simply holding Andrea's hand between her own was enough.

. . .

 _Kiss her_ , Andrea's heart said as it fiercely pounded away in her chest. She could feel the familiar pull as Sharon stroked the side of her thumb where it was sensitive with one of her own fingers.

 _Kiss her,_ Andrea's brain whispered as Sharon looked up into her eyes again. There was something there that Andrea couldn't put a name to, some type of longing that made her breath catch in her throat as she stared back into Sharon's eyes in the moonlit car. But longing for what, she wondered. What did Sharon want that she didn't think she already had permission to take?

Didn't Sharon know she would do everything in her power to give her the world if she asked for it?

Andrea felt like her throat was tightening and her lungs were working extra hard, and for a few seconds there was a strong possibility that her heart would cause itself damage from how quickly it was pumping. Sharon removed her top hand from Andrea's and brought it to Andrea's face, hesitating, hovering in the air before she let the tips graze her cheek. Andrea swallowed as her mind filled with questions she couldn't ask because she couldn't find her voice beneath her shallow breaths.

Sharon was thinking about something, that much Andrea could figure out on her own, but she did not know what. She only knew that she'd only seen the look Sharon was giving her a handful of times in the past. The longing in her eyes, the open expression of her face that was like a book written in a foreign language that Sharon was giving her to read but Andrea could not understand, the slight apology that mixed into it – Andrea had seen it all before. But she couldn't remember when, and she had no idea what to do next.

 _Kiss her_ , the voice in her head whispered again when Sharon caressed her cheek like she meant it this time, following the curve of her face like she was memorizing its shape. Sharon pursed her lips and closed her eyes, but she let her hand linger on Andrea's face. Andrea stayed perfectly still, only watching Sharon, waiting, wondering. Thinking: _Kiss her._

. . .

Sharon's fingers trembled as she slid them away from Andrea's face, her eyes still closed. She was making a mistake, and she needed to stop before she couldn't undo the damage she was bound to cause to one of the relationships in her life. There was a constant pull in her that made her want, want Andrea, want to be able to touch her and hold her and show the other woman how much she meant to her. But there was also a voice in her head that reminded her that she couldn't do those things. Andrea had said she needed some space between them, and Sharon didn't want to take too much because she worried about crossing new boundaries whose locations were unknown to her. And until she spoke to Andy, she didn't want to do anything that she already knew made him uncomfortable. She had made up her mind about what she would and wouldn't give up, but she demanded honesty in her relationships and would give him the same. The want that burned inside her was a part of her that she knew wouldn't go away, for it had been there for many years. But to act on that want when her current desire was to be one with Andrea, a concept that was beautiful in its complexity, did not feel honest to her.

Reluctant but sure it was the right thing to do, Sharon untangled their hands and placed both of her own hands on the steering wheel as she exhaled a long breath. She thought maybe an apology would be fitting for the moment after catching the confusion in Andrea's eyes, but she would not apologize for something she was not sorry for. She was not sorry for touching Andrea, nor for wanting to. She was not sorry for the way she felt for Andrea, nor would she ever be.

If she were to apologize for anything, it would be for taking so long to reach the place she was at now. But, again, she was not sorry for that. She wished things had happened differently, but she could not be sorry for taking however long she needed to be ready for another relationship. Andrea had told her once that everyone healed at their own pace, that she didn't have to be ready until she felt like she was. Andrea understood better than anyone else how badly Sharon was hurt by Jack – she had loved him deeply, so of course his dishonesty and abuse of her trust would cause a pain that ran just as deep – and Sharon knew Andrea wouldn't allow her to apologize for something like that if she were to try.

An apology might have been fitting for the moment, but Sharon chose to clear her throat and offer Andrea a reassuring smile instead. "We should probably leave before Fernando comes out here to see why we're still parked outside of his house."

Andrea looked deeply into her eyes for a moment, like she was searching for something. Sharon simply allowed her, not breaking eye contact. When she appeared satisfied, she nodded her head and straightened up in her seat. "I'm to the right, four or five cars down."

Sharon put the car into drive and went the short distance, glancing out the corner of her eye at one point to see Andrea watching her. She was used to Andrea silently looking at her when she was trying to figure out what kind of mood she was in or if something was wrong with her, so she did not say anything to Andrea. At Andrea's car, she stopped and let out a slow breath and loosened her hands around the wheel.

Andrea hummed thoughtfully as she brushed Sharon's hair behind her ear and rolled her thumb over it. Sharon slowly turned to look at her. "Relax," Andrea whispered. Sharon looked into Andrea's eyes and reached for the hand that laid against her shoulder. "Whatever just happened that is making you all tense, either let it go or talk to me about it if it's something you need to work through."

Sharon gave Andrea's hand a long squeeze and then brought it close to her mouth. "I'll be okay," she said surely, letting the words blow against Andrea's skin before giving her hand a small kiss. "Let me know when you get home."

Andrea slowly slipped her hand from Sharon's grasp, and Sharon let her hand fall down to her lap as she watched Andrea get her car keys out. "I'll text you," Andrea said, as she always did.

"If you're not too tired, you can call," Sharon said after a small pause, hopeful.

"I'll call," she said as she leaned across the console. Her eyes flicked up to Sharon's quickly before a warm hand cupped her face and pulled Sharon towards Andrea. "I can provide a listening ear tonight if that's what you need."

Sharon shook her head, her eyes closed as she reveled in the feeling of the gentle kiss that was brushed against her cheek. "I just want to hear your voice again before bed," Sharon whispered honestly.

Andrea hummed and pressed another, longer kiss to Sharon's cheek, her lashes fluttering against Sharon. Sharon exhaled loudly and reached up to stroke the side of Andrea's face. Andrea smiled against her, and Sharon's pulse jumped excitedly. "I can give you that, too. Whatever you want."

Sharon laughed in her throat. "How many times do I have to tell you you shouldn't offer to give me whatever I want when you don't know the extent of my desires?"

Andrea pulled away and rubbed her lips together, shrugging her shoulders a little. "You're stuck saying that until you realize that I really do mean it. I wouldn't say it if I didn't."

Sharon's stomach twisted a little as she tilted her head towards Andrea's car. "Hmm. Drive home safely."

Andrea lingered for another second or two and then the left car, saying, "You too," just before shutting the door.

Sharon waited for Andrea to get inside of her own car and pull off before she let her head fall down to the steering wheel for a brief moment. She exhaled a loud breath and pressed her fingers to her cheek.

 _Whatever you want_.

It was painfully obvious to her what she wanted in that moment. She wondered if maybe there was a chance that she could actually have it. _Her._ She wondered if there was a chance, a small possibility, that maybe one day, if she were no longer dating anyone else and Andrea knew what Sharon wanted, that she could have the life she wanted with Andrea. Would Andrea want that?

 _to be continued..._

A/N 2:

I _know_ you guys want to know what's going on with Andy, but you have to understand that so far I've only actually covered the rest of Friday and Saturday. I wanted to show the back and forth in Sharon's thoughts, what makes her make her decisions, and I wanted her relationship with Andrea to be understood. What was most important to me writing this fic was their unique connection and the layers of their friendship.

Her decision to date Andy was made after coming to the conclusion that Andrea was not interested in more than the friendship they already had. She accepted that, just as Andrea originally accepted that she was not ready to date anyone a decade ago. But Sharon's feelings didn't magically disappear because of this, so she's been trying to learn to live with them while also seeing where her relationship with Andy is going. There's a big struggle when you're aware you have feelings for someone you aren't dating but you also care for the person you _are_ dating, and I wanted to try to give the reader a good look at how that's been for her. I also wanted to do this without writing Sharon as a cheater, because this situation is more complex than that and Sharon isn't a cheater.

In order for me to feel as though I was getting the story out the way I wanted, I needed to take the time to explain a few things. I didn't want it to feel rushed, because that felt wrong for Sharon's character. I think she would give this a lot of thought, and honest communication would play a big part in her decisions. Anyway... Andy will be returning in the next chapter, and they will finally be having the conversation I've been mentioning the last few chapters. (Things will be picking up after that talk!) All three of them in the same room, however, doesn't happen until after Sharon and Andy have their private conversation. Chapter 8 you get Andy, and chapter 9 you'll get all of them.

Thanks for reading/reviewing/messaging/following... thanks for being awesome!


	8. Chapter 8

8.

Monday rolled in with dark, heavy gray clouds. It hadn't rained in many weeks, but Monday morning it poured fat raindrops that slickened the roads relentlessly. Andrea had awoken to the sound of it beating its mighty song on her window and had rolled over towards the middle of her empty bed and buried her head beneath pillows. She had wished for it to stop, hoped for sleep to come back to her. She had craved with a deep, burning desire for something warm and solid and Sharon-like to be in her sea of blankets. Her alarm clock, however, had a different plan for the morning and blared loudly until she banged her hand down on it to shut it up along with the thoughts in her head that reminded her, once again, as she clung to her pillows and sleep, that she was very much alone in her bed.

She had moved through her morning routine with the liveliness of a zombie, feet dragging her from one room to the other. Andrea had forgotten that she'd run out of coffee beans and was supposed to go grocery shopping Sunday, so she hadn't had any help waking herself up. It was with a desperate need for coffee that she navigated Los Angeles morning traffic, her road rage fueled by her lack of caffeine and the drivers who drove as though they suddenly forgot how to do so once it started raining. The line in the coffee shop had been long, and even though she repeated her order three times it was still wrong. And if that wasn't enough, her Monday was starting with a meeting with Chief Taylor.

Before heading to his office, she walked down to Major Crimes' section of the building. She had picked up a tea and a light breakfast for Sharon when she purchased her coffee and wanted to deliver it while the beverage was still hot.

Andrea was greeted by Provenza's low groan as she entered the room. Her eyebrows shot up as she looked his way. "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, Lieutenant?"

Amy Sykes chuckled under her breath, filling something out. "The couch. He's been grumpier than his usual self this morning."

Provenza ruffled his newspaper in front of him. "Didn't anyone ever tell you about spreading other people's _personal_ business around, Sykes? Especially when you don't even know all the details."

The detective smiled as she sat back in her chair, placing her pen down gently. "Hey, I'm only going off of what you said yourself – several times, I might add – for everyone to hear. Besides, I know how a man gets when he gets kicked out of bed. My mother would send my father to the couch whenever he so much as looked at her the wrong way sometimes. I got good at picking up the signs."

"Beats waking up to an empty bed," Andrea mused, _not_ remembering the very empty bed she woke up in. "If she chose to make you sleep on the couch, chances are she's just upset with you. Probably rightfully so. Patrice seems like a smart woman. If it was something serious, I doubt the only outcome would have been you sleeping on the couch for a night.

"Figure out what you did wrong and work on fixing it. And no," she said as she walked the rest of the way to Sharon's office door, "fixing it doesn't mean apologizing without knowing what you've done wrong and having true intention to prevent the situation from repeating itself."

Provenza grumbled something that she didn't quite catch under the sound of Sharon's door opening before she was allowed to knock.

"Andrea, what brings you here this morning? I didn't expect to be seeing you until later today," Sharon said as she closed the door behind her, her smile distracting Andrea from the words that were being said to her.

It took her several noticeable moments for her to catch on to what Sharon had said and hold up the tray with a large tea and white paper bag beside it. "Breakfast."

Sharon took the tray from her hand, her smile growing as she continued to look at Andrea. "Thank you. Are you on your way to meet with the chief? That's this morning, right?"

Andrea nodded and shifted on her feet. She brought her coffee up to her mouth and took a long sip from it before glancing down to her watch. "I should actually get going. I just wanted to drop that off and stop by and say good morning to you."

Sharon parted her lips to say something, but then stopped herself and looked at her own watch. She hummed thoughtfully and then reached behind her to open her door. "I'll walk with you if you don't mind."

Andrea smiled and nodded, biting her cheek to stop herself from grinning too hard. Her mood was instantly picked up, even if just for a few minutes. "Sure. That would be nice."

When they were alone in the hallway, Sharon's shoulder bumped into hers and she smiled. "You look really nice. I like these colors on you."

Andrea laughed, plucking the silk cream blouse she wore with her navy skirt suit. "I'm pretty sure you were the one who picked out everything I'm wearing."

Sharon hummed and nodded. "I was," she said with a breathy laugh, "and like I said, you look beautiful."

Andrea's heart fluttered in her chest as she ran her teeth over her lower lip. "Actually you said that I look really nice," she pointed out while glancing at Sharon. "Close, but not the same thing."

She rolled her eyes and bumped their shoulders again, this time letting the backs of their fingers graze each other. "You look very beautiful," Sharon whispered, the words a flirty breath in the air. "There we go, I've now said it twice."

"Once more and you win a prize," she teased, pushing open a door and letting Sharon walk through before following.

Sharon looked over her shoulder while lifting her brow, amused. "What kind of prize?"

Andrea looked around them and then gestured to their surroundings. "One I can't tell you about here, but one I can guarantee you will find very satisfying." When she saw Sharon lick her lips, she laughed softly.

"It's too early for this. Go to your meeting, DDA Hobbs," Sharon said with a shake of her head, pushing Andrea forward.

Andrea laughed louder and reached out to give Sharon's hand a squeeze. "Thank you for walking me. I'll text you later to see if we can meet for lunch if we've got the time."

Sharon smiled and watched her continue walking away. "Enjoy your day."

. . .

Sharon parked her car in an empty spot two away from Andy's Tuesday evening. The batting cages weren't too busy this late on weeknights, so the parking lot only held eight or nine other cars. It was Andy's favorite time to come here, and she had not been surprised when she found out this was where he wanted to meet her. It was obvious that the conversation they would be having wouldn't be the easiest for either of them, and the batting cages was neutral territory.

Sharon turned the key in the ignition and pulled it free, but she did not leave her car. She took several long breaths, mentally following the air as it traveled from her mouth down to the twisted, tight mess in her belly, then back up and away from where her nervous energy was stored and out of her body again. For a small moment she considered calling Andrea to give her a pep-talk, but she quickly dismissed the thought. It would be nice to hear Andrea's voice, but she didn't want to involve her friend in this.

Andrea had told her the other day that she felt like she was getting in the way of Sharon's relationship with Andy and didn't want that to happen, and Sharon knew there was a possibility Andrea might think her needing to talk to Andy about their friendship was another way in which she was getting in the way. It wasn't. Sharon needed to do this because of herself, because of what _she_ wanted and what was important to her. Yes, essentially that was Andrea, but this was more about how she and Andy could work through this together and how he handled her feelings on the matter. There was a bigger picture to be looked at that didn't concern Andrea – how Andy reacted tonight would give Sharon a better look at what to expect of him in the future as a life partner.

Sharon sat in the car for a few more deep breaths and then got out, feeling a little less nervous and more confident. She locked her car and then pushed her keys into the pocket of her leather jacket, leaving her hand in there with them as she strode over to the entrance. Nights in Los Angeles were cool and the air smelt like sea water at the batting cages. Andy had brought her out here a few times before they started dating, so the smell of the air and the crunch of the gravel shifting beneath her ankle boots felt familiar to her. The same two young boys manned the booth and remembered her, and she found Andy in the same cage he always used towards the back.

She didn't announce herself when she arrived. There were benches a few yards away from each cage entrance, and Sharon sat down on the one outside of Andy's with her hard helmet beside her. Sharon watched him, listening to the clicking sound of balls and bats colliding. He was wearing a heavy gray sweatshirt with black jogging pants, and Sharon could tell he'd been there for a while because there were already two empty water bottles on the ground inside with him in the corner with the rest of his belongings.

Andy lifted the bat and swung as a ball rushed his way, over-calculating its speed and going for it too soon. Sharon's lip quirked in the corner as he shook in frustration and got back into the proper stance. He twisted his hands around the bat and swung again, smacking the ball high into the netting this time.

"Woo! There you go," she called out loudly with a wide smile.

He turned to face her quickly, his surprise to see her melting away almost immediately as he slowly grinned her way. Thankfully, he'd moved to the side when he spun around and the next mechanical pitch shot past him instead of into his unexpecting body. Sharon pulled one of her hands from its pocket and waved her fingers at him.

Andy signaled for Sharon to give him a minute and then took the last two swings that he'd paid for. Sharon got up from the bench and met him halfway when he opened the cage door. She could feel his body heat burning through the thick cotton of his shirt when she placed her hands on his upper arms and leaned into him, pressing her lips to his in greeting. He ran his hands over the lapels of her leather jacket and gave them a slight tug when they pulled apart, giving her a once-over.

"You look great," he declared, licking his lips and then pulling at his sweatshirt self-consciously.

Sharon stopped him from messing with his own clothes and wrapped her hand around his. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from saying that she was only wearing jeans with V-neck tee shirt, nothing special; she hummed in response instead.

"And you," she said while touching the back of her free hand to his damp skin, "look overheated. How about you come sit down for a little bit, hmm?"

"Uh. Yeah." He threw a pointed thumb over his shoulder. "Let me just grab a water."

Sharon shook her head and pushed him towards the wood bench. "I'll get the water for you, you sit," she insisted.

She could feel the nervous fluttering in her belly starting once again and could use a few moments to calm it. When Andy fell down to the seat, Sharon smiled lightly at him and released his hand. He pulled off his red helmet and ran his fingers through his silver hair, darkened and laid flat some places from sweat. She wondered not for the first time how long he had been there before she arrived, but she didn't question it as she left him to get his water.

Inside the cage there was a small cooler that held four bottles and melting ice. When she plunged her hand into the icy water, she took in a sharp breath. "Help yourself to a water or some of the trail mix if you want," Andy called out to her. Sharon took out just the one water, but she found the trail mix on top of his jacket and took it with her back to the spot Andy was watching her from.

"Drink up," she said, handing him the dripping bottle. She wiped her wet hand on the denim of her pants and then sat down beside him, the old wood creaking softly beneath her weight.

He quickly turned the cap and drank half of the water down, the plastic crinkling in his hand. "Thanks," he breathed out when he looked at her. He turned on the bench so he had a foot on either side of it and his body was facing hers, his hands leaning on the hard helmet. "You wanna?" he asked while he motioned over to the bat on the ground with his head.

Sharon reached down for the black bat but shook her head in the negative. "Maybe in a little while," she answered, wrapping her hand around it and spinning it in front of her. "I'd rather we – you know." Sharon tilted her head sideways without looking at him, gesturing with the bat, waving it in the air.

She could see him nod his head out of the corner of her eye. "Get on with it." His arm raised, and she turned just enough to watch him scratch the back of his neck. "Yeah, probably a good idea."

She smiled faintly.

" _Sooo_ ," he dragged out.

Right, she was the one who needed to start this. She cleared her throat and held the opposite end of the bat against her foot as she twisted it. It kept her hands busy without occupying her mind. "Andy-" she started after several quiet seconds, but he spoke at the same time she did.

"We don't need to continue this conversation if you don't want to. I know we said we would, but, well - -" he shrugged, "- - I don't think that's necessary. Unless you want to. It's been a week. I think we've moved past it."

Sharon arched her eyebrow, looking at him. He looked calm but tired, perhaps a little unsure of something. Sharon usually felt confident in her ability to read people, especially those who she was closest to, but she couldn't tell how Andy was feeling. His brow was slightly furrowed, but there were no other visible signs to go off of. What she did know, however, was that they had not "moved past it" like Andy said.

"No, I do want to. I think there are a few things we need to get to the bottom of that we haven't really discussed properly." Sharon made sure he was listening to her before continuing. "For one, I want to be able to understand what about my friendship with Andrea bothers you so much. Even the smallest mention of her gets a negative reaction these days, and I want to know why. I also think it would be beneficial for our relationship, yours and mine, if I were to clear up whatever possible misunderstandings there might be about my relationship with Andrea."

For a long moment there was silence between them that was filled by a mechanical clicking and the sound of batters hitting balls. A heavy weight had settled in Sharon's belly, but she chose to focus on Andy instead of herself. His mouth opened and shut a few times as though readying to say something and then deciding against it. He clenched his jaws tight and the lines in his brow became more pronounced. He grunted in his throat.

"I don't know what to say," he admitted with an apologetic expression on his face, and Sharon gave him a tiny smile in return.

She didn't know what to say either, she realized as she searched for words to get their conversation rolling. She knew this was something they needed to talk about, but she hadn't prepared properly for this conversation like she should have.

Sharon tightened her hand around the bat and let out a long breath. "You're jealous of her." It wasn't a question, but Sharon also didn't sound certain that her statement was correct. Her head tilted a little to the left, her eyes focused on Andy.

"Well." His shoulders moved up towards his neck, tense. "I wouldn't say that, no."

"You wouldn't?"

Andy let his shoulders relax. "Should I be jealous of her?" he asked.

"Absolutely not," Sharon answered immediately. Despite the fact that Sharon responded quickly, firm tone unwavering, Andy didn't look as if he believed her. "What is it? What are you thinking?" Andy began to shake his head, but when Sharon put her hand on his arm and sighed, he stopped. "Please just tell me, Andy. I would rather we go ahead and talk about everything now instead of continuing to let it constantly be an issue between us."

"Okay," he agreed, slowly nodding his head. She could see something in him shifting. She had thought he was blocking her out moments ago, which was why she couldn't read him. Now, she could see a large variety of emotions flit across his face. "I'm not good at this, Sharon. Feelings, discussing them. I understand anger; I know how to let it out. I have no problem expressing rage. The emotions you make me feel, those are easy, too. But this – it's not simply jealousy. It's more than that, and I don't know how to talk about it."

Sharon nodded slowly.

"But I will try."

"That's all I'm asking for," she told him. Trying meant he wasn't shutting her out. Trying meant he didn't dismiss the problem automatically when she brought it up. Trying, Sharon could do something with. "For what it's worth, I find expressing some of my feelings difficult as well and it took me some time to be ready for this conversation. But the fact that you're willing to try - - I appreciate that."

"Yeah, well." He gave her a small smile before clearing his throat and looking past her shoulder. "I get that I have no reason to be jealous of Hobbs."

"Do you really?" Sharon asked softly, letting the bat fall down to the ground beside her feet.

A cool breeze rustled the leaves and blew by them. Sharon zipped up her jacket, her hands going to her pockets as she continued looking at him. Now that he was unguarded like he normally was, it was easier to tell he was working through what he wanted to say. Sharon could wait; she wanted his honest answer and understood that it might not come right away. She had spent a long time thinking about these things, so she would give him time to do the same.

When he lowered his eyes to meet Sharon's, he looked as though he had aged years in the matter of minutes. There was something about his expression, a tiredness that emphasized the age lines on his face. "You said I don't, so I don't."

Sharon turned on the bench and brought up one of her legs so it was folded over the wood. "Forget I said that. I don't think I can say for sure what would make you jealous, Andy. I shouldn't have. I can, however, tell you that I don't _think_ you should be jealous of Andrea."

"She's important to you," Andy stated slowly, like he was still working through the many thoughts in his head. "The two of you have history together that I don't understand."

Sharon nodded as she listened. "And that's what bothers you?" she asked carefully.

Andy twisted the half-empty bottle of water around with his fingers as he said, "Well, no. It doesn't bother me that you have history with her. What gets to me is that I let it bother me that I don't know what that history entails."

"Ah." Sharon pursed her lips together as she considered her next words. She had known this would be something they discussed, but that didn't stop it from feeling like there was something wild and energetic moving around in her stomach. She fisted her hand and breathed out through her nose slowly, pushing her balled hand to her stomach in an attempt to relax her nerves. "The unknown bothers you," she said, taking care to pronounce each syllable slowly and precisely. "That's not abnormal, Andy."

"That doesn't change that it shouldn't bother me as much as it does. I just - - I see how the two of you interact, and there's something there that..."

"Makes you–"

"Jealous," he continued with a dry, humorless chuckle. "I guess jealousy _is_ a big part of what I feel."

Sharon softened her expression as she looked into his eyes. "Andy, you're human. We all get jealous from time to time."

"Yeah, I know. It's causing problems between us, though, and I don't want that. Do you have any idea how much I've wanted this?" he asked, gesturing between the two of him. He smiled, and her heart throbbed in her chest with something bright and happy for the first time that night. "I don't want to ruin everything because I couldn't get a little jealousy under control."

"That's why we're going to get to the root of all of this," Sharon said with her own smile, hoping to reassure him – hoping to reassure herself.

Andy licked his lips, cleared his throat, and then skated his fingers through his hair. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, of course you can. Go ahead."

"You two, you..." Andy shifted, looking a little uncomfortable – which only made Sharon instantly feel uncomfortable. "Something happen between you two before us?"

Sharon swallowed slowly, raising her brow. "Something?" she repeated. He looked away from her, not saying anything, but the expression on his face, the uncertainty that Sharon recognized from when it seemed like he wasn't sure he really wanted to know the answer to the question he asked, was close enough to an answer for her. "Are you asking if our relationship has ever been more than it is now?"

He nodded.

Sharon opened her mouth to say that it hadn't, but then stopped herself. She knew that, ultimately, what Andy was questioning was if she and Andrea had been romantically or sexually involved before. That wasn't a questioning she could answer with a simple answer, not when most people viewed these topics with such a limited view of the way things should be. It would be a lie to simply say there hadn't been anything between them – because there had been, on some level – but Sharon also knew that to say their relationship was not purely platonic would not fully answer the question Andy was trying to ask.

"You know what, forget I asked," Andy said after Sharon had stayed silent for a long period of time.

Sharon dampened her drying lips and straightened her back. "Do you no longer want to know? I'm willing to talk to you about this, Andy, as long as it's something you actually want to discuss and you remain open-minded."

He laughed another one of his mirthless, uncomfortable laughs while rubbing the back of his neck. "I want to know, that's not the problem. I just don't think I'm ready to hear something I'm not going to like."

Sharon hummed in her throat. "What are you worried I'm going to say?"

"Seriously?" Andy lifted his brow, and Sharon tilted her head in response. "Isn't it obvious? Every single time we talk about this, I learn something new about your relationship with that woman that makes the way I feel about her seem more justified."

"The way you feel about– You mean your jealousy?"

"It's not just a matter of being jealous when the woman you're _close_ to is in love with you."

Sharon slowly stood from the bench, her arm wrapped around her middle as she studied Andy with a blank face. So that was what was wrong? He thought Andrea was in love with her? Sharon shook her head and then looked up towards the dark sky, breathing out a slow breath. It wasn't cold enough to see her breath, but she could feel it leave her body, her shoulders dropping as she deflated a little.

"Andrea isn't in love with me," she said surely, slowly, making sure he heard each word.

"Sharon, I see the way she looks at you, the way she acts around you. The other month when we all went out and celebrated with Rusty, Hobbs spent the entire night either finding a reason to be near you or with her eyes on you from across the room. It was like she couldn't separate herself from you – she didn't want to, and I know how that is. I spent long enough being the person who was crazy about you not to recognize the signs in someone else."

"It's not the same," she insisted. "I think I would know if my best friend was in love with me, Andy." Sharon shook her head again, taking small steps as she began walking around the little area that surrounded the bench. "There is an undeniably high level of intimacy in our friendship, yes, but that's not only because it's what Andrea wants. It's been that way for years because we both made decisions that led to us being that comfortable with each other. We're - -" Sharon pursed her lips and stopped moving. "Andrea isn't in love with me," she said again with finality after a long pause. "We share a very strong connection, and there's no doubt in my mind that Andrea loves me–"

"Have you asked her? Have the two of you spoken about this?" Andy sounded as though he was getting tired, and Sharon sighed. Perhaps there was no working through this, she thought. Maybe he wouldn't be satisfied with the answers she had for him. "Sharon, the woman is attracted to you, and that's only the beginning of it. How can you know for sure that she isn't in love with you?"

Sharon's eyes narrowed as she turned to face him. "I just know," she said, breathing out a heavy breath. "I'm aware of all of the things you've pointed out to me tonight and in previous conversations. Andrea is attracted to me, yes. But I've known this for as long as I've known Andrea. She's never hidden that from me."

Andy stared up at Sharon, dumbfounded. "And, what, you're okay with that?" Andy roughly pushed his hand over his head. "That didn't come out right. What I meant was..." Andy grunted. "Sharon, it's been ten years. If she's been attracted to you for that long, how can you seriously believe that's all it is?"

Sharon sat back down on the bench, feeling a little dizzy as her blood rushed and her head spun from the thoughts that were running through her mind. She held on to the bench with both hands wrapped around the edge, her eyes focused on the concrete ground beneath her booted feet.

"Andrea would have told me if she, if she..." Sharon swallowed the words that she couldn't get herself to say again. Her heart was starting to beat at a rapid pace, and her stomach was twisting into uncomfortable knots like it always did when she thought about this, about Andrea's feelings for her.

She felt Andy's hand cover her shoulder and she lifted her head, his eyes full of the same confusion that was swirling inside of her. "Look, Sharon, I don't know the whole story – and I'm starting to think it's best that I don't – but you wanted to know why your friendship with Hobbs bothers me, and that's why. It's not easy to admit I feel intimidated by what the two of you have, but I do."

Sharon reached for his hand and took it into her own, holding it, giving him a small smile. They sat like that for a long while, so long that by the time Sharon went to speak again, the batting cages were nearly empty and only one other customer could be seen.

"A long time ago, sometime in the beginning of our friendship, Andrea and I spent hours talking about our feelings for each other," Sharon said with a smile, remembering the night. She didn't look at Andy as she spoke, but she knew he was listening to her. "Like I said, I'd known from the start that she was attracted to me. We'd met shortly after Ricky left for college, and things in my life were changing faster than I expected. For years my top priority was caring for my children, but with them both out of the house, there was a lot less that I needed to worry about on a day-to-day basis where they were concerned.

"I had already been committing a great amount of my time to work, but there was a definite increase in the amount of hours I was dedicating to my career in some way, shape, or form. I don't have to tell you how many of the people I worked with didn't understand me, most of whom did not hide their automatic dislike for me because of my position in IA."

"Sharon, I–"

She shook her head, putting her hand on his arm to stop what she could tell he was about to say. "Don't apologize. We've discussed the way our relationship was in the past already, and I didn't bring it up to make you feel as though you needed to say anything on the matter."

"But I do," Andy insisted. "I–"

But Sharon cut him off again. "I don't want you to. And if you're truly apologetic, Andy, you won't continue to apologize for something when I don't want you to. If the apology is honestly meant for me and not yourself, then you'll accept that I don't want to hear it anymore."

"All right," he said solemnly, his apologetic eyes staring deeply into her own.

Before the intensity of his gaze could unnerve her, Sharon looked away from him and focused on the lone batter a few cages away from them. "There's a common, and incorrect, belief that the people in IA are the bad guys, when in reality the work that Internal Affairs does is to better the force as a whole. The first thing IA taught me was to have thicker skin, the next was the importance of barriers and protective walls. Granted, Jack played a hand in that as well. I learned to be good at keeping people at a safe distance, and I was convinced it was merely because I knew how callous and mean-spirited some of the officers I would encounter could be. But that was honestly only part of it.

"That need to protect myself traveled over to my personal life as well. And I admit, for a long period there were very few people with whom I felt comfortable letting into my life."

"Andrea was one of them."

She snorted as she shook her head. "She was more than that. Andrea was the one whose friendship reminded me that I didn't need to keep so many walls up all of the time." Sharon hummed thoughtfully, her eyes falling shut for a brief second. "I could go through every day reminding myself the reasons why I did my job – and the small, but important, differences I was making. I could tell myself as much as I wanted that I didn't take the hateful comments or nasty looks from fellow officers personally. But when Andrea entered my life, I realized something that I had spent too long convincing myself wasn't true. I missed having someone genuinely wanting to be around me. Someone who wasn't family, or only using me for their own personal gain in some way.

"Andrea made me happier than I had been in a long time, and I will never forget that. Yes, she was attracted to me and that was what connected us in the beginning. But that was never the focus of our relationship, it was never what motivated her actions. Andrea had – has always had – this - -" Sharon smiled to herself as she spoke, "- - strong desire to find ways to make me happy. She would drop by for lunch, or take me out after a difficult case. I'd mention a show I wanted to see, or an art exhibition..."

Sharon laughed softly, glancing at a silent Andy before continuing. He only listened, as if he wasn't sure what to say but didn't want her to stop either. The more Sharon spoke about Andrea, the calmer she felt, the lighter her voice became.

"She paid attention to even the things I didn't expect her to. It was surprising. When you're used to the majority of the people you interact with automatically having a negative attitude toward you, it's refreshing meeting a person who wants nothing more than to brighten up your day. In return, I found myself wanting to do the same for her.

"We had a natural connection, a type of bond that I can't recall ever having with anyone else before her. I was able to open up to her about topics I hadn't discussed with anyone in years, or at all, and she did the same." Sharon heard Andy shift and paused, eyebrow raising. When he said nothing, she dampened her lips and went on. "It wasn't just on a personal level. We worked well together whenever our paths crossed, and I respected her opinions when she offered them to me on professional matters because I knew I could count on her to consider different views and be unbiased. I admired her from very early on in our friendship," she admitted with a small smile.

"And now?" Andy asked slowly, not giving away any clear signs of how he was feeling.

Sharon looked down at her lap, at her fingers twisting together. She let out a slow breath and folded her hands between her thighs. "Now what?"

"It just sounds like..." Andy made a sound in his throat, but he let his unfinished statement hang in the air.

Sharon turned to face him and took a measured breath, looking into his deep brown eyes. Honesty. She wanted to get all of this out so he could be aware of it and they could decide what happened next for their relationship.

"After a while," Sharon started, feeling the quick beating of her heart accelerate, "our relationship did undergo some changes that I hadn't anticipated when Andrea and I first started spending time together. As I said before, we spoke about the mutual attraction between us–"

"Mutual," he said, tone lacking emotion.

Sharon hummed and nodded carefully. "Yes, mutual."

He nodded, too, processing the word. Despite Andy already knowing she was bisexual, she had never shared her feelings for Andrea with him. For the most part, she had not shared those with anyone other than Andrea herself. They were private and meant for the woman who she felt so strongly for, private just as their relationship was. There were others who were privy to the information, but the number of people who knew intimate details of their friendship was a rather small one and would remain as such until she or Andrea decided to change that.

"It hadn't started that way, but–"

Cutting her off, Andy offered a small smile that looked genuine, even if it failed to travel up to his eyes. "You saw something in her that you liked."

Sharon smiled back at Andy, reaching out to wrap her hand around his for a brief moment. He understood, and she knew why he did. It hadn't been exactly the same for the two of them, but it was similar. Her feelings for him hadn't come as easily as his did for her, and it hadn't been until after they'd gotten closer as friends that Sharon considered the possibility of something romantic between them. It hadn't been as intense as it was with Andrea, but there was, as Andy said, something in him, too, that she liked.

"There was a lot about Andrea that drew me in deeper," she responded honestly.

Andy rubbed the back of his neck, no longer meeting Sharon's eyes. "How deep?" he questioned quietly.

Sharon's abdominal muscles clenched, and her throat felt dry. She wasn't sure how to answer that question. Not because she didn't want to be truthful with him, but because she honestly didn't know. Her feelings for Andrea weren't simple enough to be put into a few words. What she felt for Andrea felt strong and deep enough to fill books with hundreds of thousands of words that still wouldn't fully express her intense and unconditional love for Andrea.

"You've said before that your friendship with - -" his jaw tightened, like it sometimes did when he was upset or angry, but he breathed out and relaxed a second later, clearing his throat before continuing. "You're closer to her than you've been with any of your other friends, even me before we were dating. Maybe closer than we are now that we are."

Sharon felt a small wave of guilt wash through her system, but she swallowed and ignored it. "I am. We've been friends for a very, very long time, Andy. I–"

He shook his head. "No, I just wanted to know how."

"How?" she inquired, brow lifting.

"Well." He waved his hand in the air and then brought that same hand to his hair, brushing the top of his head. "How close? What does that even mean?"

"Oh," she breathed out slowly, giving him a single nod of her head.

"I don't mean to pry, I just..." He breathed out loudly as he trailed off.

"No. I understand."

Sharon found it easier to move around as she spoke about some things, made her focus less on the way her stomach wouldn't settle and her fingers twitched. She stood from the bench and shoved her hands into her pockets, looking straight ahead of her as she slowly walked back and forth.

"There's no easy answer to that question. How close? Well, that depends on if you mean emotionally or physically. Emotionally, I'm closer to her than I've been to any other person that's entered my life. There's very little Andrea doesn't know about me, and that's only because what she doesn't know has never come up in conversation before. I'd like to believe the same could be said for what I know about Andrea. I feel most comfortable when I am with her, the most...at peace. I trust her with... Honestly, I trust her with everything – details from my past, my secrets, my life–"

"Your heart," Andy said knowingly. Sharon paused, noting that he looked at her as if he was realizing something he hadn't known before. To her surprise, he was also looking at her as if everything was starting to make sense and what he was discovering wasn't necessary something that bothered him.

"My heart," she repeated softly as she continued moving. "Physically." Sharon cleared her throat. "The stronger our bond grew to be, the more I felt for Andrea. The more I felt for her, the more open I became to new outlooks on life. She offered me a different view on a lot of things in life, in relationships, and after a while the way I viewed our friendship changed.

"Growing up, I'd been taught the proper ways to behave with friends, around boys I went to school and church with, around men. Andrea - -" Sharon smiled and laughed under her breath, shaking her head as a memory came to mind. "Andrea made me question why I needed to let someone else's view of what a friendship should and shouldn't be control the way ours was. She liked holding my hand when we would walk places, when we were out with our other friends, when we were alone. She hugged me longer than was necessary and knew that I enjoyed having my back rubbed when I was in a bad mood, and she would always offer to make me feel better. We..." Sharon stopped and leaned against a fence, looking at Andy's feet instead of into his eyes. "We sleep together," she said slowly.

"You, uh... You sleep together, as in..."

"Sleeping in the same bed," she answered, and then, after a pause, added, "mostly."

"Oh." Sharon looked up and saw Andy standing, hands deep in the pockets of his jogging pants as he furrowed his brow. "Oh," he repeated, this time sounding confused.

Sharon licked her lips and took a slow breath. "We've never, well - - Connection and love is what's at the core of our relationship. That's what has always been most important. Sexual desire is nowhere near as important to us as that. There have been times during the last ten years that we've... _explored_ those desires to a certain extent, but never has it gone past light touching."

When Andy stopped looking at her and frowned, Sharon sighed and closed her eyes. She was feeling nervous about his reaction, worried about what was going on through his head that he wasn't saying to her. She was careful about who she let in, who she shared private parts of her life with, and she was hoping she hadn't made a mistake believing Andy was someone she could share more of herself with.

"I don't understand."

Sharon slowly opened her eyes, preparing herself for the worst as her arm wrapped around her middle. "What is it that you don't understand?"

"Us." He sighed heavily, his entire body seeming to droop as if something weighty and large was pressing down on him.

Not expecting that, Sharon's body relaxed into the fence and her eyes softened as she asked, "What do you mean?"

"I always knew there was something between you and Hobbs, but... The way you talk about her..."

Sharon swallowed slowly, not looking away from him as she said what she could tell he was thinking. "I love her."

His face pinched a bit, but he didn't react badly to what she had said. In fact, he took it one step further and put words to emotions Sharon had been spending the last few months trying not to focus on. "It's not just that. You're in love with her," he said, "aren't you?"

"Andy, I–"

He smiled as he walked over to her, pulling his hands from his pockets and putting them on her arms. Perhaps with someone else it might have felt like they were trying to keep her there to confront her feelings, but she could see the understanding in his eyes that washed away all the other emotions that had been there throughout their conversation. He wasn't upset, or pushing, he was trying to show her that he understood. That more than the reactions she had anticipated made something inside of her ache, clench, and throb with raw emotions. She let out a shaky breath and slowly nodded her head while looking at him.

"I believe I am. No, I'm quite sure that I am," Sharon whispered, and suddenly it felt as though all the tension in her body was released. She felt lighter, and her heart no longer pounded against her ribcage. She could breathe.

"Then why..."

Sharon put her hands on top of Andy's arms and squeezed. "It's getting late," she said to him as she looked over his shoulder, "and cold. Let's return all of that and finish this conversation in my car." She didn't want to say that she needed a minute to herself, but she could tell he was reading between the lines and knew that's what she was asking for.

"Yeah, okay. I'll, uh, take care of everything and meet you there."

When Sharon was alone in her car, she let out a long breath and rested her head back on the headrest. That hadn't gone as she thought it would. Despite knowing she would have to open up and be honest with Andy, she hadn't expected _that_ would be something she spoke about with him. She spent so much time trying to not to think about it herself that she didn't think it would come up, and if it did, she certainly hadn't thought she would receive the reaction Andy gave her.

Sure, now maybe Andy would better understand why her relationship with Andrea meant so much to her. Perhaps she provided enough information to answer questions he had had for months. However, she knew there would be a new rush of curiosities to sweep through their relationship.

He now knew more about her friendship with Andrea, but where did the two of them stand now that he was privy to that new knowledge?

Sharon breathed in slowly.

Did she truly want this relationship with Andy to progress any further than it already had?

She exhaled just as slowly as she had inhaled.

Maybe she and Andy really were better as friends, she thought, watching out of the window as he walked towards her.

She breathed in slowly again.

Maybe her feelings for Andrea didn't need to be ignored and she could try talking to her about them instead.

She exhaled once more.

Maybe - -

Sharon's phone buzzed and interrupted her thoughts, vibrating in her jacket pocket. She sighed as she reached for it, watching Andy put stuff in his car. She retrieved the device and then brought it up to her face.

"Of course," she whispered to herself, reading Andrea's name on the screen as she opened the new text message.

 _Call me when you're available. Got something I want to talk to you about._

Andy knocked on the window and made her jump, her eyes leaving her phone and meeting his through the glass. She blindly unlocked the doors to let him in and didn't say a word until he was seated in the passenger seat.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about any of this sooner."

Andy looked at her with a confused expression on his tired face for a long moment and then sighed. "So, you and me?"

"I've enjoyed this," she answered instantly. It was the truth, but it was also an automatic answer. She looked down to her phone and thought about Andrea, wondered what she wanted to talk to her about.

"But you love her." It wasn't a question, or an accusation, just a fact. He was acknowledging, possibly coming to an understanding.

"I do."

"Then why are you dating me?"

Sharon should have expected it. It sounded like the most important question of all the possible inquiries he could have. And yet, she was surprised when he asked her and she didn't easily form an answer. It took her several moments to work through jumbled thoughts and tangled emotions. But when she answered, she knew what she said was the truth.

"When you first asked me out, I hadn't been sure. I thought about it a lot, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that you were someone that I could see myself being in a relationship with. I saw the potential. Regardless of what you think, that potential wasn't something I believed existed between Andrea and myself. She and I have been comfortable with the way our relationship was for years and she hadn't given me any reason to believe she wanted things to change.

"I don't expect you to understand how I can feel the way I do for Andrea and still consider that there might be something between us. You'd have to believe that Andrea doesn't share my feelings to even begin to see why I've made the choices I have. But I do want you to know that my feelings for you are genuine and have nothing to do with her."

Andy stayed quiet so long that Sharon was sure he wouldn't respond at all, but then he nodded and said: "So what now?"

Sharon didn't know. Sharon felt more unsure of herself now than she had going into this.

"I think - -" Sharon breathed out slowly, "- - you should take a few days to think about everything I've shared with you. And I..." She furrowed her brow as she looked at her phone. "I think there's someone else I need to talk to before I can make any further commitments in our relationship. I think it's what's best for everyone involved."

Andy agreed.

 _to be continued…_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Sorry about the delay. Until a few days ago I was without a laptop charger and unable to edit this chapter, so I'm sorry about that. Also, I _know_ I said Andrea, Sharon, and Andy would all be in this chapter. But after editing, that changed and is no longer the case. Hopefully y'all enjoy the chapter still. Thanks so much for sticking with me and this story!

9.

Andrea stripped off her tee shirt as she walked into the master bath, pulling it above her head and then tossing it towards the hamper on the other side of the room. She placed her cell phone down on the vanity and walked over to the tub, grabbing a lavender scented bath product from a drawer on the way. She'd sent Sharon a text message about ten minutes before deciding to have a soak in the tub, and now she was planning on relaxing with candles and a bubble bath while she waited for Sharon to call her. It was only Tuesday, but she felt the weight of the week on her shoulders like it was already Friday. She needed a little pick-me-up, a boost to her energy and mood alike, and a soothing bath always worked wonders for Andrea. Plus, she was surrounding herself with the scent of lavender and would find peace in the fragrance that Sharon normally smelled of whenever she stayed with Andrea.

Andrea sat down and reached over to turn on the water and prepare her bath. The sound of water rushing out of the faucet and into the fiberglass tub had an instant effect on her; her spine loosened and her shoulders lowered. Nothing quite compared to slipping into a tub of heated water and shutting her eyes to her surroundings, and she was looking forward to the serene quiet that she would be able to enjoy soon. After she finished pouring in the liquid that would create the rich foam that added to the delight of taking a bath, Andrea stood up and padded across the bathroom on bare feet. The tiles were cool, just like the air still was, and she wore only a pair of exercise shorts and a sports bra.

Humming to herself, Andrea went into one of the vanity drawers and searched through the odd mix of items for her lighter. Not finding it, Andrea shut the drawer and searched the other, once again not seeing it. Her humming stopped as she raked her fingers through her hair with both hands and spun around, looking towards the door that led to her bedroom. Then she remembered leaving the wand on the dresser the other night when she lit a few candles in her room. She let her hair fall down against her shoulders, making a mental note to clip it up after she lit the candles, and then went to retrieve the lighter from her bedroom.

Once the candles were lit and her hair was up, Andrea reached down to test the water that had filled up half of the tub. She swished her hand around and sighed, twisting the knobs a little to adjust the temperature to make it a bit warmer. She stood from the tub and brought over a few towels, for when she got out and to rest her head on while she was relaxing, and then grabbed her phone so that it would be there when Sharon called. A small smile crept onto her face when she thought of Sharon calling, and she checked to make sure she hadn't missed her call while getting everything ready. The sound of Sharon's voice would add a nice touch to the tranquility she was after.

When the bath was close to being ready, Andrea pulled off her sports bra and added it to the hamper. She rolled her shoulders and reached behind her to rub the spot between her shoulder blades that was always a little tense after a hard workout at the gym. Hooking her fingers in the waistband of her shorts, Andrea went to remove those too but stopped, hearing the sound of her doorbell ringing over the rush of water. She groaned in her throat; it was nearly nine-thirty at night, so she hadn't any clue who would be coming by that late, but she was already annoyed with them.

Andrea quickly shut the water off and grabbed a robe from the back of the door, hurrying to the front of the house as she closed it around her body and searched for the belt to tie it around her waist. She reached the door before discovering the belt was missing. She held it tightly in place instead and looked out through the peephole in the wood door to see who was on the other side of it. Not seeing anyone, Andrea frowned and was about to turn around when she heard a noise come from outside. So she looked again and felt a warmth spread through her body as she recognized the side of a familiar face.

She made quick work of the locks and yanked the door open. The woman on the other side jumped slightly, her hand to her chest as her head jerked up from the phone in her hand.

Sharon let out a soft puff of air and let her hand fall. Her lips twisted into an odd smile as she stuck her hands into her pockets with her phone and looked at Andrea. "I was calling you."

"When I said for you to call me, I meant when you got home. What are you doing here?" Andrea asked as she raked her eyes over Sharon and chuckled lightly in her throat. She blended into the night with her all black attire, but her green eyes soaked up the porch light's gleam and shone brightly behind Sharon's glasses.

Sharon's eyes were running along Andrea's body as well, an eyebrow raised as she met Andrea's eyes and cleared her throat. "You wanted me to call you, so I knew you would be awake. I was closer to your house than my place when I received your text, so I, I thought that..." Sharon licked her lips and dipped her head from one side to the other with a small shrugging motion.

Andrea laughed at the awkward and totally Sharon movement and let a grin take over her face, pulling at her cheeks and spilling out unadulterated joy. She stepped back, still holding her robe closed with the hand that wasn't wrapped around the door handle. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what I wanted to talk to you about wasn't anything serious. You didn't have to come here for that."

Sharon hummed and walked into the dark house that was only lit by the light from the other side of the shutting door. "I wanted to see you," Sharon said simply, taking off her jacket while looking around the foyer and to the living room.

"I was in the bathroom," she shared, answering the silent question. "I was about to take a bath."

Sharon hung her jacket in the coat closet slowly, and Andrea watched her silently. She looked tired, perhaps even more tired than Andrea was feeling. Sharon leaned her hand against the wall and lifted up one foot to unzip her boot and then did the other, and then those too were placed in the closet. Sharon was tidy and organized, and Andrea had always been intrigued by small things she did – like how she neatly placed her shoes on the rack and then straightened out the ones Andrea had put there herself before closing the closet door.

"Let me make you some tea," Andrea said as she started walking to the kitchen. "Or would you like a glass of wine? Maybe some whiskey?"

Sharon followed her past the living room and into the kitchen, switching on the lights when Andrea walked past them without doing so. "Hmm. Is that an invitation to stay?"

Andrea smiled, her back to Sharon as she reached for a glass. An invitation to stay the night usually did come when she offered Sharon a drink at a late hour, but it honestly hadn't crossed her mind at that moment. However, once the idea was in her head, she knew that if Sharon wanted to stay that she would welcome Sharon into her bed without hesitation. It had to be what Sharon wanted, though.

"Rusty's gone to sleep already. He said he has an early start in the morning and he had a headache."

"You spoke to Rusty?" Sharon questioned in a surprised tone.

"I called the house phone before texting you. He said you were with Andy, so I spoke to him for a little while before texting you so I didn't interrupt your - -" Andrea paused, considering the word 'date' but then remembering the tired look on Sharon's face that made her think that maybe that wasn't why she had been with Andy, "- - time with him." Sharon hummed, and Andrea turned around to face her, back against the counter. She rested her hands beside her and her robe fell open, revealing a long, vertical strip of skin down the middle of her upper body. "It's late, you're already here. So, if you wanted it to be, that was an invitation for you to stay."

"No to the drink – thank you, though – but yes, I would like to spend the night with you." Sharon looked at Andrea thoughtfully for a moment, her lips pressed tightly together as she studied Andrea. "If that's not too much for you, of course. That's not the only reason I came here. I don't want you to–"

Andrea waved her hand dismissively. "Since when do I need an explanation for why you're here? I'm more than happy to have you here, just for a cup of tea or for the night, as long as it's what you want."

Sharon nodded her head slightly, walking towards the refrigerator. "What you said about getting in the way of my relationship with Andy..." Sharon looked meaningfully at her, eyebrows raised as she trailed off.

"Is you spending the night with me going to be an issue?" Andrea asked. She wouldn't take back her invitation regardless of what Sharon's answer was, but she would add this to the mental list she'd been composing the last few days – last few months, really – of things she need to be more careful with.

"No," Sharon responded easily, answer simple. Andrea tilted her head and lifted an eyebrow, and Sharon shook her head, smiling lightly. "I want to be here with you tonight. I need it." She pulled the freezer door towards her and sighed softly. "I understand that you don't want to cause any unnecessary friction between Andy and I, so I wouldn't purposely do something that would result in you thinking you have."

Sharon pulled out a small carton of cookie dough ice cream and held it up so Andrea could see. "Ice cream instead of alcohol," Andrea mused, turning to get a spoon out of the silverware drawer. "Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a long night?"

Sharon closed the door with her hip and took the spoon that was handed to her. "What do you mean?"

Andrea tilted her head to the ice cream Sharon was opening. "Something's on your mind. I know the signs, and you're eating ice cream, so it's not anything good."

Sharon rolled her eyes as she dug the spoon into the carton, leaning against the bar while looking at Andrea. "Didn't you say something about taking a bath?" She slowly swept her eyes over Andrea, lingering where the robe was open, and dampened her lips before tearing her gaze away and focusing on the ice cream in front of her. "Don't let me get in the way of your plans for the night. I can entertain myself for a little while."

"Or you can join me," Andrea said, smirking when Sharon's eyes snapped back up to look at her. She laughed and pushed herself away from the counter. Sharon stared at Andrea with a bit of color flushing her cheeks, and Andrea moved over to Sharon so she could whisper into her ear. "In the bathroom, I meant."

Sharon pushed Andrea's side and let out a shaky breath. "I knew what you meant." Her cheeks still visibly warmed.

Andrea hummed, grinning as she stole Sharon's spoon and a mouthful of the ice cream. Sharon's hand lingered on her bare skin, and she was trying to ignore how Sharon's touch made heat roll through her body in heavy waves. That warmth, though, only increased when Sharon licked her lips while watching Andrea pull the spoon from between her own.

Andrea cleared her throat and returned the spoon to the ice cream, moving away from Sharon to put some distance between them. "Uhm." She pulled at her robe and then decided to pull it close over her body. Andrea had never had any problems being undressed around Sharon. She was comfortable in her skin and stopped looking at the body as something purely sexual a long time ago. But there was something undeniably sexual about the way she reacted to Sharon, and she knew it was best to get control of herself while she still could.

Sharon straightened up and averted her eyes. "Bath, Andrea. Go take it."

"Right."

. . .

After sending Rusty a text message to let him know where she was, Sharon turned off the kitchen light and made her way to Andrea's bedroom. She passed the framed black and white prints that hung on the cream walls in the hallway, photographs taken by Andrea while visiting various places around the world, and entered the dimly lit bedroom. Her eyes immediately focused on the open bathroom door, but she headed towards the closet on the other side of the room instead of following the magnetic pull that tried bringing her to Andrea.

"Did you have dinner?" Sharon heard as she opened the door to the walk-in closet.

Sharon looked over her shoulder, feeling that pull like an actual tug this time. She took in a deep breath and counted down from five before letting it out. "It's nearly ten o'clock."

"Not what I asked you."

Sharon rolled her eyes affectionately and turned back to the closet, giving her answer before walking in and pulling the string for the light. "I did not have dinner, no."

Andrea hummed and there was a long pause before she spoke again. "Would you like me to make you something after I finish in here?"

Sharon pushed through the few suits and dresses she had in Andrea's closet and picked out a pantsuit that was paired with a lilac blouse. She walked over to the bathroom after laying it on the bed, breathing in the calming scent of lavender with a knowing smirk on her lips. Andrea had been thinking about her, had missed her, and she knew that only from the scent that floated in the air. She'd driven from the batting cages to Andrea's house without hesitation, knowing that she needed to be with her – in a sense, she had needed to recharge after the conversation she had with Andy. So knowing that Andrea had been thinking about her, it made her feel as though she had made the right choice showing up at Andrea's house.

She leaned against the doorjamb with her head tilted to the side. Andrea was facing away from her, her arms draped over the edges of the tub. "I'm not hungry, but thank you," she told Andrea quietly, not wanting to destroy the peaceful atmosphere.

"If you change your mind, let me know."

Andrea turned her head sideways and smiled at her. It was an easy smile that grew slowly, the kind that made Sharon's heart beat with a little extra force. It was _her_ smile, the smile Andrea gave to Sharon and nobody else. Sharon smiled back automatically, unable to hide how much she adored the woman looking at her. She could feel all her emotions racing forward, ready to be released, wanting to be set free so Andrea knew how deeply she was loved.

 _Not yet_ , she reminded herself. On the way to Andrea's house Sharon had thought about how best to not only bring up her own feelings but how to find out exactly what Andrea's were. Part of her wanted to confirm what she already knew so that she could smooth things out with Andy, but there was a much larger part of Sharon that was hoping – hoping more than she had in months – that she was wrong. It was hard to believe she was, especially with Andrea constantly pushing her towards Andy, even if she was doing so subtly and because she was trying to make sure Sharon went after what Andrea believed her heart wanted. But, she did, she hoped more than she knew she should.

"How about you come in here and keep me company," Andrea requested, and Sharon pushed herself off the doorframe and walked into the bathroom without hesitation.

. . .

Andrea swished her hand in the water and then brought it up to the bubbles, collecting some of them on her fingers. "I spoke to my father earlier today," Andrea said while glancing up and flicking the white foam towards Sharon.

Sharon's eyes crinkled at the edges as she let out a small laugh, and Andrea let her body sink lower into the water as she looked at Sharon. Most of the bubbles floated back down to the tub like fluffy snow, but a few fell on Sharon's thigh. She swept her fingers through them and flicked them to the tub herself. She settled against the wall, one leg stretched out on the tiled area that surrounded the tub, the other bent at the knee with her bare foot resting on the bath mat, and hummed. She was starting to look more relaxed, some of the tiredness from when she arrived having left her eyes, Andrea noticed with a pleased smile.

"And how is Avi doing these days?" Sharon questioned softly, leaning her head back against the soft-gray tiled wall.

"We spent most of the conversation talking numbers." Andrea shrugged her shoulders a little. "Stock," she said needlessly, knowing Sharon already knew what she had meant. "He gained 40 thousand, lost 25 somewhere else. For a man who started with nothing, it still astonishes me that he makes losing thousands of dollars in a matter of seconds seem like he's dropped pocket change on the street."

"Investing is..."

"Fancy gambling," Andrea grumbled, rolling her eyes. Sharon's mouth quirked at the corner. They'd had this conversation many times before. Avraham Hobbs' way of making a little extra money had turned into his main source of income over the last decade, and Andrea often worried about him investing too much or doing so without making smart decisions. "Anyway. The bookstore was featured in an article that talked about the top places to bring young children. He said that profits for the third quarter were more than double what they have been for the past two years, so that was really great hearing."

"Oh, that's wonderful. It'll soon be the fortieth year since they opened doors, won't it?"

Andrea hummed, nodding her head with a small smile. She felt a burst of warmth in her chest whenever Sharon made comments that proved she not only listened but paid attention to the things Andrea shared with her.

"I think my mother would be happy to know the store is still doing well. I'm sure that's the only reason he keeps it open, you know, for her. He never did show much interest in it until she had passed away. Everybody knew he had only opened it to make her happy – put almost everything we had into making her dreams come true."

Andrea's mother, Catherine Hobbs, had had such a great love for books when she was alive and a need to share that love with those around her. Books were like magic, Andrea remembered being told as a young child, and they could take you on hundreds of journeys without you having to leave the comfort of your home. The bookstore had been more like a second home to Catherine Hobbs than a place of business. Kids from the neighborhood would come at the end of their school days for story time or to pick out new books to buy and bring home, and Andrea's mother would talk and talk about literature until it was time to close for the day. Afterwards, she would bring the conversations to Andrea before their nightly reading routine began.

"You're a lot like him," Sharon said thoughtfully, and Andrea laughed.

"My father and I are nothing alike," she denied.

Sharon raised a challenging eyebrow. "Oh, no?! You learned how to love from him, Andrea. _You love like him_ ," she said, stressing the last sentence as a light flush started to appear on her cheeks. "You say it yourself all the time how he always put making your mother happy above everything else. Isn't that the same thing you do?"

Andrea held Sharon's gaze, feeling the weight of her words like a ton of bricks low in her belly. She didn't know why, but what Sharon said sounded like an accusation. It also sounded like she was daring Andrea to prove her wrong.

Sharon let out a slow breath and looked away, letting her hand dip into Andrea's bath water. "That's how you are with me, at least," she said softly.

"I guess you have a point there," Andrea agreed slowly, moving her leg so it brushed against Sharon's hand. Sharon hummed and glanced up at Andrea while letting her fingers purposely run up Andrea's shin, tracing a line up to her knee.

"If I wanted a bookstore, Andrea–"

Andrea leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "If you wanted a bookstore, we'd be out looking at locations before the week was up."

Sharon laughed and pushed Andrea's leg away from her. Andrea didn't laugh, because in a way she was being serious. Not about bookstores – not about purchases of any kind – but about giving Sharon what she wanted. Andrea meant it, always meant it, and so she didn't laugh. She let her heart beat faster than it should as she listened to the sound of Sharon's hand idly moving through the sudsy water.

"While I appreciate the offer, that isn't what I was going to say. What I was going to say was, if you thought I wanted a bookstore, I wouldn't want you to give up everything to make sure I could have it. I would prefer finding a way to make sure you didn't have to lose anything in the process of making me happy."

Andrea peeked one eye open. Sharon wasn't looking at her, but she could tell she was thinking hard on something. "Are we still talking about bookstores?" Andrea wondered aloud.

Sharon gave her a small shake of her head, but she did not elaborate.

"When you texted me earlier, you said there was something you wanted to talk about," she prompted instead, changing the course of their conversation.

Andrea sighed a little, but she didn't push Sharon to explain what was going on in her head. She sat up, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. The foamy bubbles slid down her back and she shivered, resting her head on the tops of her knees as she looked at Sharon, breasts pushed against her thighs.

"About my phone call, actually. My dad reminded me that I told him last year that I would be going home this Thanksgiving – and I know we usually spend the holiday together if we're not working."

"Oh," Sharon said breathily. She sounded relieved, surprised. She wiped her wet hand on her thigh and then readjusted, looking at Andrea with a warm smile. "You're going to spend some time with your family. That should be nice." Andrea hummed in somewhat agreement. "Were you worried I'd try to keep you here with me?" she teased, a laugh mixing into her words.

Andrea listened to the sound bounce off the walls for a moment before she shook her head in the negative. "The reason I wanted to talk to you was because I didn't even know what your plans were this year, and I hadn't realized that until my father asked if I would still be flying over there."

"What do you mean you didn't know my plans? Of course you know what my plans were, Andrea. Like you said, we spend that day together," she said naturally, her brow furrowing just a bit. "Early dinner here, hike to our usual spot to watch the sunset, come back for dessert, and then we'd most likely watch a movie or two that Rusty will complain about endlessly but be absorbed–"

"Andy." Andrea felt a painful tug in her chest as she blurted out his name and wiped off the nostalgic smile that had taken over Sharon's face. "I thought you might want to spend this Thanksgiving with him. We didn't talk about it–"

"Because I hadn't considered it," Sharon said honestly, frowning as she rubbed her hands down her thighs.

"Well, I didn't want to be presumptuous and think that you were still planning on being with me for the holiday. So I had to ask."

Sharon tilted her head, her eyes dimming, her frown deepening. "You're going to New York for Thanksgiving, though, so I guess what I had planned on doing doesn't make much of a difference now."

Andrea closed her eyes, sighing into her knees as she lowered her head. Should she tell Sharon the reason she had wanted to talk to her was because she wanted to know if Sharon and Rusty would like to join her? Or should she just forget that she had even let the idea cross her mind?

"I don't think Andy and I will be spending Thanksgiving together," Sharon said after a few silent moments, and Andrea lifted her head back up to look at Sharon. Sharon looked...sad and tired, just like she had when Andrea let her into the house. "In fact, I've been thinking that Andy and I might not be able to make our relationship work anymore."

"What?" Andrea tried not to sound so surprised, but the word rushed out of her like air leaving a balloon that had been popped by something pointy. "I mean, what happened?" she asked in a softer voice, concerned.

"We spoke about a few things earlier in the night. While I drove here, I did a lot of thinking and..." Sharon shook her head and covered her mouth while clearing her throat. "I think it's unfair of me to expect him to understand, well, quite a few things, things I don't think will change but I believe will continue to be an issue for–"

"Things?" Andrea reached out and took Sharon's hand, waiting for the other woman's eyes to meet her own before she squeezed and brushed her wet finger over hard bones. "What things? What's going on?"

Sharon opened her mouth, her eyes appearing to be distant although she faced Andrea. However, she did not say anything. She shut her mouth and swallowed, a strangled sound forming in her throat instead of words.

"Is it..." Andrea swallowed, too, loudly, her eyes dropping down to their hands. Their hands, laced together now, Sharon's fingers holding on tight to hers. Their hands, placed on Sharon's lap as she sat outside of the tub while Andrea sat naked inside of it. Their hands, connected, like they were, together, always together, wrapped in one another, nearly inseparable. "Oh," she breathed out, slowly moving her eyes up to Sharon's face.

Andrea started pulling her hand away from Sharon, and Sharon's eyes widened, her grip tightening on Andrea's fingers. "Please don't," she whispered, her breath suddenly shaky. "Please. Don't do that." Her plea was heavy, her eyes full of emotions that swirled together in the deep pools of green too quickly for Andrea to make a complete list of them in her mind. But Andrea saw it, the pain, the hurt, and she let her hand stay in Sharon's and squeezed back with just as much force as Sharon was.

"What - -" Andrea cleared her throat and took a steadying breath, looking down at their hands once again and feeling guilty, feeling as though she was doing something she shouldn't even though all she was doing was holding Sharon's hand because her friend needed it.

"I'm suddenly feeling very tired," Sharon said, closing her eyes and removing her glasses with the hand that wasn't holding on to Andrea's.

"Okay," Andrea said, understanding what Sharon wasn't saying. They weren't going to talk about it, they wouldn't be discussing her conversation with Andy. Usually Andrea was certain they would just revisit topics like these at a later time, but there was something about how exhausted Sharon looked, how sad her eyes had been, that made Andrea think this was something Sharon didn't want to discuss at all. "Do you still want to stay–"

"I wouldn't have driven here if I didn't want to spend the night with you, Andrea. Please..."

Andrea ignored her nakedness as she moved to her knees in the tub. The air was warm enough and her mind was preoccupied, so she barely noticed the goose bumps that broke out on her skin as she brought her wet hand to Sharon's face without hesitation and caressed her cheek. In that moment she stopped thinking about being too much, doing too much, and she read the signs that Sharon was giving her. She chose to draw the line at times for Sharon's benefit, always at times she thought it would be best for Sharon. But right then, with Sharon's pained expression and hand holding hers tight tight tight, Andrea knew pulling back wasn't what was best for Sharon. That wasn't what Sharon needed.

"Come here," she whispered, sliding her hand down Sharon's neck, moving it to curve behind her. "Come here," she said more urgently, pulling Sharon towards her, embracing her, their hands only separating when Sharon pulled her own away to clutch Andrea's naked, wet shoulder. Sharon's clothed body pressed into hers, leaning down so they could be as close as possible. The water on her skin bled through Sharon's shirt, and Sharon's warmth wrapped around her, blew against her skin as Sharon exhaled and pulled her tighter.

. . .

It was much later in the night when Sharon finally felt like she could breathe properly. They were in the bed, dressed and under the covers, facing one another while on their sides. Andrea was studying her face, tracing the lines that etched her skin like she could read them to figure out what was wrong with Sharon. She doubted Andrea could tell, but she knew Andrea would find a way to make her at least feel more comfortable in that moment – just as she had in the bathroom without Sharon having to tell her anything. She had needed that hug, had needed it since before she arrived, and somehow Andrea had known that. Andrea often figured out what she needed – but sometimes she overthought things and ended up taking away what she wanted in order to give Sharon what Andrea thought she needed.

"Is that why you're here? Because of your conversation with Andy?" Andrea asked softly, brushing Sharon's hair behind her ear and then letting her hand settle on the bed between them.

"In a sense – but I'm here because I wanted to be with you." In the quiet bedroom, there were never any reasons to hold back in the past. Their bedrooms had been where they could forget about everything else, about other people's opinion on their friendship, about stressors, about...everything. Sharon felt safe enough in Andrea's bed to let her heart be open, to be vulnerable, to let Andrea see the conflicting emotions that battled inside of her. "I came to your house because of the conversation I had with Andy, but I'm in your bed because I needed the comfort. I needed you."

Andrea's eyes shut and she breathed in slowly. Sharon lifted her hand from the bed and gently ran the back of her fingers over Andrea's cheek, her skin warm and smooth. Andrea exhaled her breath loudly, letting it puff out against Sharon's hand.

"I don't know how to do this," she said in a small voice, her eyes squeezed tightly.

Sharon brushed her thumb at the edge of Andrea's eye and down her cheek as she asked, "Do what?"

"I want to hold you," Andrea said softly, letting her eyes open. Sharon's breath rushed out when she noticed how grayish-blue eyes glittered in the moonlit room, unshed tears making them wet. "I want to comfort you in ways I'm used to – I want to be able to touch you and hug you without feeling like I'm disrespecting your relationship with Andy."

Sharon's heart ached in her chest, like someone was squeezing it in their fist. She realized she had probably made a mistake showing up at Andrea's house. It was selfish of her, and now she could see how she was hurting Andrea. She needed to be with Andrea, but Andrea needed the opposite. Andrea needed space. Andrea needed–

Andrea sniffed, but Sharon realized that it was her whose eyes started to release tears. Her heart was full and heavy in her chest, and her mind was racing with thoughts. The closer she and Andy would get, the more space Andrea would want to put between the two of them. It did not matter if Andy accepted Sharon's feelings for Andrea, or if Andy and she could somehow make it through this rough patch. Andrea wasn't comfortable being so close to her when she was dating someone else, and that scared Sharon. She worried that Andrea would keep pushing her to Andy, would keep stepping back for the sake of Sharon's _happiness_. She worried that one day Andrea would be more a memory, a ghost, than the best friend who was always there in her life. It was just a thought, the worst outcome out of a long list of possibilities her mind had come up with, but that did not stop her from releasing a small sob as her eyes stung and tears slid down either side of her face while she rolled over to her back.

"Sharon?" Andrea lifted up on her arm, looking at her with concern.

Sharon couldn't look back at her. She rubbed her hand across her face, wiped roughly at her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice cracking a little, furiously wiping her face.

"Hey," Andrea said sweetly, grabbing one wrist, bringing her hand down to the mattress, and then going for the other. "What are you apologizing for? What's wrong?"

Sharon let out a heavy breath. A short mirthless laugh followed it as she blinked away the tears in her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, feeling Andrea's eyes on the side of her face. "I shouldn't have come here. I wanted to see you, but I didn't consider that you might not want the same thing."

Andrea's hand loosened on her wrist slowly, and then she released it completely to sit up in the bed. She switched the light on, and Sharon turned away from her and slid her hand over her face. "No, don't do that to me, Sharon." Andrea put her hand on Sharon's shoulder, but she didn't turn her herself. "Please look at me. I want to talk to you."

"Andrea."

She sighed. "Honey, I'm not going to talk to your back." Sharon took several moments to just breathe before she rolled back over, her eyes focused on Andrea's lap instead of her friend's face. "Now, why would you think I don't want to see you?"

Sharon licked her lips and closed her eyes. "That isn't exactly what I meant."

"Then tell me what you meant," Andrea requested softly.

Sharon felt a small finger brush against her hand, which she had bunched the sheet in. Sharon relaxed her hand slowly, and Andrea's finger traced the side of it until Sharon opened her hand up and Andrea could wrap hers over it. She breathed in, allowing herself to find that peace she felt with Andrea, that warmth that soothed her. She allowed her thoughts to be quieted by the mere presence of the other woman.

"You made your needs explicit – space, boundaries..."

"That didn't mean I didn't want you to come here anymore, or that you aren't welcomed here. And it certainly didn't mean that I don't want you here, Sharon. When I said I'm more than happy to have you here with me, I meant that."

"Then what – I don't like upsetting you, and I–"

"You haven't," Andrea insisted, squeezing her hand. "Look at me."

"Andrea," Sharon whispered, like a plea, although she opened her eyes and looked at Andrea, into her deep, deep eyes.

"If I'm upset with anyone, it's myself for not being able to find the right balance between being your support and stepping back to allow you the chance to be happy with Andy." Andrea raked her fingers through her hair and bit her lip, breathing out through her nose. "You've done nothing to upset me."

"I really wish you would stop saying that," Sharon said softly, pulling her hand away from Andrea's so she could sit up. Andrea looked confused, and Sharon sighed. "You want me to be happy with Andy. I understand that. I–"

"No, I want you to be happy," she said, her voice laden with deep emotions. "You could choose anybody to be happy with. I just want you to know that I'm fully supportive of whomever you want that person to be as long as they treat you properly."

Sharon groaned out loud, and this time Andrea looked at her with concern in her eyes. Sharon usually didn't get frustrated with Andrea, hardly ever, but she was a bit frustrated in that moment. Perhaps she was more frustrated with herself, though. "I thought you understood this when I told you the other day: you make me happy. You, Andrea. You make me happy."

Andrea stared at her unblinkingly, and Sharon took a chance and lifted her trembling hand to touch her face. Andrea's breath shook as it was released. "I know," she whispered.

Sharon shook her head, running her fingers across Andrea's jawline. She stopped at her chin and sighed, looking down at Andrea's mouth. "You don't, not fully. If you did, you would stop trying to give me space to find happiness I already know he– nobody else can make me feel the way you do."

"Sharon?" Andrea's voice was soft, so very soft, and her eyes were uncertain – but hopeful, hopeful like she knew what Sharon wanted to tell her and she wanted to hear it. She looked hopeful like she knew. _Knew_. "Are you–"

"Andrea I–" Sharon started saying at the same time Andrea spoke.

They let out small laughs that cut through the tension that was building between them. Andrea reached up and covered Sharon's hand, holding it in her own. "I want to say something to you, Sharon, but I don't want you to respond to it right now."

Sharon's brow furrowed, and her head tilted, but she nodded after a moment. "O-kay."

"I don't want to make any assumptions, but I think I know what you're trying to tell me."

"You do?"

Andrea pressed her lips together, hummed thoughtfully, and then nodded. "I do. I'm almost certain that I know. And if I'm right, it's something you think I might want to hear." Sharon gave her a half-nod, and that hopeful look in her eyes brightened. "But, Sharon, don't. Don't say it."

Sharon's heart had been beating so quickly in her chest that it physically hurt her when it came to a sudden stop and dropped. "Don't," Sharon repeated, pulling her hand away from Andrea's like she and been burnt by it.

Andrea quickly reached for it and pulled it back into her own. "Not yet. If you're about to tell me what I think you're going to tell me, I want you to be sure you want to say it. Because I do, I want to hear what you have to say. I just need you to be sure of it first."

Sharon looked down to their hands, watched Andrea slide her fingers between her own. "Andrea, I'm already sure."

Andrea hummed slowly. "Well, if you're sure, then you need to–"

"Andy," Sharon said.

"Andy," Andrea repeated with a small nod.

 _to be continued..._


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** First update for this story of the year! Hopefully y'all think it's a good one. Thanks again, so very much, for the lovely reviews and messages you've sent me.

10.

"You're going to regret not sleeping in the morning."

Andrea had been so lost in her thoughts that it took a while for her to realize that Sharon had spoken to her, that Sharon was awake. It had been so quiet in the bedroom for so long, only the sound of Sharon breathing against her neck. Everything was still, as if time had stopped to allow her the opportunity to work through the thoughts that fought each other for Andrea's attention. Except, Andrea saw when she opened her eyes and the neon lights on her alarm clock told her it was almost two o'clock, time had not stopped at all. She had been laying there for hours, thinking.

She slid across the bed, towards the middle, deeper into Sharon's embrace, and looked over her shoulder to find Sharon's hand. Sharon held it out for her and Andrea slid her palm over the back of Sharon's hand, feeling the pressure of bones gliding across her skin as their fingers weaved their way into each other's. Andrea pulled Sharon's arm around her middle, elbows bent as their clasped hands laid beside Andrea's face. Sharon brushed her nose against the back of Andrea's neck and exhaled softly, moving closer, seeming to bury herself in Andrea and breathe her in all at once. Andrea shut her eyes and let out an answering breath, just as soft, content.

Everything was still once again, quiet, calm. She could sleep. She could listen to the even sounds of Sharon's breathing and let her own follow the pattern of soft inhalations and long exhalations. She could relax, her shoulders loose, her body warm with Sharon behind her. She could - -

 _"You make me happy."_

She couldn't stop thinking!

Andrea shifted, her face pinching around her eyes and mouth. Sharon mumbled against her and slid a leg over Andrea's, holding her close, most likely half-asleep still. Andrea sighed softly and tried relaxing again. She just needed a few minutes of peace in her head and she could drift off. She could still get four hours of sleep – there'd been plenty of nights where even that many was a miracle for her – if her overactive brain would just shut down for a few minutes.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath–

 _"Nobody else can make me feel the way you do."_

Andrea's heart started beating quickly, a war drum, pounding so harshly that she could feel every hard thump. When Sharon caressed her cheek before saying those words, her heart had beat with the same ferocity. It had hammered away at her chest as if trying to break through. Her brain started racing, clicking together pieces, bringing forth memories, reminding her of the way Sharon had looked at Andrea the night she told her about Andy asking her out and had hinted there might be someone else she was more interested in – the same way Sharon had looked at her last Saturday after they left Fernando's house and they sat in Sharon's car, where Sharon had caressed her face in a similar way.

Sharon's hand pulling away from her own made Andrea's attention focus on the present. She didn't quite register what was happening at first, not until after Sharon had guided her to lay on her stomach and she could feel the solid weight of Sharon's body on her butt. Her eyes opened, as did her mouth, but both closed upon feeling Sharon's hands sliding up her back to grab her shoulders.

"How's that?" Sharon questioned as she started to massage Andrea's shoulders. Her voice was raspy from sleep as she spoke, but her hands moved strongly as though she hadn't just woken up, worked into Andrea's flesh and muscles with expert pressure.

"Completely unnecessary," she mumbled into the pillow she was sinking into. Sharon hummed and rolled the heels of her hands in circles, and Andrea groaned quietly. Her body was like putty in Sharon's hands just like that.

A throaty chuckle came from above her, and Sharon shifted and started moving her hands down Andrea's back until she was at the hem of her shirt. She rolled her thumbs on either side of Andrea's spine and slipped her fingers around to Andrea's front and moved in wider circles.

"You've been awake this whole time, haven't you?" Sharon asked her softly, concern evident in her tone. Andrea went to lift her head to look over her shoulder, but Sharon reached up with one of her hands and pushed her back down before she could move all the way. "I'm trying to help you fall asleep. It would be counterproductive if you decided to start moving around while I'm trying to get you to relax."

Andrea sighed loudly, but she smiled as she then took in a long breath and quietly let out a puff of air. "I've been thinking," she whispered.

Sharon snorted. "I could tell."

Sharon leaned over her, pressing her weight down against Andrea's back. "What, did my oh-so-loud thoughts wake you?" she asked, listening to the nightstand's drawer open and Sharon grunt as she stretched her body a bit more.

A moment or two after Sharon had sat back up, Andrea let out a soft breath as her shirt was worked up to her breasts and Sharon's fingers caressed her bare skin. She hissed as lotion was squirted straight onto her skin – she prefered it that way, enjoyed feeling it warm between Sharon's hands and her body – and then stifled a low groan as Sharon started rubbing the scented lotion into her skin. It smelled of melons, sweet but not overpowering, and she breathed in the smell as she relaxed further.

"Thank you," Andrea whispered.

Sharon's hands paused on her back, palms at her ribs. "If you couldn't sleep, Andrea, you know you could have said something to me. I would have done this for you hours ago if I had known you needed it."

Andrea nodded against the pillow, knowing from past experience than Sharon would do what she could to help Andrea with her sleeping issues. "I didn't want to–"

"Uh-uh." Sharon's hands started moving again. "Stop worrying about inconveniencing me," she said seriously, leaving no room for Andrea to argue that that wasn't what she was doing. It wouldn't be worth it trying to deny what they both knew, anyway. "I think you forget sometimes that, just like my well-being is a top priority for you, yours is for me. And, honestly, sweetheart, you're cranky enough in the morning when you get a goodnight's sleep. You're almost impossible when you're sleep-deprived."

"Hey!" Andrea moved her hips and raised up a bit beneath Sharon, throwing her a little off balance. Sharon chuckled quietly and locked her thighs against Andrea's sides.

The room fell silent for a minute, and Andrea breathed in slowly and re-shut her eyes. Sharon's hands started moving in long strokes up from her lower back to her shoulder blades, and then back down to start over the journey once again. Her pressure increased on her upstrokes, working into Andrea's muscles and flesh, and then became featherlight as she let the tips of her fingers flutter downward. And she hummed. Andrea didn't notice it at first, the soft sound in Sharon's throat, but as Andrea started to relax more, started to feel herself drifting closer to the sleep that had been impossible to reach, Sharon's melodic humming became more noticeable. It was low and soothing, and Andrea felt it wrap around her like a safety blanket. Soon it was all she could hear, no thoughts, no outside noises, just the sound of Sharon helping her fall asleep.

. . .

Sharon and Andrea saw very little of each other in the days that followed that very important night. When Sharon arrived to work Wednesday morning, it had been to the news that they had just received an anonymous tip from someone claiming to know where they could find the person responsible for the death of a news anchor whose murder they had been investigating for the last week without any new leads. It was all a blur of phone calls, interviews, manhunts, and paperwork for the next three and a half days. In the back of her mind she knew she needed to talk to Andy about their relationship, but her personal life had needed to take a backseat as the hectic workdays bled into one another and she had so little time for herself. What time she did have she spent trying to sleep enough hours to properly function the next day and catching up with Rusty and her other two children over the phone for a few minutes.

On Thursday Sharon had stepped out for some much-needed fresh air. She had offered to do a lunch run for the team, as everyone was either tied to their phone or already out and on their way back with the suspect they had finally located after searching for over 24 hours. Andrea had sent her a text that morning to see how she was doing and to let her know she would be in and out of meetings that day. Sharon had been about to respond to the text when her phone started ringing in her hand, and she had never remembered to go back and send her a quick response. So while picking up food for her team, she had also ordered something for Andrea, which she got first and walked over to Andrea's office while they continued working on her large order.

Andrea had not been there – had just stepped out two minutes before Sharon arrived, she'd been told – so Sharon tied the bag up and stole a sticky note from Andrea's desk, wrote the DDA's name on it, and then put it in the breakroom. She sent Andrea a text as she walked back to collect the rest of the food she had ordered, letting Andrea know she had brought her over something to eat. And then, as an afterthought while waiting for everything to be bagged for her, she sent another text saying that she hoped Andrea was having a good day and that hopefully they could talk later that night since she had missed Andrea's call the previous night.

However, once again, Sharon found herself unable to take Andrea's call when her cell phone rang and she was in the middle of a conversation with Chief Taylor about the hours they were working and his worries about overtime. She had had a headache by the end of it all, and it was easy to let checking her phone slip her mind when she and everyone around her was working hard on trying to find evidence that connected their cocky suspect to the murder he spoke of with pride but denied having anything to do with.

Friday, Sharon had been in an interview when Andrea stopped by, so she hadn't seen her. But when she stepped out of the room, Andy was waiting for her with a cup in his hand and unreadable expression on his face. She had accepted the cup with a sigh, and before the thanks was even out of her mouth she had known it was not him who had bought the hot drink for her. The fragrant tea was one she liked when she was under a lot of stress, but she knew Andy didn't know that – he usually gave her black tea, which she enjoyed as well but was not her preference. He had told her Andrea stopped by with it, added in that she looked disappointed that she couldn't see Sharon for herself but she had needed to rush out and Sharon had been busy. Sharon felt a wave of guilt wash over her as she leaned against the wall with the cup cradled in her hands, held up to her nose so she could breathe in the soothing scent. Guilt for what, she wasn't exactly sure at that moment, but the look in Andy's eyes saddened her and thinking of every failed attempt Andrea and she had made to get in a little time with each other only worsened that sadness.

Friday night Sharon had fallen asleep as soon as she laid down in bed, her phone clutched in her hand and the clothes she wore not yet taken off. Exhaustion had won a battle she hadn't known she was fighting, and Andrea did not receive the phone call Sharon had planned on making before she went to sleep. When she awoke in the middle of the night with a pain in her neck and a throbbing headache that made her dizzy as she sat up, she checked her phone and noticed that Andrea had tried calling her twice before sending her a text message instead that only told her goodnight. Sharon undressed and showered, and then got dressed for bed properly. She mulled over thoughts that she hadn't time to think about in the daytime hours, thoughts about Andrea and the possibilities that would arise when she ended things with Andy – Andy, she thought about him, too, how he looked at her like he already knew what was going to happen but was just waiting for her to make the decision. She made her headache worse, but soon she was sleeping again and was getting the rest she would need to make it through the next day.

Saturday they had got their confession, and then some. While interviewing their suspect's sister, who had been his alibi and claimed that there was no way her brother could have killed the news anchor when they had been together the entire night, they discovered that there was a connection to their murder victim and the sister. Things started clicking together – an old friendship, lies, threats, cries of ruined lives, and soon they had got the brother to talk when they let him know his sister was on the verge of spilling the truth about how she had been the one to kill the news anchor. It wasn't true, but Sanchez made it sound convincing, and with the way the sister was doing everything to protect her older brother, it wasn't too far-fetched. In the end, it had turned out they were both in on it. The brutal murder had been both of their ideas, and while they said he had been the one to do the actual killing, she had both helped plan what would happen and helped with the cleanup and getting rid of the body.

By the time all their paperwork was finished and everything was done, the team looked exhausted and like they could all use a week-long vacation. "Drinks? I think we could all use one. First round on me," was as close as they were going to get to a vacation, and the room filled with agreeing comments as jackets were donned.

"You coming, Captain?" Provenza asked.

Sharon's eyes flicked over to Andy, who was already looking at her, and then to the rest of the people who were waiting for her answer. She wanted to talk to Andy in private, but she knew he needed a break from everything just as much as the rest of them, and their conversation would be a heavy one. So she nodded her head and tilted her head towards her office. "Yes, yes. I'll just be a minute. Go on without me." They always went to the same place, so there was no reason why she couldn't just meet them there in a little while. Everyone started moving again, and Provenza grumbled something to Andy, and then he, reluctantly, followed the rest of them.

Sharon had called Rusty and spoke to him for a few minutes before she left her office and made her way to the bar. It was late in the evening on a Saturday, so there was a small crowd starting to gather inside. She smiled politely at a few familiar faces and headed to the table she could see the detectives at. The dark wood and low lighting made the space feel cozy and almost intimate, but the loud laughing she hadn't heard come from the people she worked with in days made the atmosphere more fun than the homey-romantic one that it normally had.

A glass of wine was placed in front of her before she had even taken her seat, and she thanked Buzz, who had just arrived with several other drinks for the table. She unbuttoned her jacket and let either side fall open to reveal the cotton shirt underneath. It was Saturday, so she had traded in one of her normal weekday options for comfortable slacks with a fitted shirt. As she settled into the spot Andy had saved for her beside him at their rectangle table – which was really two tables pushed together – she took in a long breath and then released it while reaching for her glass.

"You doing okay?" Andy asked her quietly.

Sharon crossed her legs, careful not to hit her knee on the table, and nodded slowly. "Just tired," she answered honestly, giving him a small smile. She leaned over and bumped her shoulder into his, making his face soften a little for her. "Don't look so concerned, Andy, I'm okay."

Andy looked ready to push on the subject, but then he rubbed at the back of his neck and nodded a little. "It's been one hell of a week."

"And if that isn't the understatement of the year," Sykes said before taking a pull from her beer.

Sharon hummed, catching the other woman's eye before looking back at Andy. On top of the hellish week they had at work, the two of them had had their own personal issues that had been just beneath the surface of the very thin ice they'd skated over all week. Their conversation Tuesday night hadn't been brought up, but Sharon could felt the difference in their relationship, knew he'd been thinking about it. And Sharon had not only their conversation but the one she had with Andrea in the back of her mind, the conversation that had been unfinished because they both wanted to make sure everything was handled in a certain order.

Sharon's phone vibrated in her pocket not too long after she had arrived. Everyone was engrossed in the stories Provenza and Tao were telling – Provenza chuckling and joking around through most of it, Mike throwing in important facts he was leaving out – so Sharon quickly pulled her phone out and checked to see who it was at the table. Andrea's name appeared on the screen.

"Answer it," she heard from beside her, and she looked up to see Andy looking at her with a blank expression on his face.

Sharon's finger had been hovering over the screen, she realized. She looked down to the phone and shook her head. "I'll send her a text and let her know that I'm out with you– with all of you."

Andy watched the phone until it stopped ringing and revealed that that had been Sharon's second missed call. "You don't have to ignore her because you're with me," he whispered.

Sharon opened her mouth to say she wasn't doing that at all, but then she shut it, lips pressed tightly together. She was doing exactly as he said she was, though, wasn't she? She wanted Andy to have a good night, and she knew bringing up Andrea in any way usually led to the opposite of that happening.

"Why don't you see if she wants to join us?"

Sharon's eyes widened, and then narrowed suspiciously. "Andy," she started cautiously, a little confused.

Andy shrugged his shoulders and lifted his soda from the table. "Look, I know you've missed her. Every time I've noticed that she's called, you haven't answered. We've been busy as hell lately, so I'm sure she understands. But we're done with the case." He shrugged again and downed the rest of the drink in his cup and then looked around the table. "Call her. Maybe she'd like to come spend time with a bunch of police officers who will surely be halfway to drunk by the time she gets here."

Sharon felt that wave of guilt again, but this time she knew why. Andy thought she was ignoring Andrea, so Sharon wondered if Andrea thought the same thing. Of course, like Andy said, they had been busy and Andrea would never hold that against her, but usually she would make sure to send a little message Andrea's way when she got a chance and hadn't been able to properly respond to her phone calls. Andrea would text her if it was important, or if she was calling for a professional matter instead of a personal one when Sharon didn't answer, so she knew that Andrea calling was just the other woman wanting to speak to her.

"Hey," Andy said, and Sharon hummed, looking down at the dark screen of her phone. "If you're worried about me, don't."

. . .

Andrea didn't know why she had accepted the invitation. Okay – that was a lie. She knew why, she just didn't think it was a good idea for her to be there. Sharon hadn't sounded like she was even sure she wanted to invite Andrea, which should have been reason enough for Andrea to make up some excuse to explain why she should just stay home. She wasn't used to the level of uncertainty in Sharon's tone when her friend asked if she wanted to come down to the bar where she and the rest of Major Crimes was unwinding after closing their case. She couldn't remember ever feeling as though Sharon had invited her somewhere but didn't really want for her to accept the invitation. Andrea should have taken that as a sign and turned down the offer. But she missed Sharon, and perhaps she had just been reading into Sharon's tone too much.

Andrea hadn't made it inside yet. It was a chilly November night, and she was enjoying the breeze as she leaned against her car and looked into the bar and watched the group of people she was meant to be joining. Before their quick phone call twenty minutes ago, Andrea hadn't spoken more than five words to Sharon since Wednesday morning in her house. While the night had ended with them on a good note, the morning had felt strange. They were normally on the same wavelength, but Wednesday morning something was off. Sharon had already been up and out of bed when Andrea woke up, so Andrea made them coffee while she waited for Sharon to get out of the shower. Sharon hadn't said much to her – which was odd but all right since Andrea didn't do much talking in the morning herself. And when it came time for them to part, Sharon hadn't hugged Andrea like she normally would. She had been in a rush, Andrea knew, and decided that it was probably nothing. After all, Sharon had spent most of the night clinging to Andrea.

But by Friday night, Andrea had stopped finding reasons to excuse what was happening. Sharon was avoiding something, whether she was doing it on purpose or subconsciously, Andrea could tell that was what was going on. Andrea didn't think it was as simple as Sharon avoiding her, because it didn't feel like something the woman she had spent the last decade getting to know would do. Which made her think about what she had told Sharon, about how she didn't want Sharon to say what she had started to say on Tuesday without her being sure. Perhaps she had figured out that she wasn't, as she had told Andrea she was, sure about what she wanted with Andrea. Perhaps, Andrea considered, she didn't know how to tell Andrea that she had just been under a lot of stress lately with everything in her personal life and she had only been clinging to familiarity that night. Perhaps, Andrea thought with a frown, Sharon was trying to establish some type of distance between them so she wouldn't hurt Andrea when she told her that she wanted her to forget about the unspoken words of that night.

Andrea swallowed thickly and was embarrassed to feel her eyes stinging in the corners. She tilted her head back and blinked quickly. _Stop it_ , she commanded, breathing out a frustrated breath. Whatever it was that was going on, she knew they could get through it. They just needed to talk, and it wouldn't do either of them any good if she let her emotions get the best of her now. She had already told both herself and Sharon that she would be supportive of her decisions about dating. Even though she was certain Sharon had been on the verge of telling her on Tuesday night that she wanted to change the dynamic of their relationship, wanted more than a friendship, she had also considered that maybe Sharon wasn't entirely sure of that decision. It was why she had told Sharon not to say it until she was sure, until she was absolutely sure that what she wanted was Andrea. Because Andrea wanted it, wanted to be everything to Sharon, but being offered the parts of Sharon that she did not have and then having Sharon take it back once realizing she made a mistake would hurt more than words could describe.

"You can come inside, you know?"

Andrea didn't look away from the dark sky, recognizing the voice as Andy Flynn's. "Sharon send you out here to get me?" she asked quietly.

Andy made a sound in his throat, almost a laugh. "No."

"Then why are you out here?"

"Honestly- -" Andrea looked his way, and he shrugged, his shoulders lifting up fast and then sagging tiredly, "- - I don't know. But I'm here, and I came to bring you inside."

Andrea pushed herself off her car and waved her hand for him to go first. He went and then opened the door for her, looking at her with a challenge in his eyes that she didn't quite understand. "Thank you," she said, walking through and waiting for him to follow before making her way to the table.

Sharon was the first to notice her, and, surprisingly since she had been the one to invite her, the most surprised to see her. "Andrea," she said, or breathed – that way Sharon sometimes let her name just float out of her mouth and into the air in a way that made Andrea's skin feel warm. "You came," she continued as she stood from her seat.

Andrea forced her frown not to show. Had Sharon thought she wouldn't show up? Had Sharon _hoped_ she wouldn't come? No, she said forcibly in her head, she wouldn't allow such thoughts. "Of course I came," she said instead, and then she waved at the rest of the table and greeted them.

"Here, take my seat," Andy said, tapping the seat beside Sharon and then pulling up a second to the other side of the captain whose facial expression was unreadable to Andrea. However, it made her stomach twist uncomfortably as she wondered what was going on through Sharon's mind.

"Thank you," she said kindly and sat down, looking up at Sharon expectantly.

Sharon looked back at her, unblinkingly, quietly, and then turned her head over her shoulder and looked at Andy with a similar expression. "All right," she said softly, and then she sat back down in her seat, scooting over closer to Andrea to allow Andy's chair room.

"Can I get you something?" Andy asked her, holding up his empty glass.

"Whatever you're having," she said, knowing he wasn't drinking alcohol. "I drove here."

"Sharon?"

Sharon shook her head silently, lips pressed tightly together.

"I'll take another since you're offering, Flynn."

"Offering them, not you. You know where the bar is, Provenza."

Nobody at the table seemed to notice how uncomfortable Sharon looked, but Andrea did. She was good at reading the subtle signs – the furrowed brow as she looked at Andy, the clenched fist underneath the table, the straightening of her spine and shifting of her hips to fix her posture. Normally, Andrea would place her hand on Sharon's to relax it, or on her back or shoulder just so she could feel her presence and focus on their connection instead of whatever was making her uncomfortable. But she had filled her head with doubts and uncertainties, and she no longer knew if that was what Sharon wanted from her. She no longer knew what the best thing to do for Sharon was.

Thankfully, Andy returned swiftly with two sodas and placed one down in front of her; it gave her something to do with her hands while she considered what to do for Sharon. He didn't have the same doubts she did, it seemed, because he placed his hand on top of the one that was on Sharon's thigh immediately and did it so naturally that it looked like something he did all the time. And then Andrea realized, with a nasty wave of sickness, that he probably did do things like that all the time. He was Sharon's – whatever he was – and he had been given access to things like that just like Andrea had, except it was different for him. He had more. He could do these things without people questioning him or looking at him strangely. He could hold her hand and touch her. He– he probably kissed her, and not just on her cheek or a quick peck on the lips. He was Sharon's _something_ , whatever Andrea wasn't, whatever Andrea couldn't be.

"Are you feeling okay?" Sharon asked, and Andrea's head snapped up, her eyes leaving Andy's hand on Sharon's lap. Sharon lifted her hand to touch Andrea's face, and she flinched, unthinkingly, and tried to hide that she had done so, but Sharon noticed and instantly pulled her hand away. Sharon's eyes, filled with concern a moment ago, flooded with a new emotion, hurt from being rejected, and Andrea's heart dropped to her stomach at the sight of the pain and confusion.

Andrea gathered hair in her hands and brought it away from her face on both sides. Everyone at the table was having their side conversations with each other, but Sharon and Andy were both looking at her. Andy was looking at her with a type of blankness that unsettled her, and Sharon was looking at her with so much hurt etched into her face that Andrea couldn't' even look back at her for more than a few seconds at a time.

"I'm sorry. I - -" Andrea looked around them and spotted the restrooms, "- - I need to, to put a little cool water on my face. I think I'm just a little..."

Andrea stumbled over the end of her sentence in her rush to get up from the table. She only noticed it after the smoke in her head cleared, noticed the sound of Sharon's voice, her footsteps. She was already in the too-brightly-lit bathroom when she realized Sharon was following her. And by then it was too late to find a way to kindly tell her it was she who Andrea needed to get away from, that it was she who was making her feel dizzy and hot and like everything was so very... _off._

By then, Andrea was already breathing harsh breaths that made her chest lift and fall with a fast rhythm that felt unnatural to her. By then, Andrea was already feeling so sick. Sick of herself for somehow still managing to get in the way of things when she swore she wouldn't. Sick with regret because of how she handled Tuesday night. Sick of herself for feeling like someone was stepping all over her territory – because Sharon wasn't hers, and she never wanted to think of her in that way. Sick...

 _Sick._

"Here," Sharon whispered soothingly, pushing her into a stall and pulling her hair back. Andrea's stomach churned, and the sickness that she had thought to all be in her head proved to be more of a physical one. "Breathe. Breathe." Sharon rubbed her back, and somewhere in the back of Andrea's mind she rolled her eyes at herself for being so damn pathetic. She couldn't even handle a little unjustifiable jealousy without getting herself sick in the process.

Andrea coughed over the toilet when nothing else came out, and Sharon rolled tissue around her hand and handed it to Andrea to wipe her face while also pulling her out of the stall so she could flush the toilet with her foot. Andrea went over to the sink and rinsed her mouth out a few times to clear the foul taste in it. Sharon was standing a safe distance from her at the other end of the triple sinks, her arms folded around her as she stood there quietly. Andrea didn't look at her until she had wiped her face dry with a paper towel and hadn't any choice but to acknowledge that Sharon was waiting for her.

"Thank you," she said with a small amount of embarrassment.

"Are you feeling better?" Sharon asked her.

She wasn't looking at Andrea's face, her eyes lower, near her feet instead. So when she nodded, Sharon couldn't see. "I think so, yes."

Sharon smiled a tiny smile and cleared her throat.

Andrea breathed out a slow breath, leaning against the wall behind her.

"Did you–"

"I wanted–"

Andrea worked her fingers through her hair. "You go."

Sharon looked up at Andrea this time. "I bought the tickets," she said, and then frowned, looking confused.

"Huh?"

"Plane tickets, for Rusty and I."

Andrea's brow started to furrow, but then she remembered the conversation they had Wednesday morning before Sharon had stopped talking to her. "Oh, for Thanksgiving. So you were able to find seats? That's fantastic," she said with a genuine smile.

Sharon hummed and nodded slowly. "Are we– Are you–" Sharon huffed out a breath and pushed her hands into her pockets. "Andy wanted you to be here," Sharon said, and that same confused look crossed her face from before. "That's not what I meant to say."

Andrea worked her fingers through her hair again and tucked a section behind her ear. "He did?" she asked carefully, perhaps even a little amused.

"Yeah," Sharon said. "I thought it was a–"

"Bizarre request?" Sharon's lips almost formed a smirk. "I take it you didn't talk to him about..." Andrea motioned between the two of them with her hand as she trailed off. Sharon sighed, and Andrea smiled at her. "It's been a busy week," she said before Sharon could speak, and she pushed herself off the wall.

"Are you–"

"I'm fine," Andrea said immediately, not letting Sharon finish her question. "I am fine, Sharon," she told her again with a slow smile before opening the bathroom door and tilting her head towards it. "We should get out there before– Well, we should just get out there."

Andrea didn't give Sharon the opportunity to say anything else to her. She walked with her back to the table and then looked over to the bar where Andy sat alone. She had felt his eyes on them as they crossed the room, and instead of sitting down with Sharon, she took her glass and walked over to where he was.

"Why did you want me here tonight?" Andrea asked, putting her glass down and sliding onto the stool beside Andy's.

Andy's eyes widened a bit, but he glanced at Sharon and then scratched the back of his neck before shrugging the same way he had outside when he brought her in. "Straight to the point, huh?"

Andrea felt the corner of her mouth twitch. "I've learned that with some people it's best to just be straightforward sometimes."

He grunted and nodded. "She missed you," he said, and she understood he was going to be honest and straightforward with her as well. "She came out here with us, but, whether you like to believe it or not, I do know her. I know she would have rather gone home to be with Rusty, gone home to be with him and invite you over."

Andrea drank from the clear glass and turned around on her stool, looking over to the table. She wouldn't agree or disagree with him, because she didn't know if he was right. She thought he was, wouldn't have doubted it for even a moment a week ago. However, the little uncertainties she was feeling made it hard for her to know for sure what to believe without having Sharon tell her herself what she wanted.

"Tell me, Lieutenant, what do you see when you look at her?" Andrea asked after they had sat together in silence longer than they had in a long while without it feeling uncomfortable.

Andy made a small noise in his throat and said, "A woman who bailed me out when I needed it. A woman who gave me more chances than I deserved."

Andrea raised a surprised eyebrow and let her lips form a half-smile. "What do you know? Something we actually agree on." Andrea tilted her head back to him."What else?"

He listed things – things he admired about her, things that Andrea saw in Sharon as well – and Andrea simply hummed thoughtfully, looking at Sharon and feeling her heart swell. She had known already that his feelings were genuine, but she hadn't known how deep they went. She recognized something in the way he spoke about Sharon, though, recognized the tone of his voice, the emotion in his words – she recognized it because it was there when she spoke about Sharon as well.

She could feel Andy watching her, so she turned slightly to lift a questioning eyebrow at him.

"What about you?"

Andrea saw a lot of things, and maybe if he had asked her this a few days ago she would have provided him with the long list that easily came to her head. Instead, she looked at Sharon and then cleared her throat.

"I see someone who puts other people before herself all the time and deserves to be happy." She turned to Andy, her smile falling from her lips as she studied him. He didn't back down from her intense gaze. "I also see a someone who I love with everything I have," she said, and it sounded more like a realization than it should have. "But sometimes loving someone means stepping back, and that's what I've been doing. I love Sharon Raydor so much that I will always put her happiness first, even if the direct result of that is me losing something I want. Can you say the same thing?"

Andrea didn't wait for his answer. She had the sudden need for fresh air and space - a lot of space.

. . .

Sharon had caught the ending of Andy and Andrea's conversation from the table. She had been unable to hear what they were speaking about, but she had seen the stiffening of Andrea's back, the locking of her jaw, and knew something was wrong with her. She had glanced their way, curious about what they were discussing, but hadn't noticed any tension between the two of them until the very end. She had already felt as though something was bothering Andrea, so after watching her shove her hands into her jacket pockets and head towards the exit, Sharon knew she needed to speak to her. She couldn't handle the half-conversations that were starting to slowly become their norm, not when they left her feeling like she was on the outside when all she wanted was for Andrea to open up to her like she normally would.

Before she could make it to the door, though, she heard Andy call her name as he crossed the bar. She'd noticed his demeanor, too, the defeated droop to his shoulders and the way he'd barely looked away from his glass. She sighed heavily, turning to look at him, only pausing long enough to let him know she would be back.

"Sharon, can we talk?" he asked when he was close enough so that when he spoke it was only she who could hear him. His brown eyes pled, and Sharon's heart ached at the sight.

Sharon patted his arm, but her eyes turned to look out the door Andrea had rushed out of. "Not right now," she said with a small, apologetic smile. She knew something was wrong with him, but her concern right then was with Andrea. "I need to go make sure Andrea is all right."

Andy huffed out a breath. "Of course you do."

Sharon's eyes instantly turned cold, but she knew it was not him she should be mad at. A decision was made right then – after she spoke with Andrea, she was going to ask Andy if they could go somewhere private so she could do what she had known was best for them for quite some time now. "I have to go," she said, taking brisk steps away from him.

They would talk later. But first she needed to get to Andrea.

Andrea hadn't gone far. She was right outside of the bar, slowly walking with her head lifted towards the sky. She was counting, Sharon knew without being able to hear her, and Sharon hesitated at the bar entrance before deciding to pull her jacket around her and exit completely. She didn't approach Andrea, though, deciding to wait for a moment or two to let Andrea clear her head on her own if she could. Sometimes she just needed a moment, and Sharon could wait.

When a moment turned into a minute, and that into two or three, Sharon slowly made her way over to where Andrea now stood in front of a closed shop with its gate down. "Talk to me," she requested, knowing Andrea had already known she was outside.

Andrea didn't respond right away. But when she did, when she lifted her head and met Sharon's eyes, Sharon's breath rushed out of her lungs so quickly it startled her. "I think Andy's in love with you. I'm pretty sure of it." Andrea looked hurt, so terribly hurt, and Sharon wanted desperately to pull her friend into her arms and tell her everything would find a way to be all right. Andrea didn't like that, though, being told things would be okay when there was no way of knowing for sure.

Sharon stepped closer to Andrea, careful. After what had happened at the table earlier, she thought it best not to initiate any physical contact between them. But she could move closer, so close that they were basically touching. Andrea looked around them, as if to point out where they were, and Sharon lifted her brow.

"Your– Andy's..." Andrea swallowed and shook her head.

Sharon sighed. They had never been secretive about their closeness, their relationship, what they were to each other. They were private people, and what they shared was theirs and theirs alone – but that didn't mean they hid it away. So she was surprised that Andrea looked like she was uncomfortable with Sharon being so close to her in public.

"Did I do something to make you–"

Andrea reached out and pulled Sharon back to her when she started backing away. "I'm sorry," she said, and Sharon's mouth closed tightly. "About earlier. About right now."

Sharon sighed again, this time softer, her shoulders relaxing. "Don't apologize, Andrea, just tell me what's going on. What happened between you and Andy?"

Andrea shook her head as she said: "Nothing happened between Andy and I. Honestly, I think– No. I'm... Ugh."

Sharon felt Andrea's hand slide into her own, so she gave it an encouraging squeeze before Andrea pulled her own away.

"You know, I was right before. When I said that I needed to just step back and give you space to be with Andy. I was right. I was–"

"I don't need space. I need you," Sharon nearly shouted, the words pushing out of her heart with the ferocity of a caged animal finally being set free, running forth as if afraid the cage would be locked again if they did not escape fast enough.

Her tone surprised her, but she could see the doubt in Andrea's eyes and understood why she was falling back on what she had been saying before. Andrea had been ready to move forward, too, Sharon was sure of it now, but they hadn't spoken about Tuesday night and Sharon hadn't spoken to Andy. With nothing changing since then, of course Andrea would think it was because Sharon hadn't been sure about what she said-but-didn't-really-say. Andrea had said she needed Sharon to be sure of it. And now she was trying to protect herself – because Andrea had wanted it, and Sharon knew without a doubt now.

"Space is the opposite of what I need right now, Andrea," she said in a quieter tone, her fingers tangling themselves into knots in front of her.

"Sharon," Andrea breathed out.

But Sharon didn't let her speak. She placed her trembling hands on Andrea's face and made her look at her, really look at her. "I want to be with you, Andrea. _You._ " Sharon could hear it in her voice, the rawness of her emotions. "I don't want you to give me space. I want for you to let me love you. Let me love you."

"Sharon," Andrea breathed again, her name shaking as it passed through lips that wobbled just a bit.

"Let me wake up beside you in the morning and fall asleep in your arms at night, because there's nowhere I've ever felt safer." Andrea's face softened, and Sharon's heart pounded in her chest as she stroked Andrea's cheeks with her hands. Sharon smiled at her, lovingly, nervously. "I want to continue sharing my life with you, and I want to do it with you knowing that I could never feel the way I feel for you for anyone else. I want to give myself to you, Andrea, in whatever ways you think I haven't already. Mind, body, and soul – and if anyone understands how important that is to me, it's you. This isn't a decision I've made lightly, but it's one I am completely, absolutely, without a single doubt sure of.

"I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, and only you."

Andrea's eyes glistened and her breath was heavy. "Sharon, I–"

Sharon shook her head, caressing Andrea's cheeks slowly as she continued to look into her eyes, now confused but still full of so much love and hope that Sharon felt breathless because of it. "You said you wanted me to be sure before I said it, and I am. I've been sure for months. But I still haven't spoken to Andy. Well, about my feelings for you, I have..."

Andrea looked completely shocked as her eyes widened. "Andy knows?"

Sharon took her hands away from Andrea's face and cleared her throat. "As well as other things," Sharon said cryptically, and Andrea raised her brow. Sharon felt her face warm as she whispered, "He tried convincing me that you were in love with me, and then I later told him that it was the other way around."

"Oh," Andrea said softly, a small smile on her lips as she raised her hand and lightly brushed her fingers over Sharon's face.

Sharon's lashes fluttered, as did her heart. "I'm going to talk to Andy tonight. After the week we had, I wanted him to have at least a little moment to relax and enjoy himself." Andrea's smile grew, her expression soft and open. "What?"

"I love that about you. How much you care about other people. It's a small gesture, but it's selfless and thoughtful." Andrea leaned forward and pressed her lips to Sharon's forehead. "Take all the time you need. Tonight, tomorrow... Just please don't leave me in the dark. I plant all kinds of crazy ideas in my head when I start feeling uncertain about where I stand."

Sharon breathed in as Andrea pulled back and nodded her head.

 _to be continued..._


	11. Chapter 11

11.

Andrea had decided it would be best to go home instead of back into the bar with Sharon. They had stayed standing together in the chilly night for a few more moments, not saying much but settling the nerves in Andrea's belly nonetheless, and then Sharon had walked her the short distance to her car. They had bid each other a good night and shared a short hug that Andrea knew Sharon had wanted to be longer – her hands had fisted the back of Andrea's jacket and Sharon was reluctant to pull away, only doing so when Andrea placed a discreet kiss to her temple and reminded Sharon that she could call her when she got home. Sharon had waited with her hands deep in her pockets as Andrea got in the car and started it up, and then they had shared one last smile as Andrea drove out of her parking spot.

When Andrea arrived home, the first thing she did was undress and change back into the lounge pants and t-shirt she had been wearing before Sharon called her. There was something unquestionably satisfying about unclasping her bra and unfastening her jeans and slipping into soft cotton. The second, which happened almost immediately afterwards, was turn on her kitchen light and pull down a large stack of cookbooks from the shelf beside her refrigerator. While she was no longer worrying about where she stood with Sharon, she still couldn't find it in her to sit calmly and just enjoy the rest of her night. It came with the occupation, she thought, the constant feeling of believing you're not doing enough. Even after years, Andrea still found that she had a hard time allowing herself proper rest when she had the time for it. Cooking had been an activity that let her feel like she was still keeping busy while also giving her brain a break from her work. It also relaxed her.

Autumn had been Andrea's favorite time of the year growing up. While autumn in California was a far cry from what she had loved so dearly when she was younger – seeing the lush greenery change into vibrant reds, yellows, and oranges for instance – she still loved this time of year the most. Andrea often remembered weekends in her large backyard with her siblings and cousins, the crisp air on her face as they ran around, the warm smell of hot chocolate when they were called inside for a snack, the rich sound of laughter that filled their kitchen when they piled into the room. Autumn made her think about her family, and it filled her with such an incredible sense of home.

She had grown up with her family always close by, and even though she was far away from most of them now, she still loved feeling like part of something special like that. Aunts and uncles, and sometimes even her father, often asked why she hadn't started her own family, married and had children, but Andrea had never wanted that for herself – not the way they thought she should have it. She had built herself a life away from the majority of her blood relatives, so she had made herself a family the way that suited her best. Her family were her friends, the people who had entered her life and changed it for the better and held permanent places in her heart. Her family also included Sharon, who had, in her own way, given Andrea, albeit all grown now, three children more than Andrea had planned on having in her life. Whenever Ricky or Emily came to see Sharon, they also made sure to spend time with Andrea, and Rusty and she had been spending more time with each other lately, time together outside of that time they shared with Sharon. All three of Sharon's kids called and emailed her every now and then just to see how she was doing, and she and Emily even Skyped once a month and sent books they had read and thought the other would enjoy through the mail.

With her kitchen island covered with opened books, the dark granite surface beneath barely noticeable, Andrea felt a small bubble of energy burst inside her. She worked her fingers through her hair and used the elastic on her wrist to put it up into a messy bun, and then she tucked the strands that framed her face but would not be forced into the elastic band behind her ears so they were out of the way. Living alone meant it was always quiet in the house. She sometimes put the television on just to have some type of noise in the background, but usually she preferred music, any and all kinds.

Setting up her laptop in the kitchen with her, behind her at the breakfast bar, Andrea decided to let someone else be in control of what she listened to. While there was certainly nothing like dancing and humming along to an old favorite, discovering new music that she might have overlooked on her own was always such a treat for her. And she was in a pretty decent mood, her mind clear from the troubles she had planted in it with her uncertainties about what was happening between her and Sharon. She had a night of baking ahead of her, she had decided, and she was up to any music that could keep her feeling positive.

Music playing, _Gonna Get Over You_ by Sara Bareilles, Andrea poured herself a glass of wine and then sat down on the stool she had pulled from the bar over to the island. She was still trying to decide what she wanted to make. She was thinking on cookies, something she could make and then deliver the next day to a few friends. But the pile of apples in her fruit basket that she had purchased for a pie she never made were making her consider other options – _like the pie that was never made._ But, she thought, taking a sip from her wine as she flipped the page in one of her books, something with chocolate sounded good as well.

 _Decisions, decisions._

. . .

"How about a slice of pie? I recommend the apple. It goes great with the coffee," the curly-haired server said, looking at Andy as he adjusted his suit jacket.

"No, just the coffee is fine. Thank you," he said after giving it some thought, and then he grinned at the friendly server. Sharon noticed it wasn't one of his normal, handsome smiles that made him look like he was full to the brim with happiness or adoration, nor was it the one he wore when he was outlandishly flirtatious. It wasn't even one of the small ones she had gotten used to see years ago. It didn't even meet his eyes, and Sharon could tell it had been forced out of politeness.

"And you, ma'am? Would you like anything to go with your tea?"

Sharon brought her eyes away from Andy and gave the server a simple shake of her head. "Just the tea, please." She probably wouldn't even drink it, but it would give her something to do with her hands, something to hold. Her belly was tight, and she didn't think she had much of an appetite, not for pie or anything else the diner had to offer.

Andy and Sharon sat in complete silence for several minutes. The server left and came back with their hot beverages and then left them once more to be alone at their table. There weren't many people there, just a few having dinner at tables closer to the entrance and four men spread around the counter with mugs and plates. Andy had walked them to one of the tables off to the side, where there was a little more privacy, and nobody had joined them in their little section since they sat down.

Sharon's hands wrapped around her tea, the warmth of it heating her cool skin. She watched the white steam rise from the fragrant liquid and sighed softly, unsure where to start, how to start, or if it was even she who should speak first. Andy had said he wanted to talk to her, and she hadn't even told him yet that there was something she also wanted to speak to him about. Sharon let out a slow breath and lifted her eyes so she could study the man across the table. He looked exhausted – not the type of exhaustion that was expected with the hours they often worked, nor that which came with having to deal with the constant reminders of the evils in the world the way they had to. Andy looked exhausted like he was in a never-ending fight that continuously left him battered and bruised, a fight that he still chose to fight despite what it was doing to him. That fight, Sharon knew, had something to do with her, and she hated thinking that she was the cause of any of his pain, any of the hurt that he wasn't all that good at hiding in his eyes.

"It wasn't all bad for you, was it?"

Andy's question made Sharon's heart drop into her stomach, and she, without thinking about it, reached her hand across the table to grab his. He allowed it and looked up so that he was looking at Sharon when she squeezed his hand, tightly, and then loosened her grip when she noticed how hard she was holding on to him.

"We both know why we're sitting here right now," he said bluntly, seeming to be ready for the same discussion Sharon knew they needed to have. "There's no use lying to ourselves or trying to make something work that just isn't meant to, not like this, not how it has been. But, I want to know. This wasn't all bad for you, right? I mean, you got something out of this, too, right?"

"Oh, Andy," Sharon sighed. "Of course it wasn't. No matter what happens from here on out, I want you to know that– I _need_ you to know that I have, truly, loved getting to know you on a more personal level. I think we had a lot of fun together, in ways I hadn't even expected we would. Don't you?! Even before we started dating, I thought of you as a good friend, a part of my support system."

She had enjoyed his friendship more than anything they had shared in their time knowing each other, but she didn't think it was the appropriate time to tell him that. Sharon had thought there was potential for something deeper between them, wouldn't have even considered giving a relationship with him a chance if she hadn't, but it had been their friendship that gave her reasons to believe they could work together as a romantic couple. There was, without a doubt, a lot of differences between how she felt for Andy and how she felt for Andrea. The main difference, she now understood and could simplify for what it was, was she did not care for Andy in a romantic way. She cared for him deeply, enjoyed his company, and still felt as though there was much more about him that she wanted to learn – but there were no romantic feelings involved, and any love she would grow to feel for him would not be the kind he would hope for it to be.

"Okay."

Sharon raised her brow, but then she pulled her hand away from his and brought it to her lap instead. She leaned back in her seat, purposely loosened her spine and relaxed her face muscles.

"Okay," she said in the same monotone way Andy had, like an agreement to something undisclosed. What he was thinking was unknown to Sharon, but she felt it best not to push and to wait instead. He was looking at her like he wanted to say something, so she remained quiet, patient, leaving the things she wanted to say to him for later so that she could give him the chance to express his feelings on the matter.

It didn't take long for Andy to clear his throat and lean forward on the table, coffee pushed forward so he could put one of his arms where it had been. "She told you, then." It was clear it wasn't a question but a statement he was sure of, as he had nodded his head surely in a way he did when he was voicing his thoughts aloud.

However, Sharon shook her head as an answer anyway. "No, I told her," she shared with him. She wouldn't give him details of their conversation, not believing it necessary or wanting to share that moment with anyone other than Andrea for right now. However, she saw no harm in letting him know what had happened. He had the right to that, she thought, wanted him to understand was going on since it involved him as well. "After our conversation, I knew that the only way I would know how to best move forward would be if she and I, at least on some level, discussed my feelings for her."

Andy didn't look surprised by this. He nodded, not revealing his emotions on his face but unable to keep the dejected look from his eyes. "We spoke in the bar before she left."

Sharon sat up a little straighter.

Andy shrugged his shoulders a fraction. "I understand it. I don't want to, but I do. I see how– I see why you love her."

When Sharon raised her brow, Andy shrugged a bit more and titled his head just so. Sharon could tell from the way he looked at her, from little nuances she recognized and understood, that this topic was not one he found easy to discuss. She wanted to make the discussion as painless for him as possible, and it was as she thought this that she realized she would not be adding what she had initially planned on bringing up to this conversation. She realized the things she needed to say were more for her own benefit, therefore, not necessary. Sharon's biggest hope was that all three of them could find a way through this without being hurt, and having already realized that it was too late for that, she wanted there to be as little heartache as possible.

. . .

"Honey, do you know what time it is?"

Andrea put down the canister of oatmeal in her hand and looked over to the time on the stove, phone tucked between her ear and shoulder. "Yeah, it's almost eleven. Why?"

"Because you're up baking loaves of cake when you should be in bed sleeping," Fernando said. She could hear rustling in the background, and then a low groan. "Sleeping like I was about to do," he added in.

Andrea moved around the kitchen, gathering ingredients and mixing bowls. "I texted you. A simple yes or no would have answered my question. I didn't tell you to call me."

"You texted me to ask if my boyfriend liked apples. It was too random for me _not_ to call."

Andrea hummed, dropping eggs and butter down on her workspace and then sitting on her stool. "You don't have to worry, I'm just restless."

"Who said I was worrying?"

Andrea rolled her eyes. "Your tone, the fact that you're still on the phone with me." She pushed the diced up apples in the lemon water with her knife as she let out a slow breath. "I'm actually feeling better since our last conversation."

"About time. That means you two have spoken and figured out your mess so I don't have to, right?"

A low chuckle tickled her throat. "My, my, don't we think highly of ourselves?! Sharon and I are more than capable of dealing with this situation on our own. We just haven't had the time to properly discuss a lot of what I believe has been bugging us both lately." A smile slowly started spreading across her lips as she remembered their tender moment together before she left Sharon earlier, and she closed her eyes and recalled the warmth of Sharon's hands on her face, so soft and right. "She told me she wants to be with me, Fernando," she confided quietly.

"Well of course she does, honey," he said like it was the most obvious thing – and Andrea usually would roll her eyes or come back with sarcastic retort when he pulled that tone, but Andrea only let out a slow breath into her phone. She was suddenly feeling a bit vulnerable. He let out one, too, and then he cleared his throat. "When?" he asked her, gentler, like he sensed that she was feeling a little fragile just from the way she responded to him.

"Tonight – although she had tried earlier this week when she stayed over. But I didn't– I wouldn't let her say it to me then."

"And how are you feeling?"

"Honestly?" He hummed his answer, encouraging her to tell him how she really felt. "Scared. But not a bad scared, you know? Scared about what's going to come next, even though I am looking forward to it, to whatever _it_ might be. But happy, excited... Hopeful," she breathed out, smiling a little. "She said she wants to spend the rest of her life loving me, and it's different now. Sharon's told me that she loves me before, but it wasn't the same this time. The way she looked at me, Fernando..." Andrea trailed off with a nervous laugh, muscles in her abdomen fluttering.

"I'm happy for you," he said sincerely, "for both of you. And you know what? I bet Sharon's probably feeling all of those same feelings you are right now."

"Plus a crap ton more." Andrea frowned deeply, brow furrowing. "This would have been a lot easier a few months ago. I should have said something to her before she started dating Andy, you know, given her some type of–"

"Don't you even," Fernando said sternly, no-nonsense tone on full blast. "If you even begin to blame yourself for something, I swear I'll drive over there right now–"

"I'm not," Andrea insisted before he could even finish what he was saying. "I don't blame myself for anything. I just wish that I could have prevented some of what's going to happen, you know. Andy's a good man, a good man who has real, strong feelings for Sharon. He's going to get hurt, and Sharon's going to be hurt because she's going to blame herself for causing his pain."

"And who's to say that someone wouldn't have ended up hurt if things had happened differently? There's no telling what would have happened if you had told Sharon that you were in love with her before she started dating Andy. She might not have even been ready to hear that."

Andrea sighed deeply and stood up from her stool. "You're right."

"Of course I'm right. That was never up for debate."

"You're also a pain in the ass," she said through laughter, feeling her good mood come back to her. "Thank you."

"Anytime. Now, don't stay up all night baking, and call me if you need me – preferably after I've gotten some sleep."

"Aye aye."

. . .

"It's honorable - -" Andy was starting to look deflated, his shoulders sagging as though being weighed down by cement blocks, "- - altruistic." He shook his head, a cocktail of disbelief, respect, and pain in his eyes as he looked past Sharon's shoulder and out of the diner. "I don't think I could do it, what she said, step away from you so you can find your happiness with someone else while I'm in love with you. But that's why you love her, isn't it? Because there's no questioning what you mean to her. There's nothing selfish about the way Hobbs loves you, and as much as I want to be upset because of all of this, I can't. Because she's right. You deserve to be loved, to be with someone who cherishes you and makes you happy – and someone who you want to love in return.

"And that's her."

Sharon had been sitting quietly, understanding his need to talk and to have her listen to him. She could do that, she could make sure he knew that she heard everything he said and felt it, felt the aching inside him as though it were her own pain. His eyes stopped meeting hers a few minutes ago, but Sharon hadn't looked away from him. She watched his face, watched the indifference crumble away to reveal the sorrow etched into his skin like years-old frown lines. She watched his jaw tighten when he got upset, and then his throat constrict as he calmed the raging emotions she imagined rushing through his system, pulse after pulse of it, sickening and dark. She watched him with a heavy heart and her own saddened eyes, wanting to reach out and touch him, console him, but keeping her hands in her lap, tight, clenched fists, knowing that he needed space, knowing that this was not something she could make feel better for him. He was hurting, and Sharon couldn't do anything about it. But she could listen. She could make sure he knew she cared.

"I thought we could make it work – after you told me about your feelings for her, I still thought we could find a way. I wanted to be understanding. I wanted to be all right with it." Andy shook his head, shutting his eyes for a brief moment. "This won't last, though. Not because you're in love with her, not because she's in love with you. This won't work because, even if neither of those things were true, I still wouldn't know how to be comfortable with the relationship you have with her. And I get it. I know that your relationship with Hobbs is a permanent fixture in your life." He finally looked at her, trying to smile but his facial muscles not allowing it. "I see it when you talk about her, how important to you she is. Being in love with her has nothing to do with that. You're grateful for what she brought to your life. You have a lot of respect for her. When you speak about her, I can tell that there's something there that goes beyond loving her, something that we don't have. Am I right?"

Sharon's head nodded slowly, her heart beating quickly in her chest. She cleared her dry throat and then reached for her lukewarm tea. "Yes," she answered verbally, tone apologetic.

He shook his head and looked past her again, narrowing his eyes. "I can't compete with that. That's always been the issue. I said it wasn't just jealousy, and it's not. It's me wanting to take a spot in your life that already belongs to someone else and coming to the understanding that I never could. And as much as I wanted to be okay with that, I can't."

"You shouldn't have to," Sharon said quietly but with her words pronounced perfectly, her voice clear. "You and Andrea have both told me I deserve to be happy, but so do the two of you. If things were to continue they way they have been, we would all be unsatisfied a few months down the line. I don't want–" Sharon pursed her lips, lowering her eyes to the table for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. "I never wanted to hurt either of you, Andy.

"When I accepted your invitation to dinner, and when I continued to let our relationship become more romantic, I did so while knowing that I had feelings for someone else. That wasn't fair to you, and I want to apologize to you for that. I wasn't ready to talk about it at the time, but I do wish I had spoken to you about that from the beginning. Or, if I'm being honest, told you right away that I thought it would be best if we continued letting our friendship grow because I thought we made really good friends."

"We did," he agreed somberly.

Sharon felt herself wanting to reach out to him again and folded her hands together.

"We do," he said a moment later, huffing out a long breath.

Sharon wondered if they would be able to continue being friends after this, if a friendship was too much to ask for. She wanted to ask him, but she was sure it wasn't the right time for that talk. They were in the midst of a conversation about the ending of their relationship, after all. They needed to work through one thing at a time, and she knew they both needed time before that could happen. But she still wondered if it would be possible.

Sharon's face must have given away her thoughts, because he then smiled lightly at her, a real smile this time, and said: "We'll get back there, I think. I'm not ready for it. It would be too much right now. It'll take time for me to be okay with the way things turned out, but I think it's fair to say that our friendship is strong enough for us to make it through a breakup."

Sharon let hope fill her chest as she placed her hand on the table, in the middle, there for him to take it if he wanted, but close enough to her if it was too much for him. "I would like that."

He looked down at her hand, up into her eyes, and then back down to her pale hand on the dark wood table. "Me too," he said, covering her hand with his own but not letting it linger.

. . .

Andrea removed the loaf pan from the oven and sat it down on the metal rack, the sweet smell of the chocolate filling the air. It was the fourth loaf to be completed, and her house had started smelling like a bakery a long while ago. The base for the bread-like loafs was the same for all four cakes, so it was just a matter of changing the ingredients a little to make different kinds. She had enough apples for two, then she made two with chocolate chunks, adding in some nuts into the one she would be keeping for herself.

Andrea was just shutting the oven when her cell phone buzzed on the counter, and she quickly removed her oven mitts and closed the door so she could see what the notification was for. The kitchen was cleaned up from her baking adventures, the only mess left on her clothes. She grabbed her phone and headed out of the room, turning her music off as she walked by the laptop with a press of a button.

A smile appeared on her full lips as she walked down the hall, reading the text message that she had just received.

 _I know you said I could call when I got home, but it's later than I thought it would be. I would really like to hear your voice if you're still awake._

Andrea typed a quick text and then tossed her phone to the bed. ( _Give me five.)_ She wanted to jump in the shower for a few minutes and change into something clean. She hurried through the process, nearly tripping over her own feet at one point and laughing at herself. She was acting as though she hadn't spoken to Sharon in weeks, months. There was excitement mixing with the small amount of nervous happiness that still flowed through her veins, and she could feel herself light up with something golden by the prospect of getting to be on the phone with Sharon.

Her shower was quick, and she did not linger to enjoy the rush of hot water on her skin. She dried and slipped on a shirt and underwear in record time, and then climbed into her bed, leaving the lamp on so she wouldn't fall asleep, remembering the baked goods she needed to take care of. When she was under her blanket, propped up by pillows, she put in her passcode to her phone and selected Sharon's name from her recent calls.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three ri–

"Hi."

Andrea's heart fluttered at the soft sound of Sharon's voice, like gentle exhalation directly into her ear. "Hi," she responded just as softly, her heart still dancing in her chest.

And for a moment that was all there was. They didn't say anything, but there was the very subtle sound of breathing on both ends of the phones, the slight sound of movement when Andrea rolled over to her side and faced the side of the bed where Sharon slept, the beating of Andrea's heart as she closed her eyes and imagined Sharon right there beside her. She smiled and exhaled through her nose, holding the phone tightly to her ear.

"I know you wanted to talk–"

"No," Sharon whispered, cutting her off. "This is fine. I just..."

Andrea nodded against the pillow. "Me too," she agreed to the unspoken admission.

"I needed to feel close to you."

"I'm right here," Andrea said softly. "Close your eyes. I'm right here with you."

Sharon hummed. "You always are."

 _to be continued..._


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Sorry about the wait! The last few weeks have been crazy busy for me, but hopefully this chapter, which is full of light moments, makes up for the wait.

12.

"Hey, Sharon, can I get in here real quick?" Rusty asked, standing in front of the opened bathroom door with his hair tousled and his pajamas rumpled.

Sharon, who was putting on her mascara in the mirror, finished with what she was doing and then slid the wand back into place. "Of course. I was just finishing up. Let me just grab these," she told him as she quickly gathered her makeup items and the case she stored them in. She quickly swept her eyes over the white surface, and with a nod, she turned to the door that connected to her bedroom. "All yours," she said, giving him a quick smile before slipping into her room with a small click from her door. She deposited the cosmetics and their case down on one of her two dressers and then walked over to her bedroom door to close it so she could get dressed.

Sharon had awoken around 6:30 and went for a run earlier. The fresh, crisp air of the morning had felt refreshing on her skin, and once she got into her run, she had felt her mind move to a quiet place it was hard to reach when she had a lot going on. Sharon found running not only great for her body but her sanity as well – it was a foolproof way for her to clear her mind on her own, and that was something she appreciated greatly with the way she sometimes dwelled on matters for longer than most would recommend. She had started running regularly when Emily and Ricky were old enough to get themselves ready for school without her help, but it had been when Jack was still living with them that she discovered how beneficial running could be for her. The time she put into work didn't allow much free time for herself, but she tried to get in a fair amount of running during her week when she had the time to spare.

Her run this morning had been longer than usual; she'd pushed herself just a little more than she normally would. She had felt an immediate response to the extra effort, not all bad, and not all physical. When she was coming close to the end of her run, she had felt more alive than she had in a long while. She felt rejuvenated. She hadn't been pushing herself lately, and she had missed the way it felt when she did, the euphoric rush that it gave her. She had been panting when she stopped, bent over at the waist some as her hands rested on her knees – but she had felt incredible.

Sunday morning continued to be a good one for Sharon as she showered, made herself a light breakfast of fruit, and then started getting ready for her day. It was almost eight o'clock when Sharon laid out a royal blue sheath dress on her bed and then went for her cell phone. She had been wanting to call Andrea for a while now, but she knew the other woman was not awake and did not want to risk waking her up. They had stayed on the phone together last night until Sharon had fallen asleep, and while Sharon could not remember when or how that happened, she knew it had been late into the night.

Sharon sat down on her bed with her phone and rolled her shoulders a few times. She had lingered in the hot shower with the small hope that the heat would help with the tension she had been feeling in her shoulders, but it had been of no help. The headache she had been experiencing the past few days had not made an appearance this morning, she noted gratefully, so she would take whatever small victories that came her way and be happy about that.

Sharon decided to send Andrea a text message instead of a phone call, a quick one that simply told the other woman to call her if she were to wake up before nine o'clock. With that done, Sharon was about to put her phone down and finish getting her clothes out so she could change out of her robe. But as she reached over to the nightstand where her phone charger was, the device in her hand started vibrating and ringing. She was pleasantly surprised to see 'DDA Hobbs' across the top of her screen, and a smile stretched her lips in an automatic response.

"Good morning. I didn't expect to hear from you so quickly."

"I've been awake for a while. I was just about to start getting ready so I can head out when I received your text message."

Sharon's smile slowly fell from her lips as she listened to Andrea speak. "Oh. I'm sorry. Don't let me hold you up."

"You're not. I'm only driving over to drop an apple loaf at Fernando's place. I'm in no rush, and he's not there. He told me to just let myself in and leave it there after I insisted that I deliver it today. What's up?"

"I was calling to ask if you, perhaps, maybe wanted to go somewhere with me this morning..." she said, leaving it open like a question.

"Oh. Sure, yeah. What time?"

Sharon laughed softly into the phone. "You don't even know where I'm going to be going, Andrea."

"Did you hear my plans for the day?! I'm driving food over to an empty house. That is everything that's on my agenda for the day. I will gladly accompany you wherever you want to go. You know how much I hate not having anything to do."

Sharon checked her fingernail polish as she hummed, noticing one of her nails was chipped and making a mental note to clean the nail up once she got off the phone. "All right, then. Since you're available earlier than I expected you would be, I can go earlier than I had initially planned. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No, I'll drive there so I can make my delivery."

Sharon nodded to herself. "All right. We'll leave at nine. Does that work for you?"

"Yeah. I can be there before nine, no problem. Any particular dress code I need to worry about?"

"Hmm." Sharon looked down at her dress. "What are you wearing now?"

"Definitely nothing appropriate for wherever it is you're wanting to go," Andrea said with a small chuckle. "I'm still n bed, so I'm still in what I slept in."

Sharon's brow raised, but she didn't respond right away for fear that her sudden interest in exactly what Andrea was wearing would be detectable in her tone of voice. She knew enough about Andrea's sleeping habits to know the younger woman preferred sleeping in minimal to no clothing, and the only time she slept in pants was when she was sick or sharing a bed with Sharon. Her imagination also had enough material to conjure up an image of Andrea's wonderfully-sculpted bare legs and muscled thighs, an image that made Sharon want to reach out and touch silken skin that she was only imagining being within arm's reach. She curled her fingers into the palm of her hand and squeezed her eyes shut for a second or two, tempted to mentally travel the mountainous terrain that was Andrea's body and unable to resist.

She was quite familiar with Andrea's body, well-acquainted with the delicate slopes and fine lines that combined to create her beautiful figure. She could imagine without any difficulties the light brown moles that dotted the side of Andrea's fair-skinned thigh, seven of them scattered along the tight stretch of skin. In her mind she could see the flexing of muscles in Andrea's back, shoulder blades shifting, back curving, the slight bumpy rise of her spine when she bent over. The nape of Andrea's neck was sensitive, and Sharon could feel – _feel_ , as though Andrea were truly right there with her – the small shiver that always moved through the younger woman's body when Sharon let her lips brush the delicate skin and then her breath blew across it. Sharon had always enjoyed being able to elicit such a beautiful reaction from Andrea's body, but she loved even more the one that she provoked when she laid her head on Andrea's chest and leisurely dragged her fingers up and down Andrea's smooth abdomen.

Sharon felt a slow warmth building low in her belly and pressed her teeth down against her bottom lip to distract her mind from the road it was starting to go down. She cleared her throat, but she did not open her eyes, choosing to hold on to the image of Andrea.

"Back with me?" Andrea asked with a bit of amusement in her tone.

Sharon's skin tickled; a small flush of heat crawled up the column of her neck. "Yes, sorry."

"Don't be. Once I continued talking and realized you weren't listening to me, I figured I had managed the almost impossible and distracted you somehow. Then again, you've always found my good looks distracting. It just took you a while to admit it." Andrea hummed. "So perhaps not too unachievable after all."

Sharon laughed quietly in her throat as she shook her head from side to side. "Someone's in a good mood this morning – and fairly sure of themselves, if I may say so."

Andrea groaned into the phone softly, like she was stretching. "Must be the good night of sleep I had. By the way, I'm sorry for falling asleep on you last night. I might have exhausted myself with all the baking."

Pretty sure that she had been the one to fall asleep on Andrea, Sharon's brow furrowed a little. "I was under the impression that I had fallen asleep and left you awake. I woke up and you weren't on the phone anymore, so I assumed I'd been sleeping for a while and you hung up."

"Uh-uh. My phone died, but I was sleep when that happened."

Sharon hummed softly.

"Anyway, dress code? I should probably get out of bed if I'm going to drop by Fernando's house and still make it to you on time. What are you wearing?"

"Oh. Oh, yes. I'm wearing a dress," she shared, turning to look at the sheath beside her. "Just don't wear jeans."

"Where are we going?" she asked carefully, like it was just dawning on her that she was agreeing to go somewhere with having any clue where that somewhere was.

Sharon smiled lightly. "I thought it didn't matter where I was asking you to join me as long as it meant you had something to do."

Andrea chuckled, and Sharon could hear her starting to move around. "That was before you told me I had to wear a dress."

Sharon rolled her eyes a little. "I said don't wear jeans, not that you had to wear a dress. Would you be more comfortable in pants?"

"I don't know. Suddenly someone sounds very secretive about where she's taking me. I have no idea what to expect."

"Well, first I would like to go to Mass. I haven't been in a few weeks."

"Oh, Sharon, why didn't you keep that a secret? That just knocked off at least half of my enthusiasm."

Sharon snorted. "Did it really? It's only an hour, sweetheart. It'll be over before you know it."

"I must really love you, because I don't even go with my aunts to the synagogue when I go to visit my family and they want to take me with them for prayer. And yet I don't have enough fingers to count the amount of times I've gone with you to one of your services."

"If you truly don't want to go, Andrea–"

"I'm going," she insisted, not sounding as though she truly was against the idea. "I don't mind. I'd like to spend some time with you today, and if you want to do this, I can make an exception for you."

Sharon's fingers twirled around her robe belt as her heart fluttered a little in her chest. Sometimes the small things Andrea said and did for her made the biggest impacts. "Thank you. I appreciate that. Afterwards, I was thinking we could go somewhere for brunch. It'll be my treat."

"Okay, brunch," Andrea said very slowly, "that we'll need to discuss. Your treat usually means you plan on taking me somewhere where you can spoil me and get away with it because you've already got me to agree to letting you pay."

"I do no such thing," Sharon protested, the pitch of her voice changing slightly.

"Oh, honey, yes you do. And you do this whole denial routine each and every time. And then what do you know? We end up at some expensive place where the wine costs so much I'd need a second mortgage just to cover one glass."

"I think that is one of the most ridiculous exaggerations you've ever made." Sharon stood up from the bed and undid her robe, deciding if she was going to continue talking on the phone, she also needed to be getting ready. "I'm putting you on speaker. I need to get dressed."

"Promise me you're not taking me anywhere you know I'd disapprove of."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Sharon," Andrea dragged out, tone slightly warning.

"Andrea, it's one meal," she said while removing her robe and walking over to her dresser. "I've been wanting to do something with you, _for_ you for a while now. This past week has been hectic, and I just wanted to be able to spend some time with you."

"I want that, too. Of course I do."

Sharon leaned against the wood dresser, looking down at her phone. "What would you say to dinner, then? Rusty's going to be studying with a new friend of his, so it would just be the two of us. Perhaps we can have a night out with all three of us in the near future. Tonight, it would just be us, here at my place, and you let me do the cooking."

"Sounds like a date," Andrea mused, and Sharon closed her eyes and breathed out softly. "Is that what it is? Are we–?"

"It's dinner," Sharon answered without really answered the question at all.

"Sharon..."

"It's just dinner. I know we've got some time before, uhm..." Sharon trailed off, but Andrea started speaking before she could pick back up from where she left off.

"I'd love to have dinner with you," Andrea said with an audible smile, and Sharon's heart fluttered with excitement.

"Great," Sharon said with her excitement also clear in her voice.

She had just ended one relationship, and she knew that both she and Andrea agreed that it was best for them not to move right into one of their own. Having things go back to the way they were before she dated Andy, however, Sharon felt was more than acceptable.

"I'm already looking forward to it."

. . .

"Oh, it's you."

Andrea's smile fell from her face as Rusty opened the door for her, just as his fell when he saw her on the other side of it. "You really need to work on how you greet people."

"Sorry," he muttered under his breath as he shut the door after her, shuffling on his sock-covered feet. "I'm expecting someone."

"Yeah, I figured," Andrea said dryly, walking towards the kitchen. "Sharon, I'm here," she called out. She placed the aluminum pan down on the counter. "That's for the two of you."

"I'll be out in one moment. Make yourself comfortable."

Rusty chuckled lowly as he sat on one of the bar stools. "Like Andrea needs to be told to make herself comfortable here. She's already halfway finished getting herself coffee."

"And you offered to get it for her first, right?" Andrea peeked over her shoulder to see Rusty's face pinch guiltily. "Rusty?"

"Well, no," he answered slowly.

"Rusty," Sharon admonished, and Andrea chuckled quietly as she brought the mug of fresh, steaming coffee close to her mouth and blew on it.

"What? She's family, isn't she? Doesn't that mean she can pour herself coffee and use _my_ mug like she doesn't have several around the kitchen that actually belong to her?"

"That's how you open the door to family?" Andrea questioned him with an incredulous tone, nodding her head to the left while she turned to face him, leaning beside the stove.

"Rusty? How did you open the door?"

He groaned and dropped his head on the bar. "I take back every time I said that I like having you both around. Like, seriously."

Andrea rolled her eyes affectionately and drank her coffee silently as she listened to Sharon move around outside of the kitchen. It didn't take long for her to appear, securing an earring that matched the string of pearls around her neck. Andrea discreetly raked her eyes over Sharon from head to toe, taking in the blue dress that accentuated the curves of her body and fell a few inches above her knees, admiring the silky waves of loose brown hair that curled a little at the ends, and then stopping at her bare feet, her toenails painted in a light shade of pink. She smiled against her mug.

Sharon's soft, floaty laugh caught Andrea's attention and made her realize that she wasn't paying attention to the other two people in the room – well, outside of appreciating Sharon's good looks. She straightened up against the counter and raised her eyebrow as Sharon walked into the kitchen and towards her, Rusty leaving them.

"You look lovely," Sharon said as a greeting when she came to stand in front of Andrea.

Andrea moved her mug away from her to put it on the counter, and was pleasantly surprised when Sharon leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to her mouth. It lasted no more than two or three seconds, but when she stepped away, Andrea's insides felt hot and like they were twisted into a heavy knot. Sharon's cheeks were flushed from the simple kiss, which Andrea noticed as the other woman bowed her head and went to the refrigerator. Andrea had to press her lips together tightly to stop herself from grinning widely.

"So do you," she said as an afterthought, far too long after Sharon had complimented her.

Sharon hummed and looked over her shoulder. "I do what?"

Andrea ran her hands through her hair and brought it back as if meaning to put it up, and then she let it fall down on her back. "You look really nice." It was a strange, yet not uncomfortable, feeling being nervous about complimenting Sharon. How many times had she done that in the last ten years? How many times had she blatantly checked the other woman out? But the back of her neck tickled as she licked her lips and cleared her throat. "Beautiful," she said softly. "You look beautiful."

"Oh," Sharon breathed, her lips curving up into the most dazzling smile Andrea had ever seen. She shut the fridge and turned around fully, and Andrea bit the inside of her cheek as Sharon came closer to her. "Thank you. I was actually hoping you might think so," she admitted with a light laugh, the slight blush still on her cheeks.

"Has there been a time that I haven't?!"

Sharon's laughter grew at that, and she hummed in her throat, lifting her brow as if to say, "Yeah, you've got a point."

"I, uhm." Andrea breathed out a breath. "Uhm." She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair again.

"I feel the same way," Sharon said.

"Huh?"

Sharon nodded her head towards Andrea's own. "Nervous."

"Oh, yeah," Andrea muttered as she reached for her coffee. "I forget how easy I am to read."

Sharon, whose hands were gripping the countertop, smiled. "I like to think that I just know you well."

Andrea nodded. "That, too." After allowing herself a moment to drink her coffee and silently watch Sharon look back at her, she rolled her shoulders back and breathed out a long breath. "Why are you nervous?"

"I'm not sure. I wasn't until a moment ago when I kissed you. It just dawned on me that sometime soon, or at least in the near future, that I would kiss you and it would be with an entirely new purpose that would be similar to reasons we've kissed in the past but also completely different." Sharon smiled a little as she added, "I'm looking forward to that."

Andrea could still feel the pleasant warmth from Sharon's lips and nodded her head in agreement. "So am I."

"I-" The doorbell rang, and Sharon's head turned so she could look out the kitchen as she leaned back a little.

"I've got it. I've got it," Rusty called out, his sneakers making noises against the floor. "And I'm leaving."

"Already?" Sharon asked with a surprised tone. "Aren't you going to invite your friend in? Perhaps he'd like–"

"No, no, no," Rusty rushed out, jogging into the kitchen. "Maybe next time. You've got Andrea here, and we really should get going. We don't have much time."

"You're going to be gone until you come home from your classes tomorrow," Andrea said, already knowing that Rusty had plans on spending night with this new friend of his. They had a few classes together, so they were studying for upcoming exams.

"Well."

Sharon nodded her head for him to go, giving him a knowing smile, even if her eyes told that she was a bit disappointed. "Go ahead. Don't leave him waiting at the door all morning. Next time–"

"Yes, next time, promise." Rusty started to rush off again, but he stopped, turned around, and then smiled at them both. "I didn't mean what I said earlier, you know."

"We'll be going out for dinner sometime soon, all three of us. You can tell us how much you enjoy our company then," Andrea said shooing him towards the door. "Go on, we know you love us."

Rusty's smile didn't falter as he nodded and then left them.

"We should probably get going as well," Sharon said after the door clicked shut and she looked at the time.

"Right."

. . .

Sharon tied her apron behind her back and smiled over to Andrea, who was standing at the opening of the kitchen, leaning against the side of the bar. It was early in the evening, and Sharon was getting ready to start cooking dinner. After Mass, Andrea had suggested they still go somewhere for a bite to eat, and then they had walked around aimlessly for a little while before deciding to head back to the condo. After getting settled in, they watched a movie and relaxed on the sofa together, talking about nothing in particular. The busy week had kept them from being able to just sit down with each other and enjoy being together, so they made the best of the quiet day they were fortunate enough to have alone without any disruptions.

"You're supposed to be sitting in the living room, relaxing."

Andrea looked over her shoulder and then back to Sharon with her brow raising a little. "I thought, maybe, you could use some help. You know how much I hate just sitting around by myself. I'd be of more use in here."

Sharon walked over to her and patted her shoulder once before letting her hand slide down the bare arm that was no longer covered by Andrea's silk blouse, the shirt having been removed earlier, leaving Andrea in an oxblood camisole. The satin top with the lace trim that laid atop the creamy white flesh of Andrea's chest was one Sharon hadn't seen before. It revealed skin in windows and gently cupped Andrea's breasts, outlined by the strategic, artful, lacework. When Andrea had taken her shirt off earlier, Sharon had stared with her eyes a little wider than normal, her jaw slackened a bit, her breath momentarily forgotten about – being so intimately familiar with Andrea's body did not lessen the effect the shirt had on her, did not make Andrea look any less alluring.

Standing in the kitchen now, Sharon licked her lips and traced the top of the camisole with her eyes while running her fingers over Andrea's biceps, everything warm, from the skin beneath her fingers to the feeling low in her belly. She cleared her throat and licked her drying lips once more. She had not found Andrea's body any less attractive the past few months, so it was a bit surprising how much more aware of her reactions to Andrea she was now that she no longer had any reasons to feel guilty for it.

"I really like this top on you," Sharon told her as she raised her eyes to meet Andrea's. "The way the color contrasts with your complexion, and these little openings..." Sharon trailed off as Andrea twisted her body so she was properly standing in front of Sharon. Her back was to the bar; her hips pushed forward, towards Sharon. She looked completely relaxed in Sharon's kitchen, in her home, and that more than the tantalizing sight in front of her made Sharon want to keep Andrea close by. "I think you'd be more of a hindrance to my productivity than an actual help, though," Sharon said with a laugh, sliding her palm down the slope of Andrea's stomach.

"Can't keep your hands to yourself, can you?" Andrea teased her, mirth in her eyes.

Sharon didn't deny it. It was rather obvious that she was enjoying being able to touch Andrea freely once again. Andrea, too, had been less careful with where she placed her hands and how she touched Sharon than she had been recently. "If I had any reason to believe you wanted me to, I would." Sharon rubbed her lips together and let her hand slowly glide over the curve of Andrea's breast to the lace below it. "You, however, seem to enjoy having me touch you," Sharon said quietly. She didn't want it to be too much, didn't want to push them forward to something they weren't ready for.

"I do," Andrea said easily. "I don't think I've ever given you reason to believe that I don't."

Sharon shook her head. "No, I can't say that you have. And- -" Sharon smiled, feeling a flutter of _something_ as she whispered, "I probably receive more pleasure from it than you do. To be able to feel you against me in some way has, for as long as I can remember, always made me feel connected to you in a way that I absolutely wouldn't trade for anything else."

Andrea acknowledged her admission with a pleased hum as she dropped her head down and watched Sharon's fingers run along the nearly-transparent material. "Dinner can always wait," Andrea told her in a soft voice. Her chest was rising and falling with a calm rhythm. "You can continue with what you're doing."

Sharon's fingers paused on their journey over Andrea's ribcage. She swallowed slowly and then exhaled through her nose, and then she laughed a little when Andrea's hips rolled forward, as if Andrea's body was seeking her out. "We had a deal," she reminded Andrea. She stepped in closer to the other woman and curled her hand around her waist, feeling the rush of Andrea's breath on her face. "You wouldn't let me take you out for brunch, so I get to make you dinner. Remember that?"

Andrea smiled and pulled her even closer, hands on Sharon's hips, slipping underneath the apron, beneath the shirt she had changed into when they got to the condo. "I never said _when_ you could make me this dinner. The night's still young, and I–"

"Have been purposely making it nearly impossible for me to focus on anything other than you," Sharon said with a mirthful smile. She raised her right hand to Andrea's face and caressed her cheek with the backs of her fingers.

"In my defense, you are partially to blame as well."

"Me?" Sharon laughed.

"Yes, you," Andrea said with a grin. "I was on my best behavior until you started getting handsy."

Sharon hummed and shook her head. "I'll take the blame," Sharon said, and then extracted herself from the arms that were looped around her and trying to keep her where she stood. " _But_ , I'm going to get to work on dinner now. And you, my dear, are going to leave the kitchen so I can do so without finding myself wanting to abandon the task in favor of getting to be wrapped up in your arms. So, off to the living room you go," Sharon insisted, gently pushing her lovable distraction out of the kitchen with her hands on Andrea's back.

"Or you can let me stay." Andrea tried. "Let me help you and we can get dinner ready a lot faster."

Sharon snorted. "I believe we just established that you staying in the kitchen is not going to make anything move at a faster pace. Besides, this is something I want to do _for_ you. There'll be plenty of opportunities for us to cook together in the future." Andrea spun around and took Sharon's hands into her own, making Sharon's breath hitch in her throat from the unexpected quick movement as she was pulled in to Andrea's body. She smiled, though, wrapping her arms around Andrea's neck. "What is it?" she questioned softly, tilting her head slightly.

Andrea shook her head and brushed one of her hands over the side of Sharon's face. "I just can't get over how much things are going to start changing." Her tone did not suggest whether Andrea thought the changes were a good or bad thing for the two of them.

Sharon's smile faltered, her stomach tightening as her eyes closed and she let her head lean against Andrea's. "Are you ready for that?" she wondered aloud, her voice no more than a whisper. They'd spoken a little about the ending of Sharon's relationship with Andy, but not much about what it meant for them. "I'd understand if you weren't. There's no need to rush into anything different from what we already have."

"Honestly? I'm..." Andrea's hands squeezed around her hips, and then Andrea wrapped her arms around Sharon and pulled her in for a proper embrace. Andrea kissed the top of her head through her hair, and Sharon sighed and rested her chin on Andrea's shoulder. "I can honestly say that, yes, with you by my side, I am completely ready for whatever changes are to come our way," Andrea said in a light voice.

Just like that, with only a few reassuring words, Andrea settled the nerves in her belly and replaced them with hopeful fluttering that went all the way up to her chest. Sharon adjusted so her arms were comfortably around Andrea's middle; she wanted to just hold her in her arms for a few moments, feel Andrea against her body and hear the almost unnoticeable inhalation and exhalations of her calm breath in her ear.

Andrea rubbed her hand in slow circles on Sharon's back, warm and soothing, and Sharon sighed once more and felt her body melt into Andrea's. So easily she felt herself relax in Andrea's arms, felt herself fall into her without worrying about whether or not Andrea would support her. She always knew Andrea would. Sharon turned her head and pressed her lips to the side of the other woman's neck and held them there for a few seconds, feeling the warmth of her soft skin. Andrea breathed out a quiet noise, and Sharon's lips curled against her neck, smiling. She brushed a slow kiss across the adored patch of skin, and then another, just as slow, lips delicately moving.

" _Mm_. Let dinner wait for a few minutes," Andrea whispered, walking towards the sofa and bringing Sharon with her, the two of them reluctant to let go of the other. If anything they held each other tighter, taking the tiniest of steps to avoid bumping into furniture. "I promise to stay out of your hair, but first I want something from you."

"Whatever you want," Sharon whispered without hesitation against Andrea's neck, opening her eyes just in time to see the end table Andrea was about to guide them into. Sharon steered them away from it, being their eyes for what Andrea could not see.

"Whatever I want," Andrea repeated, and Sharon could hear the grin in her words and found herself smiling in return. "You should know those are dangerous words, Sharon Raydor."

Sharon laughed. "Are they really? You use them quite frequently with me."

They sat together on the sofa, Andrea on the middle cushion, Sharon on the one to her right, her legs crossed over Andrea's lap. Andrea draped her arm over the back of the sofa, and Sharon's was atop hers, fingers stroking the sensitive skin of Andrea's neck, close to her shoulder. She imagined they looked as though they were completely comfortable with each other – and Sharon knew that they were, that neither of them were more comfortable with another, that they found their peace when they were together.

"I was always prepared to give you whatever, though," was Andrea's response to Sharon once they were sitting down. She pulled Sharon's legs snug against her belly and settled her second arm on top of the tangled limbs, her hand's heat seeping through the material of Sharon's lounge pants as it sat on a lean thigh.

"And you don't think I would do the same for you?" Sharon questioned, lifting her eyebrow curiously.

Andrea's lashes fluttered a little as Sharon's fingers moved in tight circles. She licked her lips and hummed in her throat, momentarily distracted but quickly focusing after a long moment. "That sounds like a trick question."

"It wasn't. I'm genuinely curious about what you think."

Andrea pulled Sharon's hand from her neck and held in her own. "I can tell you how I thought it would be."

"Which is how?"

Andrea dropped her eyes to Sharon's hand and smiled, her thumb gliding over raised veins and knuckles. "The other night when you brought up the similarities between how I love you and how my father loved my mother... Well, I've always expected to love someone with all my heart, you know, give them everything I could. That's how love looked like to me growing up. To love someone meant to want nothing more than wanting to see them happy.

"I've had relationships in the past where, even though it appeared like I was giving my partner what they wanted, I didn't feel as though I was making them happy. _I_ didn't feel happy. Quite often it felt like while I was trying to do everything I could to give them everything, they didn't reciprocate. I believed I had unrealistic hopes for a relationship when I was younger, so my view on relationships started to change. I think that, I don't know, somewhere along the way I started believing that that was the normal way of things – there would always be one person who loved more, who would do more, and that person was me."

"But that isn't how you feel with me, is it?"

"No. I know better." Andrea brought their joint hands to her lips and lifted her eyes to meet Sharon's, holding her gaze as she pressed a long kiss to the top of Sharon's hand.

"Truthfully?" Sharon asked, not wanting Andrea to have any doubt that she was loved with every fiber of Sharon's being.

Andrea smiled at her, and there was a softness to her face that Sharon knew very well – it was the same look that she gave Sharon when they laid in bed together and everything was quiet and still and they didn't speak. It was what serenity looked like. Sharon felt a familiar warmth blooming inside her chest, a smile tugging at her lips. Even without Andrea's verbal answer, Sharon knew, knew that Andrea did not feel unhappy with her, did not feel unloved.

"Look at us, Sharon. I don't think anybody would even dare to think that either of us aren't happy with the other. And, yes, I do believe that you would do whatever you could to make sure I continued to feel this way." Andrea laughed a little in her throat and then leaned her head against the arm that was across the back of the sofa. "I've never doubted that you love me, you know, ever. I will admit that I was a little surprised when I learned that you were in love with me."

"Were you really?"

Andrea smiled with her eyes closed, nodding against her arm. "I think even as it was starting to click into place for me, there was still part of me that was clinging to what I had convinced myself about you wanting to be with Andy. The possibility that you wanted..." Andrea trailed off with a heavy breath.

Sharon brought her free hand to Andrea's head and gently raked her fingers through straight blonde hair. Andrea hummed and let out a softer breath than the one she had exhaled a moment ago.

"I was convinced that you wanted nothing more from me than a friendship, and I was fine with that. Having you in my life and sharing so much with you has been tremendously rewarding these last ten years, and I came to realize a long while ago that, just like I never felt we needed to distinguish the difference between our friendship and others, I never believed we needed a particular label for what we were to make it any more meaningful.

"I was surprised because I was so certain that you didn't want anything other than the relationship we already had."

Sharon considered Andrea's words for a moment in silence before she hummed thoughtfully in her throat. "Do you want to know what it is that I wanted that separates what we were from what I hope we are heading towards?"

Andrea opened her eyes and lifted her head, giving Sharon all of her attention. "Yes, of course.

"You're right about us not needing any specific labels or titles to categorize what we are. You made me understand that years ago. And I'd like to think that we've created a sense of, hmm..." Sharon pursed her lips as she tried to find the words she was looking for to best express her thoughts. "A safe space. We're able to openly discuss our feelings and any desires we might have without feeling as though the other will judge us. I admit to letting my fear of somehow losing something I find precious – you, the relationship we share, the love we have – prevent me from speaking to you sooner. I love you too much to think about the possibility of no longer having you in my life, Andrea."

"But you told me," Andrea said with a tight squeeze to Sharon's hand. "I think we're both guilty of holding back a little, even though I agree that we absolutely have created a safe space where we have no reason to fear the other's reaction to what we have to say. I believed I was hopelessly in love with a woman who I couldn't have the way I wanted, and all of the heartache I felt because of that could have been prevented if I just spoken to you."

Sharon leaned forward and kissed Andrea on the forehead, hating that Andrea had hurt because of any of this. "I'm sorry that I didn't say anything sooner."

Andrea shook her head and brought the hand from the back of the sofa to Sharon's back so she could pull her closer and hold her there. "We made it here. That's what's important. We could have both done something that made it happen sooner, just like we could have both continued to let the other stay in the dark about what we wanted." Andrea kissed the corner of Sharon's mouth gently and whispered, "I'm just happy that everything is out in the open now."

"As am I," Sharon agreed softly, her eyes falling shut as Andrea brushed another kiss to the corner of her lips. She shifted and wrapped her left arm around Andrea's neck and untangled her right hand from Andrea's so she could cup Andrea's cheek. "I think there's a strong chance that we could have ended up right where we are right now some other way, that there were several roads we could have taken that would have led to this."

Andrea hummed while rubbing her cheek against Sharon's palm, and Sharon's eyes closed while she smiled. Andrea pressed another brief kiss to Sharon's face, just below her lips. The light touch from Andrea's gentle mouth made her heart flutter, her belly flip. Andrea trailed her hand up from between Sharon's shoulder blades and into her hair, threading her skillful fingers through the thick waves and massaging Sharon's scalp. Sharon exhaled a pleased sound and slid her hand into Andrea's hair, mimicking her slow strokes and light pulls. When Andrea breathed out, the warm breath blew against Sharon's face.

"I wanted you to know that you're all I want," Sharon whispered, remembering she hadn't told Andrea what separated their past from their future. Her lips brushed Andrea's upper lip and her nose when she spoke, as Andrea teasingly, whether purposely or accidentally, let her own lips dance across Sharon's mouth without properly kissing her. With every touch from Andrea's mouth, no matter how brief, Sharon felt a pleasant tingling sensation against her lips.

"Yeah?" Andrea whispered back, her tone amused, light.

Sharon nodded and pressed her mouth against Andrea's skin, her cheek. "I needed you to know what you mean to me." Andrea slid her hand up Sharon's thigh, and Sharon's breath rushed out past her lips. Andrea's heat warmed her body as she dragged her hand upwards, and it felt remarkable, amazing. "You're–" Sharon sucked in a breath, her lip caught between Andrea's teeth. Andrea slowly released her lower lip and then softly rolled her tongue over it, wet and warm. _"Oh."_

"I want to kiss you," Andrea murmured.

Sharon's body flooded with a new flood of thick, heavy heat. "You are," Sharon responded, feeling that heat flush her cheeks a little.

Andrea pulled back, and Sharon opened her eyes to see the blonde looking at her. Andrea smiled when Sharon's eyes opened, smiled at her lovingly, suddenly appearing breathless. "Well, what I meant was that's what I wanted, earlier. I wanted to come over here and kiss you for a little while."

Sharon licked her lips, feeling her heart beat like a drum in her chest. She feared that it was so quiet in the room that Andrea could hear the organ loudly pounding. It did not beat away crazily in her chest because of nerves but instead because of excitement. She wanted Andrea to keep kissing her, to put her mouth over hers properly and let Sharon return the kisses she was giving her. She'd been wanting another kiss, a much longer one, from the moment she pressed her lips to Andrea's earlier in the morning. Sharon loved kissing Andrea just as much as she loved being able to hold and touch her – Sharon loved being connected to the other woman, and it was a beautiful feeling knowing that Andrea felt just as she did.

"Come here, then," Sharon urged, sliding her hand down to Andrea's arm and pulling her. "Come here," she said again, softer, sweeter, her eyes looking into Andrea's as she started to move.

Sharon laid back against the sofa arm with a cushion behind her back, her hips shifted forward so she could recline while Andrea moved from underneath Sharon's legs. Sharon removed her glasses and Andrea took them from her and put them on the coffee table. She placed one knee between Sharon's hip and the sofa, and the foot of her other leg remained on the floor while she hovered over Sharon. Sharon could see the slight trepidation in Andrea's eyes, so she reached up with both of her hands and caressed Andrea's smooth cheeks.

"What I said, whatever you want, I meant it," Sharon told her as she tucked a lock of hair behind Andrea's ear. She trailed her hand down to her neck and let her fingers curl around it.

Andrea licked her lips and leaned down, moving closer. "What do you want? I don't want to move too fast."

She never had, had respected Sharon's boundaries from the very beginning. Sharon smiled, her heart swelling in her chest as lifted her head up. "It's been years, sweetheart. If you want to kiss me, I won't think it's too fast." Sharon's eyes dropped down to Andrea's mouth, lips reddened by lipstick that was smudged a little. Her skin was growing warmer, her body full of delicious anticipation. "And I, I would really love to be kissing you right–"

Sharon cut herself off with a gasp as Andrea's mouth quickly covered hers and one of her lips was sucked into the incredible warmth hidden behind Andrea's own lips. The moment Sharon assured Andrea that she wanted the same thing Andrea did, the younger woman's body seemed to just fall into hers as though it was controlled by a force greater than the two of them. Breasts pressed to breasts, hips colliding, thighs sliding against each other's, Andrea made herself comfortable on top of Sharon's lithe body. Sharon only pulled her closer, one hand cupping the back of Andrea's head while the other slid down her back and held her, satin clutched in her fist.

To have kissed Andrea before meant nothing in that moment. It was all so very new when their lips stroked and Andrea moaned into her mouth, not the sensation of soft lips gliding across her own and fueling the fire that grew deep inside her, but the fact that she was kissing the woman that not only held a permanent spot in her heart, who she loved with such fierceness that the very thought of it made her head spin, but also that the woman, Andrea, loving, beautiful Andrea, who sighed as they kissed and stroked Sharon's cheek tenderly, knew that Sharon loved her, that she was _in love_ with her. The love between the two of them made all the difference when the Andrea kissed her.

It was not just a kiss, not just the sweet meeting of tongues when Andrea pried Sharon's lips apart and licked slowly into Sharon's mouth. It was not just a kiss, not just the rush she felt from her head to her toes when she tilted her head up and whispered Andrea's name and heard the quietest of moans in response. It was not just a kiss, not just muscles flexing beneath her hand nor fingers trailing across her skin to draw nonsensically over her heated flesh.

It was not just a kiss.

Sharon moved both of her hands to Andrea's back and, as their lips took their time to delicately brush over the other's mouth, she felt something warm and happy glow inside of her. It was not just a kiss, because they had kissed before, and she had no doubt that they would kiss plenty more in their time together.

It was a beginning, a marvelous, beautiful start to a long journey she would travel with the only person she wanted to spend the rest of her life giving her love to.

Sharon's lips migrated away from Andrea's, pressing small kisses along the curve of her cheek and then to her ear. She could feel Andrea's heavy breaths on the side of her face and smell the scent of her shampoo, one she recognized, something with coconut in it. She hummed and continued kissing her way downward, her nose burying itself in the crook of Andrea's neck, in her warmth. She wanted to stay there, wanted to keep Andrea close to her and just enjoy the feeling of being connected to the woman she loved.

"You would do whatever you could to see me happy," Sharon said softly after a moment or two, adjusting so she could look into Andrea's eyes, "but all I want from you, all I ever want from you, is for you to let me make you happy."

Andrea's face softened, her eyes full of adoration. "I love you," she whispered. "I love you, and I have never been happier with anyone than I am with you, Sharon."

Sharon leaned up and pressed her lips Andrea's and held them there for a long moment as her eyes closed and her heart swelled with Andrea's love. She needn't say anything, nor do anything else, for she knew that sometimes words were not necessary and they communicated just as easily in the moments of silence.

 _to be continued…_


	13. Chapter 13

13.

It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, the day before they would be leaving for New York, and yet, spread out around the front of the condo, Sharon, Rusty, and Andrea sat, listening to classical music that Andrea usually associated with Christmas. _Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy_ from The Nutcracker was currently playing, and, unsurprisingly, Sharon was softly humming along with it while she worked at her desk. Andrea and Rusty would share small looks every few minutes, both of them hiding smiles as they glanced at Sharon and then each other. Andrea had spent four nights at the apartment since last week, and each of those nights Sharon had been, in some way, getting ready for the holiday that was still more than a month away. There were the boxes that were starting to show up from her storage unit – baubles, angels, and one with string lights that were so tangled that Andrea had suggested that buying new ones would be a better idea – and there was Christmas music and two movies.

Andrea sat cross-legged on the sofa, and Rusty was working at the table. Everybody was trying to get whatever last minute work they needed to finish up done before they left so they could leave without worrying about what would happen in their absence. Andrea had a meeting in the morning with one of her colleagues and was preparing a few notes for him. Sharon would be stopping by her office to make sure her division had everything under control – which, Andrea had said, they did, even if they would probably encounter a few bumps in the road, as they tended to do. Rusty was finishing up an assignment for the last class he had before he was officially on break for the holiday. He was also compiling a list of questions for Mark, Rusty's new friend, who he was collaborating with on his latest project, much to both Sharon and Andrea's surprise, who were used to him preferring to work independently.

They were leaving late in the night Wednesday, due to arrive a little after seven o'clock in the morning in New York. After spending over an hour on the phone with the airline, Sharon and Andrea were able to change their tickets so that they weren't on two opposite ends of the plane like they had originally been when Sharon snagged up two of the last handful of available seats on their flight for her and Rusty. They wouldn't be able to sit side-by-side, not all three of them, but they now had two seats together and one directly in front of it. Rusty had volunteered to take the single seat, as had Andrea, but Rusty reminded her that he did not enjoy flying and would be sleeping the whole time while she and Sharon could keep each other company.

They were mostly packed for their short trip, each of them with a bag they could carry onto the plane, and Andrea's brother, David, who lived in New Jersey and would be going over to their old family house tomorrow with his wife and kids, had already insisted on picking them up from JFK airport Thursday. It was a nice change when everything seemed to happen as it should without many difficulties, and Andrea, albeit not the most excited about their departure from Los Angeles to New York, was looking forward to a break from the chaos and highs that commonly made an appearance in all of their lives.

Leroy Anderson's _Sleigh Ride_ started up, and Andrea's pen started to dance in the air with the music absently as she read over a page in the law book that sat on her lap. Before she met Sharon, Andrea had never cared much for Christmas music, or the holiday itself, but it was hard not enjoying it at least a little when Sharon was so fond of it and there was a guarantee that Andrea would be surrounded by the festive music this time of year. It was Sharon's favorite holiday – which meant a lot when talking about a woman who found a reason to celebrate everything and went out of her way to make each holiday special. And because of that, because of how excited Sharon got around this time of year and how much happier she usually was, Andrea had started looking forward to the holiday season a little more each year she knew Sharon. She couldn't get enough of seeing Sharon so wonderfully filled with unadulterated joy, and she made no apologies for how much she loved seeing Sharon like that. If it meant sitting through hours of Christmas music, Andrea would do it. The way Sharon's face lit up was worth it.

. . .

Feeling eyes on her, Sharon looked away from her laptop. She was not surprised to discover Andrea looking her way – she'd been doing a lot of that throughout the evening – and simply offered the other woman a smile, one that was, at first, small, with her lips pressed together, but, upon seeing Andrea's radiant smile in return, grew to something wider, with teeth and warmth that she knew Andrea could see in her eyes. They held each other's eyes for a few moments, and then Andrea ducked her hand and started writing on the legal pad that was beside her on the arm of the sofa. Sharon continued looking at her for a little while, giving her eyes a break from the laptop's screen.

Sharon removed her glasses and neatly folded them. She laid them down on her desk and then stretched her back and rolled her neck. A large yawn started growing as she moved her shoulders back and forth, and she raised her hand to cover her mouth with the back of it. She was about ready for sleep, was really only waiting for Andrea to finish up at this point. Her own work was done for the day, but Andrea still had papers and books scattered across the coffee table and sofa, appearing to have the same amount of organization as Rusty's things did on the dining table. Sharon smiled to herself as she looked from Andrea to Rusty, both of them with mugs of coffee that wouldn't keep either of them up much longer. Rusty had made her some herbal tea when he put on the coffee. Unlike the two of them, Sharon stayed away from caffeine at night.

Sharon yawned again, her eyes watering a little, and decided to go ahead and shut her laptop down and get ready for bed. It had been an easy couple of days this week, thankfully, but it was already after eleven o'clock and she'd been awake since a little after six o'clock. So after another minute or two of just sitting there, she turned her laptop off and picked up her empty teacup and saucer. She brought it to the kitchen, washed it by hand, and then wiped down the counters and bar.

She couldn't have been in the kitchen for longer than five minutes, but when she finished up, Rusty had already piled up all of his papers and they were tucked in his laptop, his mug in the hand that wasn't holding the computer.

"Off to bed?" she asked him, pulling her cardigan around her.

"Gonna finish up in my room. That chair's starting to get uncomfortable."

Sharon nodded in understanding and gave his shoulder a squeeze as he past her. "I'll see you in the morning. Have a good night."

"Thanks," he said, "you, too." Then he turned to Andrea and said, "Night, Andrea."

Andrea looked up, tucking a pen behind her ear as she smiled at both Rusty and Sharon. "Goodnight, Rusty." Her eyes traveled to Sharon. "You off to bed, too?"

As Rusty left them for his room, Sharon walked over to the back of the sofa and placed her hands on Andrea's shoulders. "Yes, I think I am," she told her as she gripped Andrea's shoulders tightly.

"Mmm." Andrea rolled her shoulders, and Sharon's hands squeezed again. "I'll join you shortly. I'm almost finished up in here."

Sharon hummed and nodded her head. She leaned over the sofa and was met halfway by Andrea when she went to kiss the other woman's lips briefly – or, at least that had been her intention. Andrea craned her neck and cupped the back of Sharon's head and pulled her back when she started to pull away. Sharon chuckled against Andrea's lip, and their kiss was more the meeting of two smiles than anything else as Andrea's lips curled against her own.

"Have I ever told you that you give the softest kisses?" Andrea murmured. "And I absolutely love them."

Sharon laughed against Andrea's mouth again, but this time she let her hand caress Andrea's cheek and then cup the side of her face to hold her in place while her own head tilted so she could deepen the kiss. Her tongue slowly licked Andrea's lower lip, and then the top, then right between the two before her lips slowly, gently, with the softest possible pressure, sucked one of Andrea's lips into the velvety warmth of her mouth. Andrea let out a long but soft moan that Sharon closed her eyes and lost herself in it for a second or two before she brushed her lips against Andrea's a few more times.

When she pulled away from her lips, she moved to Andrea's ear and whispered, "I'll be waiting for you in bed," her voice low as her breath teased the shell of Andrea's ear.

Andrea's eyes fluttered open as Sharon straightened up, and there was a lovely dash of color across her cheek. Andrea cleared her throat and pulled at the neck of her tee shirt. "And there goes the rest of my productivity for the night." Andrea licked her lips. She looked into Sharon's eyes and grinned widely, beautifully. "There's no way I'll be able to concentrate on anything after that."

"Uh-uh, finish up here," Sharon insisted. "You and I both know you're not going to want to get up and work on anything early in the morning before your meeting."

Andrea wrinkled her brow. "I _know_ you're right, and I _know_ I should go ahead and finish, but–"

"No, no, no. Say no more. Go ahead and finish, and then you can join me in bed."

Andrea reached over the sofa and with her right arm and wrapped it around Sharon, making Sharon lean against it. "I can be finished in, uh, maybe ten minutes. When I'm done..."

Sharon's brow raised, her lips slowly forming a smile as Andrea's eyes moved down to her lips. It was still new to them, the amount of kissing they'd been doing the last week, but Sharon received such a delicious wave of desire every time she could see how badly Andrea wanted to kiss her. It was the only obvious change in their relationship. Kissing for them before had mostly excluded the lips, and when it didn't, it was never just for the pleasure of kissing the other. The last week, though, they'd shared several kisses for just that reasons, just because they enjoyed the way it felt to be kissing the other woman, because they _wanted_ to be kissing each other.

Andrea squeezed Sharon's hip, and Sharon hummed in her throat and pressed herself into Andrea's hand. "When you're finished, I might, _might,_ welcome you to bed with another kiss."

"Good enough for me. I'll take it." Andrea gave her hip one more squeezed before pulling her arm back. "I'll meet you in the back. I need to hurry up and finish."

Sharon nodded and leaned back down again, this time kissing the top of Andrea's head. "Don't rush. I won't be going anywhere."

Andrea hummed, pulling her pen from behind her ear. "No, you're definitely not. You've got a very determined woman who plans on keeping you around for a really long time."

"Lucky me," Sharon breathed into Andrea's coconut-scented hair before standing up straight. "Want me to turn the music off?"

Andrea shook her head. "No. I'm actually enjoying it."

"All right." She patted Andrea's shoulder and then headed for the bedroom.

. . .

Andrea laid in bed with her arms folded back, her hands clasped beneath her head as she looked up at the ceiling. Sharon's head was on her stomach, her hair tickling Andrea's exposed skin with some of her exhalations. The lights were out, and the room's only noise was the faint sounds of their breathing. They'd not said nor did anything since Andrea had been kissed at the foot of the bed, where she stood and Sharon kneeled in front of her, hands framing Andrea's face. It was a tender, slow kiss that they had shared, and it made Andrea's knees weak and her heart beat rapidly. Sharon's mouth was exquisite, unbelievably soft, and she kissed Andrea like she was trying to fill her body with love and desire in equal measures – and damn did she do exactly that.

"Can I ask you something?"

Sharon lifted her head from Andrea's stomach, her arm still draped over Andrea's middle, Sharon's elbow now painfully pressing into her. She grunted and shifted her hips while pushing Sharon's arm lower. "Oh, oh. I'm so sorry."

Sharon quickly adjusted, and when she finished moving on the bed, she ended up on her back, also looking up at the ceiling, head back on Andrea's stomach, perpendicular to Andrea, who was laying across the foot of the bed. Andrea smiled down at Sharon when she finished getting herself comfortable, and then she brought her hand to Sharon's hair. Sharon wrapped one of her arms around Andrea's thighs and mimicked Andrea's slow stroking, running her fingers up and down her bent legs.

"What's on your mind?" Sharon asked softly.

"Nothing serious. I'm just a little curious."

Sharon hummed and turned her head to the side. "What do you want to know?"

Andrea continued massaging Sharon's scalp without answering her question, and soon she felt Sharon turn her head back so she was looking at the ceiling again. Andrea closed her eyes, feeling tired but not sleepy enough for sleep just yet.

"Did you date before you met Jack? I mean, did you– Well, no, that is what I mean. Not necessarily in any serious way – I'm not excluding chaperoned dates when you were still a teenager."

Sharon's fingers paused for a moment, but then she hummed and started moving them again. "Not much, no. I'd gone on perhaps two or three dates before Jack started showing interest in me. The boy I went to prom with – I believe his name was Billy, or something else that was quite simple and easy to forget – somehow charmed my father enough to get his approval to take me out one evening, and then again to escort me to our senior prom. There'd been a very strict 'no dating' rule put into place years before that, so I've always wondered what he did to convince my father.

"There had been someone in college just before I met Jack – he was a male chauvinist, and I have no idea what I was thinking when I agreed to go out with him. We didn't even make it through dinner, I don't think." She laughed a little and shook her head against Andrea. "No, we argued the entire time, and I had had enough before our meals were even brought out."

Andrea responded with a noise in her throat so Sharon didn't misinterpret her silence for something it wasn't.

"Why do you ask?" Sharon questioned after a few moments, sounding just as relaxed as Andrea felt. Sharon could probably fall asleep like this, with her hair being played with and her scalp massaged while she rested on Andrea's stomach – she'd done so often enough in the past.

"I was thinking. I knew that Andy was the only person you had dated since we met, but–"

"I haven't dated many different people. I wouldn't even consider including the dates I just mentioned if asked about my romantic past," Sharon said, pausing to yawn. "Before Andy, there was only Jack. I know I don't often talk about the good times in our relationship, but..." Sharon trailed off with a thoughtful sound.

"You loved him deeply," Andrea said knowingly.

" _We_ loved each other deeply," she said softly. "In the very beginning, I was crazy about him. He was charismatic like nobody I had ever known before, and I fell remarkably fast." Sharon laughed a little, and Andrea opened her eyes and looked down at her for a moment. "Nobody had ever looked at me the way Jack did back then."

"How did he...?" Andrea gestured with her hand vaguely, even though Sharon could not see.

Sharon turned her head to look at Andrea, and although there was a small smile on her lips, there was sadness in her eyes that made Andrea's heart clench tightly in her chest when she saw it. "Like he knew he would spend the rest of his life loving me." She snorted and rolled her eyes. "I don't need to tell you how deceiving that look was."

Andrea didn't have anything nice to say about Jack, so she didn't comment. She didn't like the man, and she hated him for how badly he hurt Sharon, Sharon who had continued to be supportive when he didn't deserve her in his life.

"Why were you thinking about that?"

Andrea shook her head and then shut her eyes back. "No reason. My mind has been all over the place lately, honestly. It was just something that popped up." Sharon hummed. "I guess I was also wondering what you're, you know, expecting here with us."

"I don't have any expectations, Andrea." Sharon pulled away from Andrea's hand and, although she did not open her eyes, she knew Sharon had moved to lay beside her. She instantly felt her warmth against the side of her own body, inviting and irresistible.

"You don't?" she questioned as she shifted closer to Sharon, wanting to be nearer.

Sharon breathed out softly, and Andrea felt the air on her neck. "I guess that's not exactly true. I should say that I don't have any major expectations."

"Well, yeah. Nobody truly has absolutely no expectations going into a relationship, but I'm asking about the major ones." Andrea slowly shifted again and rolled to her side so she could look into her eyes as she spoke. "I'm happy with you the way things are right now. I'll continue being happy with you if nothing were to change from the way they currently are."

Sharon brought her hand up and touched the tips of her fingers to Andrea's cheek, softly, and then rested her palm on Andrea's face, her skin cooler than Andrea's own. "As would I. But you're not bringing this up because you're uncertain about how I feel," Sharon said in that tone that meant she knew exactly what was on Andrea's mind – which shouldn't shock Andrea after all these years; Sharon knew her better than anyone else did. "You're wondering if things will change."

Andrea's response was nonverbal, and not much of an answer at all. Sharon smiled and moved her head closer to Andrea, and then those smiling lips, lips Andrea was becoming more familiar with than she had previously imagined she ever would, pressed to her own for a kiss. Andrea's heart still fluttered like crazy every time Sharon did that, just pressed her mouth to her own and held it there, warm and gentle on her lips. Andrea kissed Sharon back and felt herself smiling when Sharon pulled back and looked into her eyes, the room dark but Sharon's eyes still holding a light that Andrea could see.

"Is that what you want to talk about, hmm?" She tenderly stroked Andrea's face and neck, with such gentleness that she might believe she was imagining the delicate touch that made goose bumps appear if not for the fact that she was watching Sharon. "In what ways our relationship might change," she elaborated.

"Yes," Andrea answered simply. She lifted her head up and cradled it in her hand, bending her arm at the elbow. "Would that be all right with you?"

Sharon nodded and yawned behind her hand. "Perhaps we should get in bed the correct way first," she said with a laugh. "I think I'm much sleepier than I said I was."

Andrea yawned as well, and then they were both laughing. It was that easier laughter, the kind that just flowed out without a care, real, unrestrained laughter. Andrea's heart swelled at the sound of Sharon laughing, and without warning, she rolled Sharon, who was in the process of getting up, back on to her back and covered Sharon's body with her own. Sharon's laughter slowed down, quieted, but Andrea could still feel it in her chest, vibrating, and see it in her eyes and smile when she looked up at Andrea.

The seconds between the end of their laughs and the beginning of what came next was only filled with the quietest of sounds, noises that would not be heard if one were not listening for them – hearts beating as they tried to meet in the space between their two chests, breaths leaving noses and lips, the rustle of the covers as feet and legs brushed them so they could touch those belonging to the other woman. Andrea's hair had been put up earlier in the night, but at some point it had fallen free, and Sharon tucked it behind both ears before resting her hands on Andrea's shoulders.

"You were laughing when I realized I'd fallen in love with you."

And it wasn't what was expected, she could tell, not even a little bit, but Andrea could see the way Sharon entire face transformed when Andrea spoke, with age lines that deepened and lips that stretched into a brilliant smile, that amazed-beyond-belief look in her eyes.

"I don't remember when it was, honestly. I don't remember what it was that made you laugh. I just remember looking at you and knowing, knowing for certain, that I was madly in love with you and there was no turning back." Andrea could feel her heart beating faster, or Sharon's heart beating against her, or the combination of the two – either way, it was fierce and powerful. "You have no idea how damn beautiful you are when you're just laughing and you're not holding back. God, you're gorgeous."

Sharon stared at her, unblinkingly, without saying anything – until she expelled a shuddering breath and squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened her eyes back, she cleared her throat and licked her lips. "You're going to have to stop that, saying things like that when I'm not expecting it, making me feel breathless with only your words." She shifted and reached for Andrea's hand to bring it to her chest, where Andrea could feel what was definitely Sharon's heart racing.

 _Wow_ , Andrea thought, feeling its force, its strength, the organ pumping harder and faster than Andrea could ever remember feeling it beat when she would listen to Sharon's heartbeat.

"Nearly eleven years, eleven long years, and you still make me feel the way I did in the very beginning when you would flirt with me and I would get butterflies. Only difference now is you do it all the time, make me feel so..." Sharon laughed and shook her head, and Andrea smiled down at her, propped up a bit on her left arm while her right hand stayed on Sharon's chest.

"I thought you weren't into me then," Andrea said with an eye roll and a chuckle, "hmm?"

"I hardly was," Sharon said, and it was a lie, a terrible, terrible lie.

"You can't even look at me when you say that."

Sharon turned her head back and looked into Andrea's eyes, and Andrea looked back with a hopeful smile – which, of course, made Sharon smirk as she lifted her head and pecked Andrea's lips. "I thought you were sweet, I'll admit that."

"Oh my god." Andrea gave Sharon another, more exaggerated, eye roll. "Just admit it. You were attracted to me, and you enjoyed having me flirt with you."

Sharon's smirk turned into a proper smile, but she didn't say anything. She was amused, and Andrea also knew that Sharon was aware this was something she couldn't lie about – Andrea knew when she was lying.

"Seriously?"

Sharon snorted. "If you're so confident that I found you attractive, why do you insist on me telling you?"

"Maybe I just want to hear you say it."

"Okay," Sharon said, and then suddenly she was rolling them over so Andrea was on her back.

"O-kay," Andrea repeated, more question-like as Sharon's hands started patting down her body. "Uhm. What are you doing?"

Sharon looked at Andrea with a straight face and said, very seriously, "Patting you down to make sure you're not trying to record this to use it against me." However, her words were barely out before she started giggling and she buried her head in the crook of Andrea's neck, who started laughing right along with her as the vibration of Sharon's giggling tickled her neck.

"Are you sure you weren't just trying to feel me up?" Andrea joked, wrapping one of her legs around Sharon. "Because that's what it felt like."

Sharon's giggle turned into a full laugh, and she lifted her to look at Andrea, brow raised. There was something terribly attractive about Sharon's playful side. Andrea buzzed with excitement whenever Sharon was relaxed and in a good mood and she let it come out.

"Didn't know I needed an excuse for that. Have my privileges been revoked without warning?"

Andrea dragged her teeth over her bottom lip and shook her head from left to right. "Only if you continue denying that you were a little attracted to me from the start. You may have not been thinking about getting into my pants back then, but you weren't as uninterested as you led me to believe."

Sharon gasped and covered her mouth with one of her hands until her laughter died down completely. "Are you insinuating that there has been a time that I wanted to _get into your pants_ , Andrea Hobbs?"

"Oh, come on. We are _way_ past either of us needing to deny that." Andrea swallowed and lowered her voice to a quieter whisper than it had already been. "Not only have you gotten further than some of the women I've actually dated, you've told me yourself – multiple times, I'm going to point out – that you've wanted to fuck me."

Sharon hummed and leaned her head back down, moving so she could kiss below Andrea's ear. "When I knew I could turn you on, which I have never denied enjoying, I have, I admit, said some things to that effect. But I'm quite certain that I've never actually said that I wanted to 'fuck you'," she said slowly, her voice only loud enough for Andrea to hear. "Touch you, yes." She brushed her warm lips over Andrea's sensitive earlobe. "Run my hands over your naked body," she continued, voice raspier, making Andrea's breath catch, "certainly. I think I might have even told you once that I wanted to find out how you tasted."

Andrea squeaked, her eyes slamming shut. "Fuck."

"Ah, yes. You had a similar response to that one the first time I said it to you." Sharon made a sound in her throat. "I'm curious. Do you truly believe I was always attracted to you? Or do you just enjoy this back and forth, hmm?"

"Both, if I'm being honest."

Sharon hummed and pulled away, so Andrea opened her eyes to look at her. "All right. I thought you were beautiful, yes, of course." Sharon licked her lips, holding herself up with her hands on either side of Andrea.

"And...?"

Sharon smiled a little. "I was flattered, as I told you back then."

Andrea reached up and gathered Sharon's hair and brought it to one shoulder. "You enjoyed being flirted with," Andrea told her, daring her to deny it while she leaned up and pressed her lips to Sharon's shoulder.

Sharon's breath shook a little as she agreed. "I did."

"But..." Andrea's nose followed the curve of Sharon's bone, and her lips grazed the skin just below.

"You scared me."

Not expecting Sharon's answer, Andrea pulled back, her eyes searching Sharon's face for a deeper meaning to what she had said. Not finding one, Andrea smiled at her and waited for her to elaborate on her own.

Sharon readjusted, sitting up and straddling Andrea before she answered the question that Andrea hadn't asked. "We connected in a way I'd never – and still haven't – connected with anyone else before. I felt it that first day. I don't know if you did or not, but I did."

"If I told you I didn't just give my number to all the pretty women who let me buy them coffee and help them undress, would you believe me?"

Sharon snorted. "That day, probably not. You were a relentless flirt. Knowing you now, having gotten the delightful pleasure of learning about the kind of woman you are..." Sharon trailed off with a smile. "The fact that you were a woman was never the issue for me. I was being honest when I said I'd never dated a woman before, as you know, but, you're right. I did find you attractive. I think if I were interested in dating at the time, and feeling so connected to a stranger hadn't terrified me, I would have called you. I wouldn't have gone out with you on a date then, but maybe a few months later I would have."

"I'm glad you weren't interested in dating anyone," Andrea told her honestly, making Sharon's brow wrinkle with confusion. She took Sharon's hands into her own and laced their fingers together. "I don't think our relationship would have developed into anything like this if we had started dating then. I don't think either of us would have opened ourselves up the way we did as friends."

"Perhaps not." Sharon looked down at their hands and hummed, lips pressed together tightly.

"What?" Andrea whispered.

"I was thinking about your question from earlier, about what changes might occur."

"Yeah?" Andrea stroked the edge of one of Sharon's digits with her thumb. "What are you thinking about?"

"Taking a bath." Sharon's eyes slowly lifted, and there was something in the way she looked at Andrea that made her heart skip a beat with excitement. "More accurately, I was thinking about taking a bath with you. You might have inadvertently put the idea in my head the other week."

"What makes you think I didn't purposely put that idea in your head? You know I enjoy–"

"Being a tease," Sharon said with a throaty laugh, cutting Andrea off.

Andrea grinned, not denying it.

"Anyway, I'd like to."

"Take a bath with me?"

Sharon nodded. "Not what you were expecting, is it?"

"That you'd want to get me naked?" Sharon laughed and released Andrea's hand to swat her shoulder. Andrea took her hand back and brought it to her mouth for a kiss against Sharon's palm, and then her wrist. "I wasn't sure what to expect."

"Some time after we come back, at your house, I'd like that. It doesn't have to be any time soon. It's just something that I don't think I would have been comfortable with before that, now, after everything, I would love to do with you."

Andrea nodded slowly. "Bubble bath for two? Maybe some champagne, some fruit..."

Sharon moaned and leaned over. "Now you're just trying to spoil me," she said in that breathy way that made her smile audible.

"I didn't even get to the best part," Andrea murmured, tilted her head back so her lips could brush against Sharon's.

"Let it be a surprise. I love a good surprise."

Andrea hummed and, faster than Sharon could probably process, pulled Sharon down to her and then rolled them over so she was on top of Sharon once again for the night She slid her hand down Sharon's thigh and then pulled Sharon against her. Sharon's breath rushed out, and Andrea grinned.

"How's that for a surprise?" Andrea whispered, kissing her way to Sharon's jaw. She nibbled and kissed, making Sharon's breath do that soft panting thing that made Andrea feel like she was slowly being submerged in some type of thick, heated liquid.

"Not bad," Sharon whispered, hands sliding underneath Andrea's shirt to stroke Andrea's back– no, not her back.

Andrea arched into Sharon's palm, moaning softly as Sharon's hand squeezed her breast. "Trying to one up me?"

Sharon ran her thumb over Andrea's sensitive nipple, and the flesh instantly tightened and peaked, hardening. "Of course not. I only wanted to remind you that, as much as I've restrained from touching you in certain ways lately, I am in no way uninterested in your body, Andrea."

Andrea smiled at Sharon, looking into her eyes with amusement in her own. "I didn't think you were."

"I wasn't sure if that's what you had been wondering about regarding the changes in our relationship."

"It wasn't," Andrea said honestly.

Sharon kissed Andrea's lips quickly. "I still want you to know that sex isn't off the table."

"I want to make love to you, too, Sharon," Andrea said through a grin,

Sharon rolled her eyes affectionately and gave Andrea one more kiss. "Tonight, however, I would like to get some sleep. And you need to do the same because you have an early meeting in the morning."

Andrea groaned a little. "For future references, talking about meetings in bed is a total mood killer, honey."

Sharon laughed and squeezed Andrea's breast. "Don't be so sure of that. I have spent a long time finding out what gets you aroused, Andrea. I'm sure I could figure out how to make even that get you hot."

Andrea's eyebrow rose, but Sharon leaned up and kissed her, quieting whatever possible comments she would have in return.

 _to be continued..._


	14. Chapter 14

14.

Sharon found herself deep in thought as she waited on line to order something for the trio to eat inside LAX. A flight had just arrived a little further down the terminal, so despite the restaurant's closing time quickly approaching, there were many people ahead of her. They had eaten an early dinner because of a last minute meeting Sharon was told she needed to attend, and that had been hours ago. Rusty had mentioned wanting a cheeseburger, so Sharon had offered to go get something for all of them so she could also stretch her legs. From her spot on line she could see Rusty and Andrea tucked into their chairs, Rusty with his laptop open on his lap and Andrea deep in the book she had started when they arrived at the airport. She smiled fondly to herself, thinking about how lovely of a sight it was seeing the two of them together like that and having them waiting for her to return to the seat between them.

When Andrea had invited Sharon and Rusty to Thanksgiving with her family, she hadn't even considered turning down the offer. With everything that had been happening at that moment with figuring out her relationship with Andy and dealing with her feelings for Andrea, there was still no hesitation, no questioning whether she should go or not. One of Sharon's favorite parts of the holiday season was spending time with her family, and Andrea _was_ her family. They'd spent every Thanksgiving with each other since they met, or at least spent part of it together when something prevented them from being together the whole day. Like she had told Andrea, she hadn't considered they wouldn't be spending this one together. It wasn't until Andrea brought him up that Andy even crossed her mind, and even after that she had no intention of spending the holiday with him if that meant she would not be able to be with Andrea, who had asked her to join her on her trip to her hometown for the holiday the next morning.

She hadn't told Andy about her Thanksgiving plans while they were dating since they weren't a sure thing until they day before their relationship came to an end. Sharon was not sure how he would have taken it, and a part of her had felt guilty for making the decision without first talking about it to him. However, Sharon knew that there was nothing he could have said that would have made her want any less to be with Andrea and Rusty on Thanksgiving. There was no going back now to talk to him about it before making a decision that could have potentially affected both of them, and there was honestly no reason to think about it now, not after the way things turned out. She hadn't wanted to believe it, despite there being signs she'd been aware of, but their relationship had stopped holding the level of importance to her that she thought it should have long before they ended it. Andrea would have always came first in the end, and there was no way a relationship with another person would have worked out in the long run for her because of that.

When Andy did find out that she and Rusty were traveling with Andrea to spend the time with her family, it was not as her significant other, or even really as her friend. He had found out with the rest of the team when she vaguely shared that she would be in New York. Andy had asked if it was just her and Rusty going, and there'd been something in his tone that gave away what he was truly asking. He wanted to know if Andrea was going, and he was probably curious about what was going on between them now that Sharon was no longer seeing Andy. Andrea and Sharon had decided together to keep their lunches and non-professional meetups outside of her office for his benefit. Andrea, ever-considerate, didn't want it to appear as though they were flaunting their relationship or anything of the sort, especially not so soon after Sharon and Andy had split. Despite their decision to continue on without any sorts of labels, it was clear to them both that what they were now was different from what they had been before her relationship with Andy started, and they were sure it was becoming obvious to those around them as well.

Andy and Sharon had spoken very little to each other on a personal level since that night in the diner, and all of those conversations had been short and hurried. Andy didn't even look at her most days. When he did, there was a look in his eyes that made her heart ache for him. She'd always thought he wore his feelings out plainly on his face, but when he was hurting and looking as if he'd just lost something he loved dearly, there was a deep sadness that spilled out of him that she wished she knew how to get rid of. It was never her intention to cause him any pain, but she was reminded on a daily basis that she had. When he didn't look at her, Sharon found it hurt her more. To think that he couldn't even look at her these days when she was so used to him barely being able to keep his eyes off of her... He needed time, she reminded herself. He wanted to find a way to be her friend again. She just needed to let him get to that place at his own pace.

Shaking her head to clear away the thoughts of Andy, Sharon pulled her knitted cardigan around her and then crossed her arms and stepped up in the line. She didn't want to think about that anymore. The next few days held promise for a good time, and she was looking forward to the change of scenery. It had been eight years since Andrea brought Sharon with her to New York to meet some of her family the first time, four since her last visit, but Sharon still thought about it – them – from time to time. They were a large but welcoming group of people, and they had treated Sharon as though she was one of them from the moment she entered Andrea's childhood home. Sharon's own family was a lot smaller and scattered across the states, so while she was close to all of them and stayed in contact, that sense of togetherness that Andrea's family had did not exist in her own. Sharon loved that about Andrea's family. Sharon was quite sure she actually enjoyed the family gatherings Andrea had brought her to more than Andrea did herself.

Sharon's phone vibrated in the back pocket of her pants, a pair of comfortable and loose-fitting jeans. It was a text message notification from Andrea. Sharon glanced up and looked across to the other side of the terminal. Andrea was peeking over the edge of her book, watching her. Sharon's eyes dropped back down to her phone and she unlocked it and opened the text message.

 _You look so serious over there. Hurry back or I might have to get up and go over there and do something to bring a smile back to your face._

Sharon's lips automatically curved upward in response to the message. Before she could send a message of her own, another one from Andrea appeared on the screen.

 _Damn that's a beautiful sight._

Sharon softly laughed, and then covered her mouth with her hand as she looked around her to make sure she hadn't brought any unwanted attention to herself. Then, Sharon's eyes moved over to Andrea and her hand moved from in front of her face. Andrea was smiling at her, and Sharon felt unbelievably giddy from just that, just having Andrea smiling at her. Her stomach flipped, dipped, and somersaulted.

It was ridiculous, wasn't it, the affect Andrea had on her? To be so completely drawn to someone that it made her feel like she was falling in love with them for the first time every day – it felt too good to be true, like a dream, a wish she dared not actually make but received in the form of an incredible woman who cherished her and made her feel special and adored.

Long ago she had been convinced that she wouldn't have that in her life. After pouring so much of herself and her love and hopes into her marriage with Jack and losing all of it at the end, Sharon hadn't allowed herself to believe that there was a chance to feel the way she once had with Jackson again. The head over heels, butterflies in the stomach, deep in love feeling was for people who didn't know what it was like spending all night waiting for their husband to come home and having him finally stumble in just before the sun came up, smelling like booze and having no explanation for where he had been or why he'd missed family dinner the night before. She hadn't believed she would ever experience that intense, mind-jumbling kind of love that made you weak in the knees – not because she didn't think it was possible, but because she didn't think she would ever be able to trust another person enough to give them access to the parts of her that Jack had taken advantage of and left broken and bruised. She had built walls around her fragile parts and made herself stronger, but she had never thought there would be a day that she would willingly let anyone see what was behind those walls.

Sharon's phone vibrated in her hand again, and it took her a moment to realize she'd let her thoughts get away from her but she was still staring at Andrea.

 _I love you._

Sharon looked over to Andrea and mouthed, "I love you, too."

. . .

"Why are you not sleeping?"

Andrea looked up from her phone at the sound of Rusty's sleep-heavy voice. He was raised up and looking over the top of his seat, his hair matted down on one side and sticking up on the other. Andrea grinned a little at the sight of him and then glanced over to see if Sharon was still asleep beside her, the brunette's head on her shoulder, her hair cascading down over her face a little.

"I've never been able to sleep on airplanes," Andrea said with a slight one-shoulder shrug. "What about you? Why are you awake?"

Rusty pointed down the aisle. "Bathroom. But somebody had just gone in when I was about to get up, so I'm waiting."

Andrea nodded her head and carefully shifted in her seat, getting more comfortable but making sure not to disturb the sleeping woman leaning against her. Rusty was watching her with curiosity in his eyes, so Andrea raised her brow.

"She told me, you know, that she and Andy aren't dating anymore," Rusty said, glancing over to his mother and then looking at Andrea with a serious expression on his face. "She was worried about how I would take it. I don't know why. I know it always came across as a joke when I said it, but I thought she knew I was cool with the two of you being together."

Andrea acknowledged what he said with a hum in her throat, but she didn't say anything immediately. He sat there quietly, though, like he was comfortable in the silence and didn't necessarily need any type of response. When Andrea did speak, it was in a soft voice and with the hope that she was giving him the proper response to his comment.

"Perhaps what she was worried about was not our relationship but how the one she had with Andy might affect you. You know that providing you with as much stability as possible has always been important to Sharon. I imagine that any mother would be wary of introducing their children to a new romantic interest. I know it's not exactly the same since you and the lieutenant already knew each other, but–"

"Yeah, I get it," Rusty said with a shrug. Andrea offered him a small smile. "I just don't want her to think she needs to worry about stuff like that. Trust me, this is the most stable my life has ever been."

Andrea forced her smile not to falter when she thought about his past. He was always so resigned when he spoke about his life before Sharon, and while she figured it helped him move forward, she sometimes had a harder time brushing over the bad parenting and neglect he had had to endure. Instead of focusing on that, she chose to respond to the other part of what he said, knowing Rusty actually preferred not talking about the past even if he would bring it up from time to time.

"Sharon? Not worry about one of her children? Have you actually met her?" she said, and it earned her a knowing smirk that eased her own worried mind.

He snorted. "Yeah. I guess you've got a point. And I guess it's not that bad, you know." Rusty brushed his hands through his hair and made a mess of it before he combed it down with his fingers.

Andrea looked at him thoughtfully. "I know Sharon's already spoken to you about us, but I want you to know that if you had any questions or concerns that you might not have spoken to her about, you can talk to me."

"Yeah, I know that," he said so simply, like she should already know that Rusty knew he could go to her just like he could Sharon. "There's not really anything to talk about, is there? You've practically been together longer than I've known the two of you. I may not get what's taken you so long to make it official, but, if you're looking for me to be okay with it, I've always been."

Andrea smiled warmly at him. "That means a lot to me, and I'm sure even more to Sharon."

Two hours and a long walk down the terminal later, they found themselves exiting the airport and stepping out into the morning New York City air. To avoid the rush and chaos at the arrivals level, David had told Andrea to meet him upstairs at departures instead. He was just pulling up to the curb as they walked through the doors with their luggage, so Andrea hung up the phone and pointed her brother's SUV out to Rusty and Sharon while waving him down. His horn blew and Andrea could see the wide smile growing on his face through the window. She gave him a much smaller one, but it held the same joy that his did as she guided the other two to the automobile that David was stepping out of.

"Andrea," her brother greeted as he simultaneously opened the liftgate and tried pulling her into a bear hug. It would be the first hug of many, she knew, and she ought to get used to the constant hugging her family was best at before she was surrounded by people who hadn't seen her in years.

"Not so tight," she did complain, however, releasing the handle of her small rolling bag to hug him back. "I'd like to keep all my bones in their proper places if you don't mind."

David released her and ruffled her hair, which she responded to by punching his shoulder. They grinned at each other, years older but still very much the same brother and sister that had caused hell together growing up instead of being at each other's throats all the time.

"Damn I've missed you. Learn to pick up a phone from time to time, why don't you." He turned to Rusty and Sharon, and then Sharon was pulled into an equally tight hug. "And look at you, looking better than ever. It's been a while. We've missed you around here."

Andrea smiled as she watched them embrace. It was all genuine love and emotion that washed over Sharon's face as she returned David's sentiments. It hadn't surprised her that Sharon got along so wonderfully with her family, but it still amazed her how much she looked like she belonged when she was with them. They had accepted Sharon in a way they had never accepted anyone else Andrea had brought home for them to meet – the two or three times she had actually done so – and it warmed her heart. Sharon was a woman Andrea had loved beyond words for years, and it pleased her immensely whenever someone else saw how incredible of a person she was and wanted to be around her.

"And who have we here?" David asked when their hug ended, his crinkled smile not leaving his face.

"Oh," Sharon said, putting a light hand on Rusty's arm, who had just closed the liftgate after putting in their last bag. "That's right, you haven't met him yet. Rusty, this is David, Andrea's brother. David, this is my son."

"Hey," Rusty said, waving a bit awkwardly, sticking by Sharon's side as he eyed the unfamiliar man as though trying to figure out already if he liked him or not.

Andrea grinned a little and walked over behind the two she had traveled with, giving both of them shoulder squeezes. "David's a photojournalist and human rights activist," she said to Rusty. "He's the one who sent me all the information I passed on to you for the report you were working on earlier in the semester."

Rusty's wary, judging eyes softened to something more curious as he starting questioning David on his opinions on current events and the four of them piled into the car. Sharon bumped her shoulder and smiled at her softly before she got in and whispered a soft thanks, most likely having picked up on Rusty's slight discomfort even before Andrea had swooped in and found a way for Rusty to connect with her brother. Andrea simply shrugged and shut Sharon's door for her and took the front seat next to David.

Andrea always wished that she enjoyed these visits to her old home more than she did. It wasn't that she didn't miss her family, or that she didn't love getting to spend time with them after being away for such long periods of times. It was the house itself that she didn't enjoy going back to, the town that she had grown up in and had so many memories of. Entering Nassau County and driving down familiar streets, passing stores that had been around for as long as she had and newer ones that had replaced the ones from her memories, she couldn't stop thinking about her mother and their time together. She never expected that decades would pass and she'd still ache from the loss of her the same way she had when it was fresh and new and she was only a young teenager. But she did, and as much as she could enjoy being surrounded by her family again, it never hurt her any less returning and being faced with memories of a mother who had been taken away from her at too young of an age.

They were passing a Dunkin' Donuts when Andrea interrupted the conversation that had been no more than white noise to her as she recalled long drives with her mother when she was about seven years old when they used to drive around until her baby brother would stop crying and tire himself out until he was sleeping. Her memories came and went sometimes, but she could still vividly remember the tired look in her mother's eyes even as she tried telling soothing stories to calm down the baby with the healthiest pair of lungs Andrea had ever known. That was how she remembered her mother, kind and loving and always one to put the needs of Andrea and her siblings before her own.

"You think we could stop somewhere and get some coffee before we get to the house?" Andrea asked. "I'm beyond exhausted."

David eyed her knowingly and switched lanes to make a U-turn. "You got it, little sis."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, gazing out of the window once again. They weren't even a full year apart, only eleven months separating their births. It used to annoy her like nothing else when she was a kid, and he had always known that but continued reminding her all the time that he was the oldest. She always brought home better grades than he did, so she would make sure he always knew that while he may have been older, there was no questioning which of the two of them was the smarter one. Now it just made her roll her eyes at him, both of them in their forties and accomplished with lives that made them happy.

Andrea glanced back behind her to the two people who were a big part of what made her happy and gave them both a smile which was returned just as quickly. "Coffee?"

"Oh yeah," Rusty said, sounding very much like the permanently sleep-deprived college student he had become.

"Sharon?"

Sharon nodded and said, as David parked the car. "I'll go in with you. David would you like something?"

He lifted up a traveler's mug and shook the empty cup. "Had some on the way. I'm good. Not all of us can guzzle it down like my sister can."

" _I_ can't even do it. Sharon has been slowly trying to lower my coffee intake."

"I have not," Sharon said, sounding affronted and guilty all at once.

"Sure you haven't. My coffee has a way of disappearing if I put it down and leave it unattended for even a moment lately."

"You really do drink too much of it. All that caffeine isn't good for you," David said. Andrea turned and glared at him, but he only shrugged his shoulders. "Susan had me on a liquid diet for a whole month. Your woman's worried about your health, welcome to the club."

Andrea rolled her eyes, not bothering to comment on David's way of labeling Sharon. Her family had automatically assumed she was dating Sharon when she brought her home to meet them years ago, and none of them had stopped referring to Sharon as Andrea's partner since then. She had a family who accepted her for who she was and was extremely grateful for it after spending years worrying about how they would take her coming out to them. So, she allowed the titling that she knew was their way of teasing her about how obvious she was about how she felt about Sharon. And Sharon had never been bothered by it, had accepted it before Andrea did herself.

"Exactly. I'm just worrying about your health," Sharon said with an audible smirk as she rubbed her hand down Andrea's arm.

Andrea stubbornly tried to at least pretend she was upset, but she was a virtual puddle of happiness and love and extreme positive emotions because of Sharon, and there was no hiding it. Instead, Andrea felt her body sag and her lips spreading into a pleased smile as Sharon leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

. . .

Sharon knocked softly on the bedroom door before peeking her head in. It was hours after they had arrived and got settled in. Andrea propped her head up from the bed and then waved her in while rolling over onto her side. "How are you feeling?" Sharon asked as she entered Andrea's bedroom and quietly shut the door behind her, blocking out the sound of the loud voices floating up from downstairs. After noticing that Andrea was nowhere to be found on the lower level of the house, Sharon had excused herself from the kitchen to go find her. Matthew, one of David's sons, had pointed her towards the stairs and informed her that she would be able to find Andrea in her old bedroom.

Andrea yawned widely and then turned her head into the pillow, mumbling, "Sleepy, very, very sleepy. I'm having a hard time falling asleep, though."

Sharon hummed and walked over to the full sized bed. The room had been transformed into a guest room, but it still held a lot of the belongings Andrea left behind when she moved out. Showcased on the built-in shelving unit there were trophies and ribbons that Sharon had heard all the stories behind during past visits – most of them from track and field and the debate team she was a part of in high school. Below that top shelf were books, books upon books, neatly organized, unlike the piles of books that could be found around Andrea's current home. Sharon's eyes slid across the room briefly before she brought her attention back to the reason she had left the kitchen in the first place.

"Slide over and make some room for me," Sharon said as she gently nudged Andrea's shoulder. "Let me keep you company until you fall asleep."

Andrea shuffled to the other side of the bed and made room for Sharon behind her. Sharon lifted the comforter up and slid underneath, laying on her side and sinking into the warmth that spilled from Andrea's curled up body. She pressed a kiss to the top of her head and wrapped an around Andrea's middle, bringing their bodies as close to each other as they could be, holding Andrea against her.

"How's that?" she whispered.

"Mmm. Nice." Andrea wiggled her fingers beneath Sharon's, and smiling, Sharon laced their fingers together and sighed contently along with her sleepy bedmate. "I'm sorry for leaving you down there with all of them. They're my family, and I just disappeared without saying anything."

Sharon shook her head, brushing off Andrea's apology. "You didn't get any sleep on the plane, and we had an early start to our day yesterday. I'm surprised you didn't fall asleep as soon as you laid down," Sharon said with a soft laugh. "Besides, I was having a good time with your sister and sister-in-laws in the kitchen."

"As long as you're enjoying yourself," Andrea said, squeezing Sharon's hand. "And I'm sure they're happy to have a more willing person to help them prepare dinner. Joseph's the only husband that even steps foot into the kitchen during the holidays while we're cooking, and I usually rather hang out with my nieces and nephews and catch up with them. Don't tell Laurel, but she sucks all the fun out of cooking with her exact measurements and order and... It's more like working in a science lab than a kitchen when she tries to take charge, so I rather not join in most of the time."

Sharon nodded in understanding. As much as Andrea loved cooking, Sharon knew that it was something she did to wind down. Cooking with Laurel could be stressful for someone like Andrea. Sharon didn't mind the structure, the scheduling and list-making with precise numbers and detailed instructions – those were things Sharon loved as well. She also enjoyed when she and Andrea took recipes and used them as bases for better creations than what they would have made if they followed the recipe word for word. Cooking with Andrea was more about the pleasure of enjoying the moment and, Sharon figured, for Andrea, making a bit of a mess in the process. It was Andrea who reminded Sharon that sometimes it was all right to forget about order, and it was usually with Andrea that Sharon actually did.

After a moment of silence, in a soft tone, Sharon said, "I've been thinking." Andrea raised her brow and made the lines grooved into her skin deepen. Sharon shifted and brought her left hand to Andrea's forehead. As she spoke, her fingertips rubbed Andrea's skin with long strokes that made the blonde groan, sounding awfully satisfied. "How would you like to spend Saturday in the city, away from here? Hmm? Central Park, a little sightseeing since it's Rusty's first visit here, maybe some shopping, and then we can have dinner wherever the two of you want to go."

Andrea turned her head and opened her eyes and searched Sharon's for something without saying a word. Sharon only looked back with an open expression and a gentle smile. A few seconds of silence went by, and then Andrea nodded her head and tilted it back as her gaze fell to Sharon's lips. Sharon swept her tongue across them, and Andrea took it as an invitation to reacquaint herself with the curve of Sharon's lower lip. Her lips were as gentle as ever, and Sharon smiled into the kiss with unadulterated joy.

These kisses were becoming more and more frequent, and Sharon happily accepted each and every one of them. Every time Andrea pulled her closer or held her lips against Sharon's, Sharon could feel the simple desire Andrea had to be nearer, to be connected to her in every way possible. Now that Sharon knew how strongly Andrea wanted her, Sharon found herself wondering how they had gone so long without sharing how they truly felt about each other. Andrea poured so much love into every intimate touch they shared, and Sharon wished that she had known sooner that Andrea wanted more out of their relationship than Sharon had been giving her before. She wished that they hadn't wasted so much time – _"We didn't waste any time," Andrea had said when Sharon told her that very thing a week ago. "We may have not been upfront about everything we were feeling, but we always knew we were loved by the other. These last year's with you have been the happiest of my life, so none of it has been wasted."_

Andrea separated their lips and hummed throatily. "That sounds perfect," she said, flicking her eyes back up to Sharon's, dazzling blue glittering as Andrea reached around her and caressed Sharon's face. "I'd like to make one change to that plan, though."

"Something specific you want to do?"

Sharon was open to adjustments in her loose plans. It was mostly for Andrea that she wanted to get out of the house with just Rusty for a day. She knew Andrea would appreciate it, was well aware of the reasons why Andrea didn't like flying back home. Andrea had taken it the hardest of her siblings when their mother passed, and being in the house reminded her of both the good times she had growing up with her mother and the bad she had afterwards.

"Yes, but I'll tell you about it at another time," Andrea said, hiding a large yawn behind her hand.

Sharon pressed a kiss to the top of Andrea's head and whispered, "Okay. After your nap we can talk more about it."

"I'll sleep after you give me another one of those kisses," Andrea told her with a raised eyebrow and a twinkle in her eyes that made Sharon laugh before bringing her mouth to Andrea's.

When she kissed her next, ardent and with more energy than Sharon thought Andrea had, Sharon had to physically put some space between them before the balloon of heat blowing up inside of her burst and she couldn't get control of the arousal claiming her body. Andrea chased after her mouth and captured her lip between her teeth and groaned while she nibbled, and that was it, that was absolutely all Sharon could handle. Andrea making noises when they kissed undid Sharon quite quickly, and in the middle of the morning with Andrea's family right downstairs was not the time for Sharon to be sinking into the tempting desire Andrea so proudly made her feel.

Andrea was all knowing eyes and a wicked grin when Sharon pulled back with her breath heavy and her lips tingling. Sharon's cheeks felt warm, and so she ducked her head down into the crook of Andrea's neck and buried her face there. Andrea ran her hand down Sharon's thigh underneath the comforter and pulled Sharon's leg to hook over Andrea's. And Sharon sighed hotly against Andrea's skin before kissing her neck and shutting her eyes, wanting nothing more than to enjoy the scent of Andrea's skin and the inviting warmth that wrapped around their bodies.

"Thank you," Andrea whispered sleepily.

Sharon wasn't sure what she was thanking her for, but she pressed another kiss to Andrea's neck and held her tight until the younger woman was sleeping peacefully in her arms.

Later, after untangling herself from Andrea and traveling back downstairs, Sharon sat watching Andrea's nine nieces and nephews and her own son as they took up the living room. The men, who had been parked in front of the TV before the kids took over the space, grumbled as they left the house and crossed the street to Laurel's house. Avraham caught her eye and nodded for her to join them – they had bonded over football during her first visit, and ever since he had had a soft spot for her – but Sharon silently declined the offer with a polite smile and a shake of her head. Susan had brought over apple cider and sat down with her for a little while, and she was expecting the woman back soon.

"Hey, Sharon," Joseph said, tapping her on the shoulder and surprising her. "You up for a quick trip to the market with me? I tried to bring Erica, but–"

"I'm finally on break. There's no way I'm giving up my turn on Mario Kart to go buy rutabaga with my dad," one of the cousins said from where the group of young adults were spread around the living room with the game system one of Laurel's girls had brought over.

Joseph made a 'what can I do?' gesture, and Sharon smiled and glanced over to Rusty. He was as focused on the screen as the rest of them, finding an easy connection with them like she couldn't remember ever witnessing him have with anyone else in such a short time. She turned back to Joseph and said, "Sure. Let me just grab my jacket and let my son know I'll be stepping out."

"Great. I'll meet you out front," he said, clapping her on the back before heading off to the kitchen to his wife.

Sharon looked towards the stairs and then crossed the living room to Rusty. "I'm going with Andrea's brother to the grocery store. Do you need anything while I'm out?"

"No, I'm good. I'll let Andrea know if she comes down before you're back."

Sharon hesitated for a moment, but then she laid a hand on his shoulder and gave him a parting smile and left him.

. . .

"Wake up. Up, up, up."

Andrea groaned and pulled the comforter over her head, being reminded of her younger sister jumping on her bed to wake her up when she was trying to sleep in. And then the bed bounced and she peeked out of one eye and pulled the cover down just enough to check if her mind was playing games with her or if her sister, her forty-three year old sister, was really bouncing up and down on the bed to wake her up.

"Sharon left, and we have less than forty minutes to get where we have to go and get back here. Let's _go_ ," Laurel said, the petite brunette demanded as she hopped off the bed.

"It's one o'clock already?" Andrea asked miserably. "I don't feel like I even slept any."

Laurel shook out the pants Andrea had laid over the back of the armchair and started folding them neatly. "You'll have plenty of time to sleep later. If you want to be back before Sharon, we have to leave right now."

Andrea rubbed her hands over her face and yawned. "All right. Give me a minute to wake up completely, and then I'll be ready to go. Do me a favor and ask Rusty is he wants to come along? He knows the plan already."

"Okay, but I expect you downstairs and ready to go in under five minutes. Don't fall back to sleep."

Andrea sat up in the bed and reached for her phone. "I'm up, promise. Let me just make sure she's not running late. I missed a phone call while I was sleeping."

"Sure thing," Laurel said as she exited, gently closing the door and leaving Andrea alone in the bedroom.

 _to be continued..._


End file.
